Second part of our Live Text Adventure! A new Writer emerges while the old learns a bit of GURPS. Much randomness will be found here and a few 4th wall breaking situations will crop up at the end of the story. The chat will have them noted. Maybe.
Writer: Digital Hellhound (DH,
Tl)
Audience: Aklyon (
Blue), Hugehead (
Green), furtuka (
red), KineseN (
OrangE)
Date: 04/23
The explosion throws you awake. You get up from your bed in the damp little closet you call home. You hear raised voices from the corridor. Smoke comes in from under the door.
>Examine character sheet. Notice you have homebrew skills.
You rush over to your desk and take out the character sheet you prepared for your online RPG tonight. It doesn't make much sense. Maybe you should've read the rulebook first.
Just as planned, you have killed the text adventure. Perhaps you'll try RTD's next, or a god game.
>Go back to your torrented comics.
>Remember RTD from previous live adventure
You cannot remember RTD from previous adventure because you weren't there! You decide to boot up your laptop and read your torrented comics again. Unfortunately, it doesn't seem to be working.
>FIND WHO BROKE OUR LAPTOP!!!
>HIT F2, CHECK BIOS
You fly into a sudden rage, bashing F2 with all the strenght you can muster. Oh, you bet it was your brother, who lives next door. The bastard.
Wait, no, the laptop is just out of power. Too bad you already broke it against the wall.
>Plug it in already!
>Epic_plugin.gif
You plug it in, hoping your outburst didn't damage it. Thankfully, a tiny charging battery appears after awhile. It should take some time to become usable again.
>Find your hamster, EXPERIMENT!
You think about experimenting on the hamster again, but remember you left it at your brother's apartment last night. He likes to give it psychic powers.
>Remember your superpower.
What's there to remember? It's not like you have amnesia or anything. Your superpower is invisibility.
>Invisibly sneak into your bro's house.
You exit your room and sneak into the corridor invisible. There's something wrong with the place, though. Oh right, that explosion set the whole building on fire. The corridor is in flames, and you hear screams from next door.
>Beat your brother up.
You ignore the flames, marching up the corridor to your brother's door. You kick the door open, just to find the place empty. The idiot's even left his computer on, and signed in to Facebook.
>Look at his Facebook acoount and start trolling everyone of the brothers friends.
You go do what you love, messing with your brother. You check his friends - 5,7 billion of them are online at the moment.
Oh, did you forget? Your brother is God.
>Right. Now was he THE God, or the substitute god. Never could remember that.
You're not sure. You vaguely remember him creating something, but you're not sure if it was all of existance or just one of his crappy paintings. Still, he gets worshipped by pretty much everyone. Not like you. Everybody hates you.
>Blow up something from the sadness of being hated so.
Damn right you will. You decide to blow up France. Nobody likes France anymore after WW3. You need to see it to blow it up, though, and France is in space these days.
>Fire orbital laser towards space
You call the International Space Station, where you installed your DOOMCANNON last year. They say it'll take time to flip the cannon around. Better think up something to do while you wait.
>Figure out which direction of space France would be in.
Man, you don't know that shit. You leave thinking for the engineers on the ISS.
>Poke engineers.
You call them again, and put your hand through the dimensional portal on the phone. You poke whoever answers. You hear as he collapses in pain on the other side, sucked of all life.
The door opens, and your brother walks in with Athena! Aw hell, he's been banging that bitch again. He doesn't look too surprised when he sees you.
>Ask Athena which way France is.
Before you can even open your mouth, your brother cuts in. 'Man, you can't blow up Space France. Chill out, dude.'
"Why not? I'm sad and can blow up shit."
'I'll get you a beer or somethin', man, it's not worth it. I know a guy in Space France, you can't just go and kill him.'
>Tell DOOMCANNON to re-flip
>Realise we are Hephaestus, god of forges. Go bang our wife.
'Fuck you man, I'm going home to bang Aphrodite.' you say. Your brother reminds you again that you're not Hephaestus, and never will be such a cool guy. Man, your brother is such a jerk.
>Clone Space France, blow up clone.
You call the guys at the cloning plant to clone Space France. They say they already did. You ask why. They remind you they're all mindreaders. Right.
>Wait for them to answer the next question too.
They can't fire the DOOMCANNON because they're not on the ISS! Instead, you call the ISS and tell them to fire the DOOMCOCK
You soon hear a distant thunder. Wait, was the cannon fully flipped?
>Check status of Moon
You call the ISS again, asking them where they were aiming that thing when they fired. They tell you it was Mars. Someone attempts to control your mind. You tell them to bring it on.
...motherfucker.
Nothing happens. Oh well. You soon receive a call from angry Ares who asks why the hell you shot at his planet.
>"Mistimed shooting"
Ares doesn't believe your bullshit. He tells you he's coming over to kick the shit out of you. You turn to your brother for help, but he's preoccupied with banging Athena.
>Throw Phobos at Ares
You call Ares, saying you'll throw Phobos at him if he attacks. He thinks you're bluffing, like you are.
Use shockwave from DOOMCANNON shot to fling Phobos towards Ares.
You tell the engineers at ISS to ram Phobos and crash into Ares. They remind you the ISS doesn't actually have engines. You then tell them to fire Phobos at Ares, but then they tell you there's a cooldown before you can use the DOOMCOCK again.
>Get better cooling system
It's not a cooling problem. It's just what the engineers call their lunch break. But too late for that now! Ares appears and charges at you!
>Run away like he expects us too.
You try to run away but Ares has tied your shoelaces together. You fall on your face, causing earthquakes all over the world. Three million people die.
>Blame Ares for quake.
You blame Ares for the earthquake. He says his feelings were hurt by that.
Well it was his fault. You don't tie your own shoes together.
You claim you wouldn't tie your own shoelaces together, but your brother decides to get up from the bed and say that yes, yes you do. Every. Single. Day.
>Flee to Space France angrily.
You angrily flee to Space France in your Space Spaceship. Unfortunately, the Space French Space Border Space Guard Space Fire at your Space Spaceship and you Space Crash into the Space Eiffel Tower.
Space Frenchmen gather around your Space Spaceship with Space Weapons. They look Space Angry.
Space out the Space Frenchmen using the Space Space around your Space Spaceship Space Shit.
The Space Frenchmen aren't actually angry with you! They want you to join the Space Olympics, as the crashing Space Eiffel Tower killed all the athletes except one.
Space-ishly Accept the Space offer into the Space Olympics.
You agree, and Space follow them into the Space gladiator arena they're hosting the Space Olympics in. First up is wrestling. The one who survives longest wins. Your only opponent is a gigantic Space Mecha with two gatling cannons and a missile launcher.
>Climb?
You begin climbing up the Space Mecha. It fires a barrage of missiles, which means it's disqualified as this was wrestling. You have won.
>CELEBRATE
Yeah you just drown your sorrows in the Space Bar. You don't have any friends to celebrate with.
>Make some Space friends in Space France, like your brother has.
You walk up to a random Space Frenchman in the bar. As soon as you start talking, he explodes in laughter. He quickly explains to his friends that a mate of his, God, has told so much about you. Like that you tie your own shoelaces together every day. You flee in shame.
> SPACE RAGE- or Space Cry in your Space Lonelyness either one
> Poke the Space random Space Frenchman.
You return to the bar and poke the man. Like the engineer from earlier, he collapses with a gasp, empty of all life. After his friends realize what you did they flee screaming and call the Space Police. Shit.
SPACE SNEAK! (do we still have the invisibilty power?)
You turn invisible and get out of the bar. Right after you leave, a squadron of Space Tanks roll through the walls of the bar and a ton of Space French Space Soldiers pour out. Your phone begins to ring.
>answer your phone in a spaceish manner to make up for its lack of spaceness
You say 'hello' and add cool special effects to make your voice sound more spacy. It's your sister. She asks what the hell you think you're doing.
>Ask if she's also talking to anyone in Space France right now.
Is your sister a goddess too?
Of course not, what silly idea. Your sister doesn't actually exist, but she hasn't told anyone that. Well, aside from you, obviously.
She doesn't know anyone in Space France and asks what you're doing in such a silly place.
>Space running from the Space France Space Army near the Space Olympics In Space
>Spacily explain about Ares and the dead Space Frenchie to her.
She says she knows. She's watching the Olympics right now from her TV. She says you should come home before they find you. The camera crew is recording your every move live.
>Space Wave At the Space Camera And say hi to all the non Space People and Ares.
You say hi to everyone at home. Suddenly, everyone starts applauding and cheering. The cameraman comes over and says 'Smile, you're on candid camera!'
>Space Smile at the Space Camera
>Check to make sure our brother didn't change Space France into normal France.
The cameraman shakes his head. 'You don't understand, kiddo. You have been on candid camera your entire life. None of it was real.' he says 'I mean, greek gods and Space Olympics? How did you fall for that?'
>So thts why our sister said... nevermindz
>Activate underground rockets, create real Space France
> say "So are my siblings even my real siblings?"
'Of course not. It's like the Truman Show. They're all actors. And you don't have any fancy powers, boy. Sorry 'bout that. We needed a special gimmick for the show.'
> Go mad
> walk off, fall on cameraman later when unexpected.
You babble madly at the cameraman, but he just smiles. You then attempt to walk off, but hit the invisible wall. My god, it is like the Truman Show.
> Pick up a newspaper and note that today be-eth talk like Shakespeare day
Yea Verily.
You pick up a newspaper from the cameraman and realize it's talk like Shakespeare day. Damnit, you don't know how to talk like Shakespeare. Everybody laughs at you. Again.
>Disappeareth.
Thou tryeth to turneth invisible, but nothing happeneth. 'Tis is kinda depressing. Also, everyone laughs at you again. Those canker-blossoms!
>runneth away
You try to run away, but the walls around you suddenly collapse, revealing thousands of people, all laughing at you. Your 'brother' runs up to you and mocks you for thinking he was god.
>Punch the jerk.
You touch your 'brother', and he.... collapses, devoid of all life.
MIND FUCK
>Check for faulty robot parts and static charge.
You rip apart your brother's face, revealing metal and computer parts. Everybody suddenly shuts down, robots as well. The walls collapse again, revealing a studio audience who laugh at you for believing they were real.
>Go on news-worthy angry rampage! Wield robots.
You grab the nearest robots and fling them into the audience. They disappear in massive fireballs, engulfing the entire studio in flames. The entire audience is quickly burnt alive.
>check to make sure it was for real this time
>Check news
You search the remains of the audience for newspapers, but they were all burned to crisp in the explosion. You head over to the studio wall and knock. It seems real enough. You hear police sirens from outside.
>Prepare story about being tricked and never told anything really true. Look innocent and cry some.
The police arrive and all vomit at the same time upon seeing the audience's remains. You tell your lifestory to them, but they don't seem to care.
'Think you're special, boy? We've all been through that.'
>Mention Space France
'It was Space Iceland for me. I threw it into the Sun.' he says. 'You should've seen the look on their faces.'
>Cry about what you did for real this time.
>Ask who is in charge of all this
You cry for a while, then ask who's in charge here. The police shrugs. 'I don't know. You, I guess.'
>ask who owns the studio and produces this accursed show
'I'm pretty sure that's you. You had us mindwipe you 'cos you wanted to feel depressed. Your life was too perfect, you said.'
>go on a quest to learn the truth about everything that has happened to you
>after covering up the semi-accident
>ask if the policeman had his wiped too when he went through the space iceland thing
He blinks hard, then backs away. 'Shit, he's on to us. Call in the death squads, now!'
>run away and Now go on a quest to learn the truth>GET THE HELL OUT!
You flee, jumping through the dimensional portal in the doorway. You end up in a dark room. There's a single chair a hooded man is sitting on.
'I've been waiting for you, boy.' he says.
>who are you...'Me? I'm the author of this adventure, kiddo. I thought that was obvious.'
>Notice similarity to the dark cave from before
You can't remember the cavern!>throttle him for putting you through this messYou roar a warcry and begin strangling the man. He goes white, unable to push you off him. You demand answers.
>Ask how he came up with that whole Spacy Space Space part.
'You.. you don't understand... I have to keep writing. They'll kill us both if I stop!'>"Who iswords and?" //Was "Who is they?"
'The people who suggest actions for you. The voices in your head. They're forcing me to write this shit.'>Spot the fourth wall at room entrance
>and freak I LOVE PUPPIESappearing rainbow colored text //There where no puppies
You suddenly notice the text hovering in the air. You undergo yet another existential crisis.
>snat rearange themch at the //snatch at the words and rearange them
You proceed to rearrange the words. Woah, you suddenly love puppies.>Punch the 4th wall and kill all suggesters No: and kill all suggesters
>Break THEIR SKULLS before 4th wall.KILL KILL KILL //THEIR SKULLS and KILL KILL KILL are added here
You fly into a murderous rage, trying to hit the invisible voices in your head. It's useless. They're beyond your reach.>Break 5th wall and reach them!There are only 2 walls in the room! Wait, what?
>rearrange words to make it impossible to beach them // rearrange words to make it possible to reach them
You make it impossible for yourself to beach the voices in your head.
>try to make it possible to play Halo reach with them on a beach them you have no interest in beaches //I have no idea what the original was
>Surrender to insanityYou have surrendered to insanity long ago. I mean, voices in your head? You're obviously crazy.
>IgNoore SaIty Nuts //Nuts added
>draw ASCII art with the magic letters/thingys/walruses/ floating in front of you //draw ASCII are with the words > draw ASCII art with the magiccharms > this
You have no idea what you do.
ddddhddhhddddmmmmmddhhhhyyysssssoooooooossooooooos mmdmddhhhdmmmmmmmmddhhhhhyyyssssoooooosssssssossss mmmmmhsyhddmmNmmmdhddhdhhyysssssooooosssssssssssss mmmmmdyyyyhmNmmmdsoshddhhyoooooossoo+osssooossssss mdddddyosdmNmmmdhy++ohhyyo+oooooooo++++++++oooosso yssssyoodNmmmNNNmhsoosoosoooooo+oo++++++++++++++++ sosssssyNNmmmNNNmmyyyyssssssssoosyssoosyyyoo+++ooo ssssosssNNmmmNNdssosssssssssssossssoosyssshddhssss ssssossysyNNNNNysssssssysssssssssossssssoshhhmdyss ossosssossdNNNNssssssssysssssssssoossossssssyyssss ssoossossymmmNmssssssssssssssossssssssssssosssssss
That doesn't make any sense. What were you trying to do?>play snesThis is no time for silly games!
>Play the Serious Game.>look at what the author is doing
The Author is looking at his computer, refreshing the B12 main page in hopes his players would actually reply to his post in RTD Wars.>Play The Game
>Lose the gameYou play-lose the game. Goddamnit, voices!
>Ignore The GameToo late for that, my friend..Look slightly to the right of the floating words and notice the voices conversing in some sort of "chat box">Look at the series of tubes connected to the 4th wall.You look at the chatbox and... goddamnit.
They're laughing at you as well!
>We all laugh at you. All of us.My god, the monster just waved at you. What does it want?
Dear god. That's even worse than you imagined. It asks the impossible.
>notice an Antagonist hidden nearby the place the author is refreshing.An Antagonist suddenly appears from Forum Games and Roleplaying. He attacks!
>try to avoid The Dark Sword of Kaz'hul'bark
>poke himYou prepare for combat, but one of the voices distracts you. The antagonist chops your head off with one smooth move with the Dark Sword of Kaz'hul'bark, made out of the remains of games made by people like adwarf or ZeSpy.
You are dead. What do you do?
>Come back to life>Spook the Minions
The voices tell you to come back to life, but you drift towards the realm of the dead slowly but surely. The red glow at the end of the tunnel tells you you're going to Hell, aka Various Nonsense.>Grab onto a semi-dead game
>We're already in VNYou hear a ghastly voice say 'No, John, you are the VN.'
And then the Protagonist was banned.THE END
>Check Moderation Log in GD>Become Nyan Cat>fight your fate and escape into the play with your buddys section
>Play GURPS with lots of suplements>We completely forgot about that, didn't we?
Chat: Aklyon, Digital Hellhound (DH), Hugehead, furtuka, KineseN
Time: In GMT:-6
Aklyon: Why six-sided dice? I don't have any not in a board game box downstairs.18:39
DH: just use an online dice roller18:40
Hugehead: It's better than the five different dice you need for D20 games18:40
Aklyon: True.18:40
Hugehead: Everyone has D6s18:43
Aklyon: Also, heres the backup of the one I was talking about, though it doesn't start as RTD.18:43
Aklyon:
http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=63237.msg1489137#msg148913718:52 Aklyon: He has a Fa?18:53 DH: friendscebook19:05
KineseN: Man, I suddenly thought of us as Heracules sidekick from that TV show with the introduction of Athena.19:21 DH: I have no idea why I'm still doing this.19:21
Aklyon: Me neither.19:21
DH: I should've atleast thought out an actual plot19:21
Aklyon: interesting how we got to this point, though.19:21
Aklyon: this is basically how its always gone with these anyway.19:24
Aklyon: XD.19:24
DH: SSSSSSSPACE19:26
DH: I'll milk this shit until it becomes so unfunny it becomes funny again.19:28
Aklyon: Hi furuka.19:28
Aklyon: *furtuka19:28
furtuka: ello19:28
Aklyon: SPPPAAAAAACCCCE!19:28
furtuka: :D19:31
DH: Man, now I've got the Lonely Island's Space Olympics stuck in my head.19:31
furtuka: ...O_O19:31
DH: WELCOME TO THE SPACE OLYMPICS, ALL THE OXYGEN HAS RUN OUT19:32
DH:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jp77WTBLYCA19:39 DH: That was weird.19:39
DH: Got disconnected.19:41
Aklyon: The Time Slider thing is neat.19:52
furtuka: It really is talk like Shakespeare day :)19:52
Aklyon: Huh.19:53
DH: Wait, really?19:53
DH: Huh.19:53
furtuka: thats what it said in the newspaper19:53
furtuka: or at least in the chicago area or something19:54
furtuka:
http://www.talklikeshakespeare.org/19:54 furtuka: see :)19:56
DH: Yeah okay I'll stop that.19:57
furtuka: ???19:57
furtuka: stop what?19:57
DH: trying to talk like shakespeare19:58
DH: AAAAANYHOW20:00
DH: I find it amusing I already use methinks and 'Tis in normal writing20:00
Aklyon: aye.20:00
DH: especially methinks, I like that word20:14
Hugehead: I like methinkgs20:14
Hugehead: methinks*20:18
KineseN: haha20:19 Aklyon: Yay for fourth wall lacking.20:21 KineseN: haha20:21 furtuka: Lol20:31 furtuka: Hi there Protagonist!20:31 furtuka: *waves*20:31 furtuka: COOKIES20:32 KineseN: This is hilarious!20:33 furtuka: Pssst protagonist look over there *points*20:34 furtuka: GO Protagonist! WE'RE Rooting for you!20:35 furtuka: ...oops20:36 Aklyon: That could actually be pretty fitting for it.20:39 KineseN: haha20:40 furtuka: *claps*20:40 Aklyon: *claps*20:40 KineseN: *claps*20:40 DH: *bows*20:41 DH: Yeah, it's over ladies and gentlemen.20:41
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