Bay 12 Games Forum

Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  
Pages: [1] 2

Author Topic: Kroz - The Text Adventure With Not-So-Funny Humor  (Read 2002 times)

Kaphonaits

  • Bay Watcher
  • Damn crabs are always stealing my hats.
    • View Profile
Kroz - The Text Adventure With Not-So-Funny Humor
« on: July 14, 2010, 09:05:56 pm »

K:\KROZ_TERMINAL.EXE :: KROZ

Inventory: Nothing
Equipment: Nothing

You're standing on a dirt path that is spattered with the blood of a Grue. Behind you is a cracked brick wall with what seems to be what remains of the Grue whose blood is now rests on the path, its Worm-like body shriveled and dead due to the sun and several arrows protruding from its rough hide. To your left and right is nothing but thick forest that is impossible to travel through. Ahead is a dank and gloomy brick building. You've got a bad feeling about this.

>_
« Last Edit: July 14, 2010, 09:09:04 pm by Kaphonaits »
Logged
Quote from: Caledonian
it's somewhat absurd for a dwarf who's just had his hands gnawed off by monsters and his family slaughtered to the last infant to be happy because he happened to dine in a really great room.

Heron TSG

  • Bay Watcher
  • The Seal Goddess
    • View Profile
Re: Kroz - The Text Adventure With Not-So-Funny Humor
« Reply #1 on: July 14, 2010, 09:09:55 pm »

>Climb the wall, using the cracks as handholds.
Logged

Est Sularus Oth Mithas
The Artist Formerly Known as Barbarossa TSG

Kaphonaits

  • Bay Watcher
  • Damn crabs are always stealing my hats.
    • View Profile
Re: Kroz - The Text Adventure With Not-So-Funny Humor
« Reply #2 on: July 14, 2010, 09:12:49 pm »

>Climb the wall, using the cracks as handholds.
K:\KROZ_TERMINAL.EXE :: KROZ

Inventory: Nothing
Equipment: Nothing

You take a deep breath and use the cracks in the wall to attempt to scale the wall. As you climb up over the Grue, you feel last night's dinner coming up your throat. You vomit all over the wall and down your front. The slippery Rabbit Guts make it quite impossible for you to climb any further. You slip and fall downwards and hit your head on the path. You stand up.

>_
Logged
Quote from: Caledonian
it's somewhat absurd for a dwarf who's just had his hands gnawed off by monsters and his family slaughtered to the last infant to be happy because he happened to dine in a really great room.

magwebster

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Kroz - The Text Adventure With Not-So-Funny Humor
« Reply #3 on: July 14, 2010, 09:13:32 pm »

>Begin the summoning of http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yog-Sothoth Yog-Sothoth
Logged

Kaphonaits

  • Bay Watcher
  • Damn crabs are always stealing my hats.
    • View Profile
Re: Kroz - The Text Adventure With Not-So-Funny Humor
« Reply #4 on: July 14, 2010, 09:16:11 pm »

>Begin the summoning of http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yog-Sothoth Yog-Sothoth
K:\KROZ_TERMINAL.EXE :: KROZ

Inventory: Nothing
Equipment: Nothing

You start to chant hippy-like things about dreams 'n' such and then you realize you have no Summoning Chicken with you. You sigh and sit down with your back against the bile-splattered wall. You notice something white and solid sticking out of the cracks in the wall. You glance at it curiously.

>_
Logged
Quote from: Caledonian
it's somewhat absurd for a dwarf who's just had his hands gnawed off by monsters and his family slaughtered to the last infant to be happy because he happened to dine in a really great room.

magwebster

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Kroz - The Text Adventure With Not-So-Funny Humor
« Reply #5 on: July 15, 2010, 12:04:16 am »

>Delete C: drive
Logged

Dorten

  • Bay Watcher
  • [CAFFEINE_DEPENDENT ]
    • View Profile
Re: Kroz - The Text Adventure With Not-So-Funny Humor
« Reply #6 on: July 15, 2010, 12:07:59 am »

take arrows from Grue's corpse. Hold your breath while doing so.
« Last Edit: July 15, 2010, 12:10:55 am by Dorten »
Logged
Cacodemon 2nd Leutenant
medals: 8/40
specials: 30/44
badges: 13:8:3:0:0

Doomshifter

  • Bay Watcher
  • Deal with it.
    • View Profile
Re: Kroz - The Text Adventure With Not-So-Funny Humor
« Reply #7 on: July 15, 2010, 01:16:35 am »

I think we should be serious about this for a moment. Our first course of action should be to whistle for a cab and when it came near, I saw the license plate said FRESH and there were dice in the mirror. If nothing I thought this cab was rare, but I just said, "Yo holmes, to Bel Air!"
Logged
Add me on PesterChum! My chumhandle is doomedHermit.
Right now Rampages seem to be Godzilla quietly walking into Tokyo, biting the leg off of one reporter... then creeping off again without a sound.

Kaphonaits

  • Bay Watcher
  • Damn crabs are always stealing my hats.
    • View Profile
Re: Kroz - The Text Adventure With Not-So-Funny Humor
« Reply #8 on: July 15, 2010, 11:34:45 am »

take arrows from Grue's corpse. Hold your breath while doing so.
K:\KROZ_TERMINAL.EXE :: KROZ

Inventory: Arrow (5)
Equipment: Nothing

You carefully extract the arrows from the Grue, holding your breath while doing so. After several long minutes you manage to extract five arrows in near perfect condition. After doing this, a cry of fear issues from the building down the road. You turn towards the building, still holding your breath. After another minute you begin to breathe normally. What was that?

>_
Logged
Quote from: Caledonian
it's somewhat absurd for a dwarf who's just had his hands gnawed off by monsters and his family slaughtered to the last infant to be happy because he happened to dine in a really great room.

magwebster

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Kroz - The Text Adventure With Not-So-Funny Humor
« Reply #9 on: July 15, 2010, 11:41:38 am »

>Make love to floor, activating the "Floor love" stealth spell.
Logged

Kaphonaits

  • Bay Watcher
  • Damn crabs are always stealing my hats.
    • View Profile
Re: Kroz - The Text Adventure With Not-So-Funny Humor
« Reply #10 on: July 15, 2010, 12:04:46 pm »

>Make love to floor, activating the "Floor love" stealth spell.
K:\KROZ_TERMINAL.EXE :: KROZ

Inventory: Arrow (5)
Equipment: Nothing

You crouch low to the ground, glance around for any other human... You proceed to furiously hump the dirt path like an idiot. After 5 minutes of fruitless 'loving' you stop and look around. This whole time there was some weird pale girl watching you. Now that you have noticed her she draws a longsword and levels it at your throat.

>_
Logged
Quote from: Caledonian
it's somewhat absurd for a dwarf who's just had his hands gnawed off by monsters and his family slaughtered to the last infant to be happy because he happened to dine in a really great room.

magwebster

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Kroz - The Text Adventure With Not-So-Funny Humor
« Reply #11 on: July 15, 2010, 12:07:59 pm »

>Attempt to cast "Reluctant rape"
Logged

Ochita

  • Bay Watcher
  • Doofus ghostus
    • View Profile
Re: Kroz - The Text Adventure With Not-So-Funny Humor
« Reply #12 on: July 15, 2010, 12:10:24 pm »

Leap backwards and throw an arrow
Logged
Quote from: Freeform
princest zaldo of hurl kindom: the mushroom aren't going to choice itself, ochita

Kaphonaits

  • Bay Watcher
  • Damn crabs are always stealing my hats.
    • View Profile
Re: Kroz - The Text Adventure With Not-So-Funny Humor
« Reply #13 on: July 15, 2010, 01:00:15 pm »

Leap backwards and throw an arrow
K:\KROZ_TERMINAL.EXE :: KROZ

Inventory: Arrow (4)
Equipment: Nothing

You attempt to leap backwards and throw an arrow. You end up falling flat on your back and sending the arrow backwards at the dead Grue. Blood spews from the new gash onto you and the girl. The girl, looking disgruntled, hauls you up and stands behind you with her sword around your throat. "Follow me or I'll kill you." she growls. She prods you in the back with her hand, gesturing you to move forward.

>_
Logged
Quote from: Caledonian
it's somewhat absurd for a dwarf who's just had his hands gnawed off by monsters and his family slaughtered to the last infant to be happy because he happened to dine in a really great room.

Jookia

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Kroz - The Text Adventure With Not-So-Funny Humor
« Reply #14 on: July 15, 2010, 01:02:26 pm »

>save_game && quit
Logged
Pages: [1] 2