Chapter Two: We are Team Unstable or How I learned to stop worrying and love the ticking timebombs around me
While at Feldposts Tavern, I ran into a... bizarre gnome. As in, more bizarre than my current bash brothers.
: You're a little small for a world conqueror. How will you do this?
: Do you not possess ears? It is Destiny, just as Tiax said! Cyric himself will lift Tiax on-high, hurtling him to his rightful place in the end. You are like ants before Tiax but slightly larger than the norm if you assist.
: So you'll help me in whatever it is that I have to do.... so that I... help you dominate the planet? Uh yeah, just hop into the back of the group and tell me when you're lifted on-high.
: 'Twas as Cyric fated it. Let us make haste so that Tiax may then rule.
So long story short, I'm apparently helping an insane gnome conquer the world after all of this is through.
NEW CHARACTERYeah, I think that I've kinda enlisted to join team evil. My only choice is to ditch the two stooges in Nashkel and find someone else to help.
: Greetings travellers, you would not happen to be mercenaries by any chance?
: Yes.
: Tiax will rule! He would not hire himself out for money like a common thug.
: When do you actually plan on ruling?
: Next month when the weather clears up. As Cyric commands it to be so.
: You're a bloody lunatic, do you know that?
: I think he's just charming. Such delusions of grandeur in a tiny package.
: uh... of course Xzar.
: I take it you are? Well, my name is Garrick and I'm representing the beautiful Silke Rosena, Thespian Extraordinaire. She is the greatest actress and musician along the coast and even performed at the Duchal palace last month. Unfortunately, she has run afoul of Feldepost of late. She did not perform at his inn and-
: We need to remove Feldepost from the picture. And anyone privy to this information.
: What? Not at all. All she asks for is some protection from some of his hired thugs.
: Killing is a form of protecting.
: She just requires some mercenaries to protect her until she heads to Baldur's Gate.
: Hey, that's the name of this game.
: What?
: What?
: Well, that's sounds fine.
: Good.
: What the hell is a Thespian?
So here we were
: Greetings mercenaries I am Silke, Thespian Extraordinaire. I trust little Garrick has laid out the terms of your employment?
: What is a Thespian anyway?
: It's an actor anklebiter.
: I promised them 300 gold as per your request.
: Fabulous. All you must do is protect me from Feldeposts thugs when they arrive. However, you must not speak with them as one is a powerful mage who can sway your mind with his words.
: Here they are now. Strike when I tell you without any mercy and in the name of Silke, Thespian Extraordinaire.
Merchant : Greetings Silke. We're here as you asked and have-
: Do not try to threaten me! I have hired powerful mercenaries to aid me.
Merchant : But we have bought the gems just as you asked.
: SHUT UP! DO NOT LISTEN TO THEM. STRIKE NOW AND KILL THEM ALL.
: Yeah, I'm gonna say we aren't.
: We're not?
: Eh, kinda pointless to make an enemy of a fairly rich man. We haven't gotten paid yet either.
: Tiax does not wish to sully the hands that will rule the world with the blood of fools.
: Oh thank god. These guys are definitely innocent.
: THEN YOU WILL DIE ALSO!
: Yeah, I think not.
*Rule one of scripted fights. Be prepared to act before they do. If you don't lay a beatdown quickly then she'll turn invisible and then can throw off a couple of lightning bolts that eviscerate you at such a low level.
Also, putting them to sleep while you beat them to death is rather funny. Just like me in Adventure Mode*
An unidentified staff, a potion and 400 gold. I'd say this worked out well.
: How is this different to me killing those two drunks?
: Because I've not been banned for eternity from a tavern. I've not drunk anything in the past couple of days and where the constant buzz is has been replaced with a seething rage.
: Also, she was evil.
: That too.
Afterwards, Garrick attempted to hook up with the group. While Tiax wanted to recruit a bard to speak the legends of Tiax, everyone else were firmly against his joining.
SO AWAY! We have Caravan Bandits to kill!
Ah....
: The death... the destruction... What is this, Boatmurdered?
: What?
: What?
: That was quite the funny. Next caravan we find, I get to make the joke.
:
goddammit Xzar.
Sweet Crapping Armok, we have Dread Wolves. At level one, you do not want to encounter them. They hit hard and have a decent amount of health.
: Oi ya bastards! That's my meal ticket!
Bandit Leader: I was wondering when the dwarf would get here. I guess you get to die as well.
: My axe says otherwise!
: Ah, I love sleep spells. It makes things so much quieter and less messy.
*Aside*
: When are we cutting them loose?
: Not soon enough.
*Aside end*
: So are we heading south now?
: *Sigh* Fine.
A pair of Ogrillions attacked us as we left Beregost. Ogrillions are the horrifying result of when Orcs and Ogres bump uglies. Naturally we removed such freaks of nature with gusto.
Continuing along the way, we were accosted by an armed mercenary of the Flaming Fist. I was tempted to hand over Monatron when he spoke to us.
Guard: You there- Halt! You are under arrest on suspicion of banditry and highway robbery. We know you're part of the band that has been terrorizing the coast.
: Your future ruler shall not be accused unjustly of banditry! Cyric will be very cross!
: You're not helping Tiax.
: We butchered a pack of bandits earlier.
: NOT HELPING
Guard : Clearly a rival band that you murdered. Why should I believe anything that you say?
: Because of my kind smile and warm demeanour?
Guard : Talking is getting you nowhere.
: Arrest us then.
Guard: HA! Nobody is going to question me having to kill a pack of bandits!
: Heh. The law are the people asking for it the most.
And so we killed him. Rather easily too although this cannot be helping my cause of being a decent person.
*And now the greatest scene ever in a RPG!*
Moving on then.
Gentlemen, We have arrived. Apparently Nashkel has a Kobold problem. Once thing to remember though is that Urist is a country whose only export is pain.
and Dwarven Ale, Beer and Corpses studded with even more pain.
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Topic: Let's Play: Baldur's Gate and Tales of the Sword Coast (Read 6456 times)