The Trials of Toolgod: Episode One
Uff. This place is a murderpit, just like I knew it would be. The first few years here have been so hectic that I've been kept on my feet until I collapse from exhaustion, so exploring hasn't really been a top priority. Hell, even that greasy little hatfeather of an expedition leader managed to get himself mangled in short order.
But things have quieted down a bit since then, so now I'm just working at whatever small jobs will get me what I need to make the haul back to civilization. For whatever reason, these trogs don't seem to be able to tell the difference between a bar of steel and a stalk of fungiwood, so I've been delegated to carpenter's duties for the time being. I can almost hear the metal calling to me, yearning for my touch...
Such is to be expected of situations like this, I suppose. Getting thumped into some gods-forsaken hellhole with a pile of hooligans and reanimated poultry is not exactly what I would call a great chance to exercise one's love for shaping the beauty of metal.
Now that things have finally cooled down a bit and I've got some spare time, I may as well take a little stroll around to see the exact extent of this dungheap's smelliness.
First impressions: We really hate foxes.
Moving down from the main "gate" we find muck, more muck, some muck with plants in it, muck that's had some stones stuck in it for good measure, even more muck, and then the fortress proper.
Aaaagaaagagaaaag...!
As usual, the main hall is covered top to bottom in wild, vibrant, and perspective-distorting graffiti. Most dwarves who enjoy their sanity rush into the crowded dining hall, where they can climb on top of the chairs and tables and huddle together so that they don't have to look at the vivid displays on the floor beneath them.
Fortunately the scoundrels, being dwarves, were unable to reach up to doodle on the ceiling.
Due to the bizarre etchings, carvings and paint splatters that make up the spontaneous and
absolutely essential artistic displays, the main hall is largely impossible to navigate (this is only made worse by the confusing, haphazard sprawl of the fort's "design"). Everywhere dwarves, donkeys, goats and small kittens scamper about, repeatedly smacking into walls and fall down holes due to the chaotic effect the aesthetics have on the senses. Even the occasional bat or other deep-earth creature that wanders into the hall winds up braining itself on something or other due to the way sound bounces off of the myriad bumps and grooves scratched into the stone as more permanent displays (although, interestingly enough, the chicken population seems largely unhampered by this. It would appear that they're simply too stupid to be fooled).
The main hall includes a scavenge pit off to one side, where dwarves put the various bits, pieces and leavings of creatures in the hopes that one day they will be of some use. It was here I found one of the only surviving reminder of Siga's mighty rampage.
Apparently, some brilliant dwarf decided it would be prudent to gather some of the hideous fiend's menses. I am appalled, but not overly surprised.
Going deeper into the madness, we find a small tunnel whose entrance is marked by a number of corpses unceremoniously dumped onto the footpath. Following this long and twisty path we eventually find ourselves in the magma chamber, where my darling forges and smelters are languishing in disuse.
And, so far as my legs have thus carried me, that's all there is. That's all we've got. We're one patch of mud and a thousand schizophrenic drawings between the rock beneath and the hard place above. The currently supported leader, Atis Masosmorul, is in fact a homeless beggar who was until recently wandering the manic streets.
What's worse is that, should I intend to practice my true calling any time soon, I'll have to push this mess around until it starts fixing itself.
Uff.
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Note: The raws have yet again been tweaked to make use of a graphics pack. Can this be fixed by shoving vanilla DF's raws on top of it, or do I need to grab the mod that's being used and put those files in as well?
And honestly... Why do people insist on engraving
every single tile of stone in a fortress? Blaaargh!
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Topic: Murdercloisters: Where A Year May Well Be A Lifetime (Succession) (Read 24714 times)