Howdy.
I started playing a few days ago, and my first fortress still stands proudly. I do read the wiki like snacky cakes and I have reloaded on a few occasions, like when orders didn't do what I wanted them to do or I got confused with military/alert/burrow settings at the worst of times.
But seriously, my fort kicks ass. It is called "Stakudonshen", which translates to Machinechanted. A name that is known throughout the country as a picture of dwarven resilience and ingenuity. It has endured through numerous assaults, two sieges and the attacks of a four-legged hill titan and a legendary bronze golem. We number in the 160's, but 36 brave dwarves did not make it to this day. An especially gruesome episode will be remembered as the Red Moon, when the bumbling overseer could not figure out how to train his troops up in time and had to raise the underground drawbridge to protect the integrity of the fortress. Just then, a wagonload of immigrants chose their time of arrival very poorly. That is to say, they poured into the grateful arms of a group of Goblin skirmishers and proceeded to run all across the countryside, painting a red and very clumsy modern expressionist picture with the Goblins giggling at their heels. They make up at least a third of my graveyard, and they're the ones I feel the least guilty about. A baby and a child are among the dead, too. The baby fell into the hands of a Goblin child-snatcher, who when sneaking back out through the gates came upon one of our woodcutters. He tightened his grip on the axe and cornered the little bastard, yelling at him very sternly and insisting he be given the toddler. Unfortunately for both the Dwarves, he was a real softie. The Goblin just smirked and gutted the baby, tossing the remains at the mortified woodcutter before gutting him, too.
The other child apparently ignored both the alarm bell and the screeching bat-mounted Goblin when it was playing up on the tower terrace by itself, and was consequently ripped in two with a nosedive. This would herald our very ill-fated first siege. While the Goblins sat up on the surface, playing cards and feeling very smug about themselves, our crafty Dwarves built a whole array of traps behind the raised drawbridge. The Human caravan who'd arrived many days before this and was itching to get out (as impressive as our stonework is, low ceilings aren't good for Human morale) was held up. Although we explained to them that we'd locked them in for their own safety and they better damn well appreciate it, it was only a matter of time before they'd turn violent and fight their way to the gatehouse. The course of action became very narrow at this point. I had as many of the traps finished as could be in time, and then lowered the bridge. I knew well enough that the angry Humans and the frothing Goblins had the same thing in mind, just in different directions. There was going to be blood, but on the upside (at least I think it's an upside) my army was in such a sorry shape that it could not have ended any other way without serious losses on my part. And so it went down. The Human guards were some real tough sons of bitches apparently, because they repelled most of the siege. In the turmoil, a few of the Goblins tried to run inside, tripped over our wires and tasted some heavy Dwarven bludgeon from above.
This describes the turning point in strategy. We were all sick of being bullied by those ratty green things, it was time to exert the heavy gauntlet! The close combat squad was expanded to full strength, and a second one for marksdwarfship was dwarfed (I wanted to write drafted, IT JUST CAME OUT). The forge fires began to burn brightly as we funnelled all our resources towards steel production. With wooden resources somewhat limited - we believe in peace and prosperity with the Elves - I could never bring myself to order wide deforestation. At the heavy drinking after-siege party, this comely dwarven lass approached me and asked if I had any experience with coke. This was an eye-opener for me, and I ordered more tunnels dug to score us some rock right away. It took us a year or so, then the two squads were decently trained and outfitted in steel, leather and bone. They all menaced with spikes of steel, leather and bone.
Around the second siege is when things take a turn for the hilarious. Word of our wimpy and yet victorious selves must've reached the Goblin high command, because this time around they brought the big guns. At least 3 full squads of mounted Goblins, two squads of Trolls and a few.. what the hell are those?.. approached the fortress entrance from all directions. The alarms rang and all the civilians hurried under the earth, while my military began gritting their teeth and chanting. Not entirely convinced, I drafted a small third squadron to guard the entryway behind the lowered bridge, while the first two positioned themselves in front of it. A whole WORM of green things with some tentacles sticking out came noisily down the spiral stairway and towards our ranks, already greeted by a bunch of traps we'd laid further up, but in no way slowed down. The first row raised their shields and the second row aimed their crossbows and BAM. All 50 enemies were brutally beaten down. Losses on my side: One axedwarf and one marksdwarf. Also: Everything turned a lovely shade of red. The squadrons were warned not to slip and fall onto any spears, because there was a high probability. All the way to the bridge the things were littered. Our wounded were carried off with a little delay, and with the exception of two dwarves from the melee-squad who would not have it. All this fighting and all the wounds must've made them sleepy, because they decided to go to sleep right on the spot, denying all efforts to pick them up and carry them somewhere more comfortable. Only that they were extremely light sleepers. The gushing Troll corpses around them kept them up all night, and all night they were yelling "Shut the hell up, we're trying to catch some shut-eye! Arrrgh, me arm, it hurts! I WANNA NAP!"
Just a few minutes after the Goblin siege had ended (and a few minutes more after it began), a humongous bronze golem came stalking out of the forest, or rather, he waded out of it like it was a field of grain. Oh shit, I thought, we're all going to die. My men are still on the floor there, just barely inside the cave. The remaining eight or so brave soldiers that made it through the siege without any injury were ordered to stand by their tired brethren and ensure them an undisturbed night. The golem meanwhile broke through the remaining rock traps. There were quite a lot of them he triggered even after the siege, probably because he was boasty and walked zig-zag. By the time he reached my troops, he was still in impeccable condition except that he'd lost his small toe. Ironic, we thought, and began battering him with our hammers. It was a long and tiring fight, but we totally dismantled the bastard and put some of his parts back together into a battered bronze statue for funsies right afterwards, mocking it and making it wear embarassing clothes, drawing on it with permanent marker... you know. We also didn't lose a single dwarf this time.
This was not too long ago, and we're still quite proud of ourselves here at Machinechanted. Two of the badly beaten Dwarves died of their injuries during the night, when the doctors should have cared for them but were instead boozing at our victory party. They'll get a rough reprimand tomorrow, or maybe this week, I'm feeling a bit under the weather. 16th Galena 1059, late summer, end of overseer report.
The tower terrace a few levels above the entrance:
The most disturbing thing. After defeating an ambush or two, they started putting bones, bodyparts and so forth in the statue garden, splattering blood everywhere and dancing around in it! I later found out why, but it's still funny. Those dead bodies spell "BUDCgUU MgrgrgMg" which is gamer language for "Victory". We'll use the bones to decorate our armor later.
The cave entrance:
Here you can see the aftermath of the second siege. We picked off stragglers outside. I just finished placing a nice red floor there (just where the corridor ends) to increase the general feel of the area. The bronze statue goes there next.
The main level below:
If you put the n and c-shapes together, you get the stairway that leads down into the fortress. In the middle we have the tower with fortifications that goes all the way up. On the right side you see a pond where I've been trying to make a well. Have to wait until winter for completion. The 2-by-3 rooms are all bedrooms, except for the lower right complex which is the jail. Oh, check out the truly legendary dining hall and the sexy hospital with its implied cross shape. The 3-by-3 rooms to the right and above the hospital are for the manager, guard captain and mayor. Dormitory in the bottom middle, it's not often used. Barracks and archery range keep a buffer between the jail and armory, and the rest of the fortress.
The cellar below the main:
To be expanded. I didn't have to go that far down into the earth yet, except to have a look around.
So many children. They're noisy and can't fight, but it should be a testament of how cozy it is here.
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Topic: This game rocks, and I rock at it. (has big pictures) (Read 2611 times)