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Author Topic: Murdered in cold blood!  (Read 2597 times)

Eich

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Murdered in cold blood!
« on: July 17, 2010, 05:00:04 am »
My mayor is a total lunatic! He murders everyone whose sleeping in his bed! What should I do? Up until now he has struck down two sleeping dwarfs. Is this some kind of death sentence because I don't have set up any cages yet? Does anyone other ever have had such an incident? If this goes on all my dwarfs will be killed!?
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At this time, a friend shall lose his friend's hammer and the young shall not know where lieth the things possessed by their fathers that their fathers put there only just the night before, about eight o'clock.

Shrugging Khan

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Re: Murdered in cold blood!
« Reply #1 on: July 17, 2010, 05:30:44 am »
Just kill lock him up. Lock him up in a very nice room.
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Not a troll, not some basement-dwelling neckbeard, but indeed a hateful, rude little person. On the internet.
I'm actually quite nice IRL, but you people have to pay the price for that.

Now stop being distracted by the rudeness, quit your accusations of trollery, and start arguing like real men!

Heavenfall

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Re: Murdered in cold blood!
« Reply #2 on: July 17, 2010, 05:32:20 am »
Very brutal murderers do not deserve very nice rooms. They deserve slightly less nice rooms.
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Upon him I will visit famine and a fire, until all around him desolation rings
and all the demons in the outer dark look on amazed and recognize
that vengeance is the business of a dwarf

Shrugging Khan

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Re: Murdered in cold blood!
« Reply #3 on: July 17, 2010, 06:00:13 am »
I find your lack of understanding disturbing. If, after a hard day of administrative work, I came home to find someone shamelessly befoul my bed, I'd kill them dead just as much as your mayor did.

I'd kill them and spread their skins on the front gates, for all the worlds to see: My fortress has enough beds. You need not sleep in mine.
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Not a troll, not some basement-dwelling neckbeard, but indeed a hateful, rude little person. On the internet.
I'm actually quite nice IRL, but you people have to pay the price for that.

Now stop being distracted by the rudeness, quit your accusations of trollery, and start arguing like real men!

Heavenfall

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Re: Murdered in cold blood!
« Reply #4 on: July 17, 2010, 07:20:43 am »
They do not sleep in his bed out of spite but because they are tired. Welcome the wayward sleeper into your home, lest ye too be turned away some day.
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Upon him I will visit famine and a fire, until all around him desolation rings
and all the demons in the outer dark look on amazed and recognize
that vengeance is the business of a dwarf

Fistbeard

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Re: Murdered in cold blood!
« Reply #5 on: July 17, 2010, 07:25:01 am »
Quote from: Shrugging Khan on July 17, 2010, 06:00:13 am
I find your lack of understanding disturbing. If, after a hard day of administrative work, I came home to find someone shamelessly befoul my bed, I'd kill them dead just as much as your mayor did.

I'd kill them and spread their skins on the front gates, for all the worlds to see: My fortress has enough beds. You need not sleep in mine.
Iiiii'm gonna go ahead and sig this.
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Ricky

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Re: Murdered in cold blood!
« Reply #6 on: July 17, 2010, 07:37:47 am »
well, i had my captain of the guard chop off a 'criminals' head because he 'violated production order'

assigning the captain woodcutting was a big mistake.

i would call that murder in cold blood, but my temperature was off, so maybe murdered in blood
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Agamemnon

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Re: Murdered in cold blood!
« Reply #7 on: July 17, 2010, 08:26:49 am »
He deserves a platinum statue to remind all other dwarves not to piss off the mayor. Put it in your meeting hall for everyone to see. ^^
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Glossary #52
Execution shaft aka. dwarven wormhole

Works as follows: Things enter one end, emerge at the other and then get eaten by worms.

slink

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Re: Murdered in cold blood!
« Reply #8 on: July 17, 2010, 09:24:23 am »
On a practical note, define the Mayor's bedroom as a burrow and make the Mayor the only member.  At least people will stop sleeping in the Mayor's bed.  Remember to switch membership assignments if the occupant of the Mayoral position changes.  Also, be sure to define a Common burrow that covers everywhere else and put the Mayor also in that burrow.  Otherwise the Mayor will not be able to leave the Mayor's bedroom.

Incidentally, I've often wanted to kill Dwarves who slept in beds that didn't even vaguely belong to them, such as the hospital.   :D
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Eich

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Re: Murdered in cold blood!
« Reply #9 on: July 17, 2010, 10:30:29 am »
Ok I see that there is a mutual understanding that his actions were justified. Because of this I will spare him ;) As for now I simply placed some more beds into his room, like 4. Maybe he is generous enough to choose another one ^^ If his rampage goes on I may have to send him into the arena... a death during a glorious (but chanceless) battle seems a fitting end...
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At this time, a friend shall lose his friend's hammer and the young shall not know where lieth the things possessed by their fathers that their fathers put there only just the night before, about eight o'clock.

lolghurt

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Re: Murdered in cold blood!
« Reply #10 on: August 30, 2010, 06:34:22 am »
I had a mayor pull the external magma trap lever for his room after someone went to sleep in his bed. The BACKUP lever.
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Quote from: acetech09 date=1343968486
It's probably made from baby bone, with a handle of baby leather. Probably uses the leg bones wound together for the handle, the pelvis for the handle/pick joint, and the pick is the spine.

But that's all in theory, of course. Not like I've made a pick out of my own 5 month old baby before.

V12US

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Re: Murdered in cold blood!
« Reply #11 on: August 30, 2010, 06:56:06 am »
Jeah, the captain of the guard can be suprisingly violent as well.

I mean, I can understand the captain using harsh language against a blacksmith who didn't care about the mayor's lifelong dream of possessing an adamantium set of nailclippers, but just as often, he just goes and punches the poor sod's brain out of his skull.

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KojaK

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Re: Murdered in cold blood!
« Reply #12 on: August 30, 2010, 10:10:32 am »
My military is cursed. Anyone who joins my military apparently becomes a bloodthirsty savage. I had a recruit go on a spree of fights, killing one dwarf and injuring another (who I killed trying to re-injure).

My captain of the guard (then a legendary axedwarf due to my pointy training room) also murdered someone while they were sleeping. For no reason. He was ecstatic, ran over, hacked the poor sod in the neck, got the axe stuck in his neck, twisted it, yanked it out, hacked off a leg, an arm, hacked him in his lower body, then chopped off his head. Then I think he went and grabbed a bite to eat.

So far I think I've had about 5-6 deaths just from my military murdering people.
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A normal ballista does damage by piercing with overlarge arrows, a dwarven ballista does damage by crushing with entire trees.

Quote from: Girlinhat on May 16, 2011, 11:49:51 am
They will run, naked, into the caverns and roll around in whatever nearby filth is available.  Watch for gory explosions.

MadJax

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Re: Murdered in cold blood!
« Reply #13 on: August 30, 2010, 10:15:41 am »
I have noticed that, even without a guard squad, sometimes my dorfs will just kill someone. Maybe a Urist McJacktheRipper thing going on here...
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Dwarven Math:

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Gatleos

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Re: Murdered in cold blood!
« Reply #14 on: August 30, 2010, 12:36:34 pm »
Quote from: KojaK on August 30, 2010, 10:10:32 am
My military is cursed. Anyone who joins my military apparently becomes a bloodthirsty savage. I had a recruit go on a spree of fights, killing one dwarf and injuring another (who I killed trying to re-injure).

My captain of the guard (then a legendary axedwarf due to my pointy training room) also murdered someone while they were sleeping. For no reason. He was ecstatic, ran over, hacked the poor sod in the neck, got the axe stuck in his neck, twisted it, yanked it out, hacked off a leg, an arm, hacked him in his lower body, then chopped off his head. Then I think he went and grabbed a bite to eat.

So far I think I've had about 5-6 deaths just from my military murdering people.

Er... I think your military needs some training dummies. NOW.
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Quote from: shadowform on August 29, 2010, 03:05:49 pm
Think of it like Sim City, except with rival mayors that seek to destroy your citizens by arming legions of homeless people and sending them to attack you.
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