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[Lost Requiem]

Well, I have a noble who mandates Slade. The person who suffered the punishment was my legendary Armorsmith, 76 days in the slammer. Well, during their imprisonment, no one brought them food or water. Don't know why, there's plenty of available water at the well, and there's enough food to feed the fortress for 20 years, if I were to stop all food production right now.

When they got to dehydration level, I deconstructed their prison so they could go feed themselves, after it was certain no one else would. As they were getting themselves food and water, one of my soldiers came up to them and cut off their legs and broke their arms and skull with their sword. Apparently punishment for not filling out the last 25 days of the sentence. Now my dwarf is lying in a hospital bed subjected to a healthcare system shittier than our own (We have all the resources and skill you could want, but no one is doing the work), bleeding to death and dying from dehydration.

[Patchy]

I say it's time that noble who started the mess pulls the lever.

[Shaostoul]

Do you have any free buckets for water?

[Lost Requiem]

About 50 buckets. You could say the dwarf spends too much time trying to determine which bucket they want to use that day.

And I have a solution for dwarves that fuck up *Like the one soldier that couldn't stop renaming their weapon.*. I have a Dragon sitting in a cage in my fortress. Granted, he has a broken leg from the last guy he has to kill *see above*, but he can take a fucking noble.

[Quantum Toast]

Well, I have a noble who mandates Slade. The person who suffered the punishment was my legendary Armorsmith, 76 days in the slammer.

I believe the way to fix this is to replace "my legendary Armorsmith" with "the noble", and "slammer" with "magma sea".

[Rowanas]

May I ask, Quantum,
how you intend to retrieve
this noble's body?

[Kidiri]

May I ask, Quantum,
how you intend to retrieve
this noble's body?

Magma is bone-meltingly hot. Just sayin'.

[twwolfe]

plus he's a noble, who cares what happens to him?

[warhammer651]

plus he's a noble, who cares what happens to him?

... He would?

[Epacsten]

Much better to use chains as prisons than cages. You can place food stockpiles next to the chain and the prisoner feeds themselves.

I've found the best way to build prisons is to build a masterwork chain of aluminum or other highly valuable metal, surrounded by a bed, chair, table, and two 1x1 stockpiles, one that only holds drink and one that only holds solid food. Extra spaces should be occupied by as valuable statues or other furniture as possible. Even better if you build it next to a recirculating waterfall.

Anyone who disobeys a noble should be treated like a king!

[Satarus]

Ditto.  All my prisons are all "white collar resort prisons."  Gold chains, masterwork engravings, quality beds with masterwork encrusted glass, and a nearby stockpile of food and drink. 

Also all troublesome nobles are dealt with before they become a problem.  Always check their preferences and stage an "unfortunate accident" with any that have a preference for things like slade, adamantine, or crystal glass.

[Uthric]

i have this room  a build of  gem windows in my dining room its 3x3 and has a 40z lvl drop its made just for nobles( or whats left of them when they hit the ground) its on display for the fort to see it keep the population in line.

[uber pye]

just kill all law inforcement

>8D

[Quietust]

I've found the best way to build prisons is to build a masterwork chain of aluminum or other highly valuable metal, surrounded by a bed, chair, table, and two 1x1 stockpiles, one that only holds drink and one that only holds solid food.

I've tried that in the past, but it doesn't actually work - aside from every other dwarf eating and drinking from the jail cells, a 1-tile booze stockpile will never be refilled because it will always end up occupied by a single empty barrel (reserved for holding new food items, and never used for brewing tasks).

[Noble Digger]

1. Make sure there are buckets, water source, and a dwarf that wants to do the job (verified--I did read the thread)
2. Don't put dwarves in Cages, ever. Some people claim that dwarves in cages will be fed and watered--I've never seen a dwarf in a cage being given food or water.
3. Any chained dwarves should have a 1-tile stockpile on either side of the chain. One should contain a barrel of liquor and the other should contain prepared food (no barrels).
4. ---> Imprisoned dwarves can now feed themselves without anyone's help.