Turn 5: You bumped?find a volcano and dive in! those things always have the best treasure!
Result: 1You fly around for a bit, but ultimately don't find a volcano anywhere nearby. You do find a Skeletal Giant Eagle. That's kind of like a volcano, right?
It attacks you.
( Sk. Giant Eagle ) 6 vs 3 ( You )You try to dodge out of it's way, but it grabs one of your wings with it's razor-sharp talons and rips it right off!
-3 healthYou are desperately trying to stay in the air with your one wing, as the eagle heads in for another attack.
Effect lost: Wings
Effect gained: Wing ( same thing as Wings, only with one, and you can't really fly with only one. )Who designed this city!? The buildings collapse at the drop of a hat! A disaster of this magnitude has to be somebody's fault! I find the architect who designed these buildings, eat their eyeballs, and deliver an angry lecture into their eyesockets!
Result: 1You have no idea where you might find the architect of this city, so you decide to ask one of the terrified civilians, who have gathered around the collapsed building:
"Hello, do you know where I might find the architect who designed this city? So that I may feast on his eyeballs?"
"Guards!"You thought all of the guards would be too busy being stuck under the collapsed building to show up, but apparently some got out of the collapse relatively unscathed.
They walk towards you as they...is that their...eww! And what are they do-
HOLY SHIT THEY'RE FIRING LASERS!!( Guards ) 2 vs 1 ( You )Fortunately, the guards have terrible aim. Unfortunately, your dodging skills are even worse, as you dive right into a laser that wouldn't have hit you at all if you hadn't moved.
-2 healthThe laser hits your leg, and you fall to the ground, screaming. You are only barely alive now, and the guards are preparing to fire again...
I find a mirror and start to thrust my "Hand", apon seeing somebody thrusting at me with their "Hand" I lazor them, because seriously Ewwwwwwwww.((And I'm out of town for the next 2 weeks so I need someone to auto me, Dont kill me!))
Result: 3You study your "hand" closely in the mirror, but fail to find anything that's really that disgusting. Lots of people have hands. Except for Lordinquisitor, of course, which brings me to...
I try to overcome the shortcomings of my body by using the force to grab something sharp; If i succeed i cut off my legs, becoming an incredible powerful floating torso. (In order to float i need to reduce my weight, obviously!)
Magic roll: 4
Result: 1You try to use the force to grab a sharp object and cut off your legs. Your first thought was to use the sharp piece of metal that you had in your mouth, but you think you may have accidentally swallowed it, so you look for something else.
And apparently that something else is Ochita's pointy "hand". You drag it ( and the person attached to it ) towards your legs, hoping to use it to cut them off. Apparently, Ochita's "hand" considers this an attack, and starts firing lasers at you!
( Ochita's "hand" ) 4 vs 6 ( You )Not only do you avoid the lasers he fires at you, you actually manage to kick his "hand", aiming it upwards. It's next laser, that was supposed to be aimed at you, flies straight up at Ochita's head!
( Ochita's "hand" ) 6 vs 6 ( Ochita )The laserbeams is heading right for Ochita's face, but what's this? Ochita fires his own lasers from one of his eye! ( They are conveniently color-coded, too; Ochita's "hand" fires a blue laser, whereas Ochita fires a red beam from his eye )
They get into one of those epic back-and-forth laserbeam battles:
----------||-----------------------||-----------------||-----------------||----------------||-----------------------||---------------||-------------------\
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/In the end, Ochita wins the fight against his "hand". His laserbeam reaches it and blows it apart!
During all this, you are just laying on your back, watching the show and doing absolutely nothing to help Ochita with the problems that you have caused for him. You're a great person.
Ochita: -1 healthOchita: Item lost: Guard's "hand"I attempt to discover how much salt water I can drink in one sitting. For SCIENCE!
Result: 6The more time you spend here in the water, the more you realize that this is where you were always supposed to be, where you were born to be. As you drink from the salty waters of the ocean, you feel a change coming over you. You don't try to fight it, because you know that this is your destiny...
Effect gained: Merman 2 ( no longer has any legs, but has gills and a tail )Go forth, and find the makings for an atomic bomb.
Result: 2You remember all the components of atom bombs, so making them shouldn't be so hard. You set out to gather everything you need.
After almost an hour of looking for the objects you need, you return with:
A piece of string,
A misprinted coin,
A live chicken,
Two throwing stars,
and a variety of magic spellbooks and scrolls.
You throw them all on a heap and set them on fire. Unfortunately, instead of exploding and making a giant mushroom cloud, they just...burn. OK, maybe you didn't remember all the components correctly, but you're pretty sure the chicken was right...or maybe it was a turkey...
Clearly this will require some further planning.
Diablous:
Lordinquisitor:
Number: 13
Emo ( can cut self once every 3 turns for 1 damage )
6/10 health
Frelock:
Number: 1
9/10 health
Inventory:
Shiny new chainmail, weakly enchanted with shattering rune, with ugly drawing
dwarfguy2:
Number: 3
Weak ( starts with 8 hp )
Wing ( One wing, can’t really fly )
3/8 health
Nirur Torir:
Number: 18
Merman ( can breathe under water and swim infinitely )
Merman 2 ( no longer has any legs, but has gills and a tail )
Fast Learner ( 2 actions gain a level )
10/10 health
Ochita:
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Deity of Impatience actions
WeatherElemental SpellsMeteor
Minor Flood
Small Earthquake
Strong Winds
MentalIllusions
Insanity
Anger
Possession
MonstersUndead vermin
Blobs
Eagle
Shark
Laws of NatureGravity ( lower, higher, remove, alternate, nothing, nothing, nothing )
Time ( slower, faster, alternate, nothing, nothing, nothing )
Size ( greater, smaller, alternate, nothing, nothing, nothing )
Life ( increase, decrease, randomize, nothing, nothing, nothing )
These are the spells that you currently have access to. Each one of them requires a Magic roll, with the same rules applying. You can also combine two of the spells, where there is a roll for the spell that is created as a result. You can't combine any spell with the Laws of Nature spells, or combine two Laws of Nature spells with each other, though.
With the Laws of Nature spells, there is also a roll for the result of the spells. Rolling a 4,5 or 6 means the spell does nothing.
A maximum of 4 spells can be cast or created every turn. Spells that are cast also need to specify a location ( N, W, S, E, or M(iddle) ). 2 spells can be cast on one location, and 1 on another, or 3 spells all on different location. Only 3 spells can be cast per turn, so the last one would have to be a combination.
...And that about sums it up, I think.
Oh, and this turn is finally done, too