e,You are in a dark room. There may or may not be a grue in here.
Inventory:
1 Shiny Sword
1 lantern (needs fuel)
0 containers of fuel
> Hunt for grues.
Its too dark! You need to refuel your lantern first.
> Hunt for a light source.
There is a torch attached to the wall. Light it with a spark? y/n
> Yes.
You strike the torch with your sword. It flares to life,but you see no grues.
> Examine room.
Its very dusty, with random crap scattered about. none of it is worth much. It’ is apparently a pentagon-shaped room. There’ is a door to the northeast.
> Examine random crap anyway.
Stuff, with actual crap in one corner. There’ a broken bottle of lantern fuel in front of you, you must have dropped it while you were asleep earlier.
> Scoop up as much lantern fuel as you can.
With what? That was your last bottle.
> Hunt for other containers.
There are no containers, but a lot of cloth-like materials. and the torch.
> Grab cloth.
Inventory:
1 Shiny Sword
1 lantern (needs fuel)
0 containers of fuel
a bunch of cloth.
> Soak cloth in fuel.
Are you trying to make a torch y/n?
> N.
You soak the cloth in the spilled fuel and put it back in your pack.
> Squeeze out the fuel from the cloth into the lantern.
You squeeze what fuel you got into the lantern. it won’ stay on for long if you lit it right now.
Inventory:
1 Shiny Sword
1 lantern (partial fuel)
0 containers of fuel
fuel-soaked cloth
> Go north-east.
You open the door and head North-eastwards. You end up in a room with a skylight, or maybe its just a hole in the roof. Either way, this room is very bright.
> Ponder on why not a single speck of light made it over from here into the previous room.
It wasn’ a very sturdy door, so why was that other room so dark?, you ask yourself. It looks to be about noon through the ceiling light.
> Examine room.
This room is amazingly clean considering you don’ know why you are or if these are ruins or not. there’ another unlit torch on the wall, but not much to pickup. there are door in all directions out of this square room, except diagonally.
> Dance
Why not? you dance little jig about getting out of that dark room. You hope no one saw you do it, it was a silly dance.
> Move Forward
You move forward, then backup; The light coming through the ceiling is extremely bright.
> Eat clothes
You aren’ that hungry. Its is a bit hot in here, though. was it this hot before?
> Back up into the clean room
You are in there already.
> Go right
You go out the right door, avoiding the extremely bright center as you go. It seems that this is a dead end, though.
> Go through the left door
You go back and go around to the other side of the room, through the left door. There is a ladder down a cliff here. You can’ see the bottom.
> Lick floor for water
You lick the floor, and find a little.
> Kick the ladder
You kick the ladder and hurt your foot. it seems to be fastened to the cliff face.
> Slide down the ladder LOZ style
You slide down the ladder while pretending to be Link.
Man, this is one long ladder. you’e been sliding for five minutes and haven’ stopped yet.
> Dance while sliding down
You don’ have anything to dance about, except maybe why your hands haven’ got ladder-burn yet. Oh, and you finally landed.
> Victory pose LOZTP style
dadada daaaaaa!
> fire a magic missile..... AT THE DARKNESS
You don’ know that spell. you throw your shiny sword at the darkness instead.
> Pick up sword
You can’ find your sword, its too DARK. you did find a stick, though.
Inventory:
1 Stick
1 lantern (partial fuel)
0 containers of fuel
fuel-soaked cloth
>KEEP LOOKING
You look into the DARK some more.
> Light lantern.
You light the lantern, but a glob of DARK steals it.
> Kick DARK
You kick the glob and hit your foot on the lantern. Ow. Your shiny sword appears.
Inventory:
1 Shiny Sword
1 stick
0 containers of fuel
fuel-soaked cloth
> Slice the DARK
You attempt to cut the DARK glob with your Sword. Its like cutting pudding.
> mmmmm pudding *droooool* eat the dark
Unfortunately, it doesn’ taste nearly as good as pudding. In fact it tastes really badly. You eat it anyway though; its past noon and you don’ remember lunch.
>Throw cloth at DARK
You throw the fuel-stained cloth at the DARK. The now out-of-fuel lantern flies out of the DARK and hits you on the head.
>Spit on DARK
You spit at the DARK. Nothing happens.
>Walk into DARK
You don’ really want to walk into the DARK.
>Make torch with stick and cloth
The cloth is still in the glob of DARK. Maybe it would come out if you threw something else in.
>Throw stick into DARK
You decide to throw the stick,and the cloth re-appears. you throw a rock, too.
>Make torch with stick and cloth
You make a torch.
>Light torch
You walk into the DARK and light the torch. The DARK swats it out,next to the ladder.
You are standing in the DARK. you are likely to be eaten by a grue.
>Go back to starting room
You have no idea which way that is.
>Go up ladder
You turn around and walk towards where you think the ladder is. You went the wrong way.
>Panic!
AHHHHHHHHH! WHERE ARE YOU! WHERES THE LADDER!
>Calm down and throw torch at darkness.
You have no torch. its next to the adder
>Keep walking in sqaures...
You keep walking. you hear something else moving in the DARK.
>Move away from the thing!
You walk in the opposite direction of the noise
>RUN!?
You start running.
> Run as fast as you can, until yo drop form exhaustion, or a hole...
You decide to not stop until you can’ run no more. You hear the noise still...
>Fall over/stand back up and rest.
You fall over from exhaustion. Eventually you stand back up.
>Run towards the sound now that your magically better.
You hope the sound is good and tiredly run toward it.
You were almost eaten by a grue.
You go back to fleeing from it.
>Roundhouse kick it
You stop and roundhouse kick the Grue. No effect on Grue, though the DARK clears away a bit.
> Find it’s bone bulge.
You’d look for a bone bulge, but you don’t want to get eaten by it when getting any closer.
>Find a Pebble to throw at its eye
You grab a glob of DARK and throw it at the Grue. Its like throwing pudding.
>Eat the pudding dark!
You are kinda hungry again, but a star crashes into the DARK and destroys all of it. You grab the torch and climb back up the ladder.
> Curse star! no, examine it! No, eat it! In that order
You slide back down, yell "$#&"at the star, then look at it and almost burn your mouth off trying to eat it.
> Eat grue’s foot
What Grue?
> Bite your nose off!
You’e not that hungry.
>look around and see where you are
You are at the bottom of the cliff. Are you going to climb back up the ladder yet?
> Don’t do it!
You ignore the voice in your head and return to the really bright room. it looks to be about 5PM if you’e looking at it right. Wow, you were in that canyon for a long time.
> stand in the bright light
You try to stand the the light again. its still too bright, and the room seems hotter again.
>use heroic willpower to run and jump into the light and then lie down there and dont move even if it gets unbearably hot
You try to be heroic. you smell something burnt and try to back away, but can’. it wouldn’ be heroic.
>wait
You have been melted by a laser from the sun.
>seep under a door we didn’ use before
The goo seeps through the north door
Inventory: None.
> Take the shape of a Lovecraftian abomination made from molten gore
There’ enough goo for maybe a foot.
>foot sized abomination
You turn into a mini-goo-carp with legs. Beware it’ scalding gore!
>Pull dorf into murky pool
You should probably go into the next room first, so you can find one.
>Go into the next room
you move into the next room. there is a squirrel in here.
> Eat the squirrel’ insides, wear it’ skin
You try to eat the squirrel carefully and end up with it going right into you.
You are no longer hungry.
>Look around
You see a crack in the wall, and smell magma. and forging.
>onward to Dwarves!
You move through the crack and avoid the sock-wearing feet.
>pull it into the magma
Your remaining common sense says not to go in the magma, so you grab a lit torch and head towards the smell of alcohol.
>Throw torch
You see barrels and make enough arm to throw the torch at them. Then you flee as fast as mini-goo-fish can flee.
> Name self
"I am Idri Alalecit Gathre Asri, ‘Idri Yelledgleam the Lightning of Blazes’!"You yell as the fortress burns down. You absorb as much ash as possible and become huge.
>Level up and jump into volcano and become the magma while dancing
You jump into the magma under a forge, and the combination of goo, ash, and magma turns you into a Magma Carp!
RTD MODE ON
> Become a magma skarp and go north to the elven outposts
5+0=5 You jump into the volcano with such good form that you become KURTULMAK, GOD OF KOBOLDS, they come out of their burrows and bow at your feet, the feet that will crush the elves
> Give your kobold minions wings and fire breath!
5+0=5 You breath down on your kobold minions and they grow enormous wings out of their backs, and one breaths a huge pillar of flame upwards
> Dance
5+0=5 You do a little jig and your entire army does it with you, the elves tremble from miles away +1 to next turn
> Take to the sky and fly toward the pansy menace
4+1 (from dance)= 5 you morph your flesh into a pair of wings and take off, toward the elf menace, your army following
> ATAACK THIS! IS! KOBOLDIA!
6+0=6 You swoop down with your kobold army in tow, and when you hit the ground, your entire kobold army explode in a shower of blood and guts, the elves dieing from your armies poisonous blood
> Raise the kobold dead so that we get an army of skobolds then use the blood to create a giant golem.
6+0=6 you raise your fins and summon the powers stored deep inside yourself, making a giant kobold golem which you absorb into yourself becoming a 20 story vaguely humanoid beast, with kobold parts sticking out in all manner of various positions
RTD MODE OFF
(Current form: A giant 20-story kobold golem called KURTULMAK Idri Alalecit Gathre Asri, ‘Idri Yelledgleam the Lightning of Blazes’ GOD OF KOBOLDS)
>Do a giant victory dance
You try to dance, but its kinda hard to do that when you’e a golem.
>Examine surroundings from a good vantage point
You don’ need a good vantage point, you’e almost as tall as the mountain! You see the Fortress Arrowhammers is still on fire, the dead elves, and mountains.
>Find another hopeless civilization and declare yourself their god
You climb over the mountains and look for something else to crush, but either you’e too tall, or there aren’ any nearby civs. You keep going anyway, kobolds popping up at your feet.
>Summon the very magma from the earth and the water from the seas and create a grand metropolis of obsidian
You aren’ that powerful. You’e just the god of Kobolds. you see a distant volcano, though. maybe you could use that.
>Carve a massive trench from the sea to the base of the volcano
You trip over something and land in the ocean. You drag your feet through the ground as you get out, carving two large trenches and making your feet hurt quite a lot.
>Phase two: Punch the side of the volcano until lava drains into the trenches, creating obsidian
You punch the side of the volcano, and get blown back into the ocean. Well, that worked, kinda.
>Climb from the ocean. Observe work
You get out again, and watch your trenches disappear into bars of obsidian.hmm...
>Order minions to begin mining operations. Obsidian metropolises don’ build themselves
You order the kobolds to make a metropolis out of obsidian after you dig some more carvable slabs, and order the rods turned into two giant swords. Then you start digging the slab-trenches.
> make a mountain sized throne, and have it engraved with the most deprevid stuff the engravers can imagine.
You set up a throne-mold in the center, put a very large chunk of obsidian behind you, and then fill in the previous hole in the volcano. a few minutes later, you punch it again an only get blown back a few dozen feet.
> once the throne is done, make two gargantuan obelisks beside it, that also double as lighthouses and watchtowers. Also in a 100km radius or so around the city make immense walls and magma moats. And make a channel or something to inside the walls for a port.
You wait for the kobolds to finish your epic obsidian city on the beach.
>Burrow into the earth and find Elkbirds to tame (try to make this easily expanded by the kobolds into a good mine as well). They will be your mounts. Also forge biological power-armor type things for the kobolds from some of your own flesh.
You punch the ground outside the city. finding that doesn’ work, you scoop a huge hole in the ground until you find a cavern,then send power-armor kobolds to find/tame Elkbirds and mine stuff.
> set up a whole bunch of practical/infrastructure things that will help. Also add smaller versions of the obelisks to a bunch of the nearby mountaintops.
You tel the kobolds to make more obsidian. then you grab several slabs of obsidian and force them together until they make government-ish buildings.
> get some holy scripture type things, appoint the most competent and ruthless kobolds as leaders, tell them to spread and conquer and prosper, then sit on your throne and sleep for 1000 years.
you yell at a smart kobold until he writes stuff down that you want. then you appoint the best of the kobolds to lead, tell them to get more land however and not die too much, then sit on the massive highly engraved throne and sleep.
...
...
You wake up.
> careful not to disturb anything and not moving your body, look and see around you. Then say " have awakened"and ask for someone to tell you the history of the last millenia and all that has been discovered.
"I have awakened!"The kobolds freeze, then eventually notice when you move your head a bit.
one of them comes up, bows, and gives you a masterwork goblet of somekind, you can’ tell what its made of with all the rings and spikes on it. You ask him what has happened since you were asleep, noticing the volcano seems to have died down quite a bit, and the sea is much farther away than before. You see fire in the extreme distance, and smoke from the volcano. Most of the history is boring, you seem to have asked the bookkeeper.
>Ask the Leader about the military history of the civ
You ask the leader about the actual history. [History messed up during import, will be re-added/fixed later]
You are very impressed, until you hear about the dwarves calling you petty theives.
State of the Kobold address:
At War with Dwarfkind.
Allied with various animalpeoples found in caves.
Neither:Humans, Elves
Negotiating alliance:Goblins
The majority of kobolds beleive you are invincible (they still believe your 1000-year old scriptures, mostly)
Most are smart enough to know what not to do (build walls correctly, don’ touch the forge unless you know forging, dump that stuff in this stockpile not that one, etc.)
Have quite a lot of skill in forging, chopping trees/dwarves down, not very good at farming (you left them in a city completely made out of rock),and somewhat good in other things.
Currently hold about 1/3 of the world as kobold territory, but not very well; lords of various places continuously argue and war with each other, mostly in the borderlands but occasionally else where.
---
> Order the most fersomce weaponry the civelization could create for you, also feed to be taken from all over the lands, and armor. And a large symbolically pleasing liquid container from magmaproof materials...
You command the kobold smiths to come before you, and order them to make the most fearsome weaponry and armor possible, out of the best materials they have enough of, then send them off and order food to be brought, with a drink in a massive symbolic magmaproof bowl.
>Test out new weapons (but not on the kobolds.)
The smiths made a masterwork suit of steel plate mail that took several dozen kobolds to carry to you. It is covered in engraving of kobolds killing almost everything, kobolds losing but still fighting, and menaces with spikes of bloody steel nearly everywhere.
The weapons are a spiraling razor sharp obsidian and steel sword, and a massive angular vaguly gun-like weapon covered in spikes, which looks to be made out of magma encased in transparent obsidian, with a trigger made of steel. It fires hill-sized shards of obsidian.(both masterworks, of course)
> raise a kobold army, fill the bowl with boiling water, and march upon the dwarves.
You boom "orm an army!" gulp your drink down, and fill the bowl with seawater, place the bowl in magma for a few seconds to boil it, and point the spiral sword at the dwarven lands. You’ shoot your gun at them, but you don’ want to warn the dwarves.
>Charge the dwarfs, your sword held high!
You charge towards the first Dwarven Fortress you see, the kobold army behind you.
>Use our double sword to make a large hole in the side of the dwarves mountain
You skid to a stop and swing your spiral double sword into the mountain. Its makes a decent cut, but the Dwarves are deeper down in the mountain than that.
>Stab the mountain repeatedly.
RTD MODE ON
17= You turn your sword and repeatedly stab into the rock, and pierce into the top of the Fortress.
>Grab a dorf and eat it, we mean bussiness.
16= You knock the hole out a bit more and grab a dorf and his cat, and eat both.
>Call Armok down for a thumb wrestling match
10= You yell at Armok to come down and thumb wrestle. He says no and pushes you back from the fort a bit.
>Throw a fit and let out a scream that shatters stone, directed at the fortress entrance
10= You throw a fit and scream, but you're facing the wrong way and smash a catapult instead.
Army Inventory:
An Army with full obsidian equipment, with steel-clad commanders
Several sapper squads
10 9 Catapults
10 trebuchets
4 Magma-pults
cats + kittens
A catsplosion generator
>Aim a catsplosion at the fort and fire!
4= The kobolds sent to fire it were idiots and pointed it backwards!
>Send a few sapper squads to arm explosives at the entrance of the fortress.
5-2=3= the sappers blow themselves up trying to blow open the entrance, and a few rocks tumble down into the hole.
>Ready the catapults and trebuchets, hold their fire
3...= the siege engines move into position, but can't hold their fire and let loose a lot of shots that end up hitting the mountain, pointlessly.
>Rip the mountain out of the ground.
16= You grab the mountain and pull upwards, and most of the mountain comes up. Thers still a bunch left, but the catapults and treuchets have easy access to the fortress now.
>Fire a siege volley into the softened defenses of the fortress
13= The kobolds fire a successful volley into the exposed fortress, hitting several dwarves, incuding a very fancilly-dressed one.
>Throw the mountain in your hand into the ocean.
12= You throw the mountain chunk into the ocean, and it causes a huge tidal wave that washes over both the fortress and the kobold army, smashing a lot of kobolds into the remaining mountainside.
Army composition check: 14= The Army is mostly ok.
>Order the army to charge, in full force at the fortress
13= The Kobold Army gets back up and charges full force at the fortress entrance, pushing the rocks out of the way.
>blast a hole into the depths of the fortress, then send the army in.
11= You tell the kobolds to halt, and blast a hole down into the fortress with your gun. They charge into the hole.
>Scatter your army and try to take out the fortress' denizens, whilst scanning the horizon for more enemies of the empire and fire our gun at the fort for good measure!
4= The kobolds spread out after landing, but your second shot shatters on impact and kills at least half.
Army composition check: 6= The army is scattering, we better finish soon.
>Dig into the fortress eating all the dwarves in your way, then tell the army to loot and plunder!
14= You punch a hole into to the remaining mountainside and dig into the fortress, eating anything non-kobold. you tell the ones who listen to loot everything!
>Check how many dorfs are left.
19>8= There aren't any dwarves left. "Yaaay we won!"
>search nearby caverns for unusual creatures; tame them as kobold warbeasts
12= the kobolds use the ruined fortress as a cavern entrance, and come out mostly riding cave crocs.
> make more power armor thingies from your flesh, regrow the lost biomass by eating dwarves and cave creatures
18= The kobold drag out the crocs that refused to be ridden and you eat them, then replace all the commanders' steel armor with power armor and randomly give out the steel armor.
>Pour the boiling sea water on the elven forests.
5= You pour the somehow-still-boiling water onto the elves, and it freezes, missing all of them.
Army Inventory:
Obsidian clad Kobolds, Powerarmour clad Commanders
Few Sapper Squads
5 Catapults
4 Trebuchets
4 Magma-Pults
Lots of Cats & Kittens
A Catsplosion Generator
> upgrade power armor into Tentacled biological Giant Mecha suits
7= You fail. but the commanders look bigger.
> seek adamantine deposits/stockpiles/creations
15= It's everywhere
>Get kobold cat riders, make floating cavalry.
6= FAIL
>Apply buttered toast to the back of a cat, then proceed to throw it into the magma pipe.
13= Magma gets thrown everywhere
> Reforge ourselves into a kobold-shaped sapient biological/adamantine/obsidian/slade hybrid giant cat/toast powered spacecraft crewed by kobolds. also integrate some cat brains into yours for intuition and motoric skill.
17= You do just that...
Poll
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Topic: Live Text Adventure! (Read 16018 times)