I am well aware that your tower statement was both derogatory and metaphorical. I did not assume you to be the kind of person who imagines that many people still live in castle keeps. My vomit remark was made to acknowledge your negative opinion of me, and to mock it by turning it into absurd comedy. As this is not the first time you have misunderstood me on such a point, I shall refrain from using sarcasm or dry wit from now on.
I am also not a particularly sociable or outgoing person. Indeed, I have very few friends. I am not afraid nor ashamed to admit that however; as I deeply cherish, respect and enjoy each one of them.
For most of them, our acquaintance began with my creating some fairly negative first impressions of them. As we were forced to work and spend time together, I grew to know them better as a matter of course. Others I met simply because I was trying to socialize. Yes, it is quite possible that I would never have gotten to know them under different circumstances, but that's just how life is.
Not once, in any situation, did I feign interest. Not once, in any situation, did I pretend to be someone or something I was not. It is blunt, and it has made me a fair share of enemies along the way. If that's how they feel when confronted with someone like me, then I quite frankly want nothing to do with them. I see nothing wrong with this.
You go on to talk about getting past a prickly facade, and getting to know and understand the person beneath it (themes which haven't been particularly clear in your previous posts). I could hardly agree more. However, I do not see how or why pretending to like something you don't should factor into this. Regardless of how reserved or even standoffish a person may be under first acquaintances, aspects of who they are underneath will shine through. Latch onto those, and don't bother with the pretenses.
It is apparent that we both misunderstand each other to some degree. What I had garnered from your posts was that you would make an appearance of liking someone even though you didn't, and then just get used to it. Like a habit. Your earlier comment about relationships makes it sound as though you aren't even
listening to them, and that later on you only get interested in what she's saying
because she's your girlfriend, so her activities reflect on you. I'm not saying that this was your intended point, because it certainly doesn't sound like that now, I'm just saying that that's the impression I got from what you had written.
As for the mention of a core personality, I suppose my beliefs have been altered by the writings of Dr. Taylor Hartman, who suggests that while we do take on different characteristics over the course of our lives, we are indeed born with an original personality and set of life goals that remains with us throughout.
I'm not happy with the general tone this disagreement has taken on, and I do wish we could settle this peaceably. If necessary, as I suspect it is, we can agree to disagree and be done with it. We obviously have differing viewpoints, and it's clear that our style of presenting our arguments is utterly ineffectual at instilling anything other than defensiveness in the other party. And no, that was not meant as some underhanded remark about you, I am equally if not more guilty of lashing out as you are.
One final comment, however...
imho.
Don't do this, please. It invalidates anything that comes before it.