Dunno about you, but I only seem to get strong negative thoughts for peasants that go off duty. If they're trained up in any other skills, enough that they have a title, they don't mind so much going back to their civvies. This is why I never draft peasants into my military before training them up in something else first.
That makes the problem a little better, but it's like everytime their schedule changes, nobody informs them that the leave is temporary, and that every month, they are suddenly fired from their jobs. Or, "Mannn, I'm so dissapointed with being drafted, just like I have been every month for the last three years..." Fictionally, it's nonsense. Functionally, it's a bit dangerous because your that much closer to a spiral. Goblins can't do anything to a fort like a couple of tatrumming axe lords.
Another bad thought that I think is a bit extreme is the hatred for patrols. I'm asking four guys out of ten to be stationed at the front gate, so that most of them are doing whatever they want at any given time, and the first year they grumble about it, and eventually they are 'enraged' by it. Somebody needs to watch the front gate or we all die guys! What's it gonna be? If we're going to need 9 dwarves off for every dwarf on duty, were gonna need way bigger squads than 10 soldiers if we are going to fight off ambushes and seiges. Several times a year, everyone has to be on duty because there's 20 goblins pouring into the front entrance, is it really too much to be ready for them? Do we wait until they are in the fort before we sound the alarm so you geniouses can fumble around in the equipment stockpile while everyone in the dining hall is slain?
Yes we have a security problem. Deal with it!