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[Tack]

This is fantasy now?


Well, anyone who wants to be a general will be rich if they come with me. Rich enough to buy however much alcohol you need to get trashed repeatedly.

[Ghazkull]

actually we have an evil lord with a dark tower, some lovecraftian terror swamps, a mirror world, a lake full of sea nymphs and a forest of elves so i thought nobody would care...

[Tack]

In that case I'll take all the Vikings and Orcs you've got!

[Ghazkull]

that makes all the mead, the wenches and at least half of your serfs and nobles(my people need food!)

Edit: oh wait you didnt order any cannibals....so no serfs and no nobles but half of your meat!

[Josephus]

Tack, you realize that if you align yourself with Ghazkull and his vile orcs, my Order will be forced to take action on you?

Do you really want Jackrabbit to have to kill you? Do you want your blood on his hands?

Some beshtest buddy you are.

[maxicaxi]

Tack, you realize that if you align yourself with Ghazkull and his vile orcs, my Order will be forced to take action on you?

Do you really want Jackrabbit to have to kill you? Do you want your blood on his hands?

Some beshtest buddy you are.

then he will have to pay me, the ninja to assasniflate you!

[Josephus]

Our mandate is the King's mandate.

If you dare move against us, you move against the heavens themselves

[Tack]

I'm sure we could allow for some female-celibate orcs and vikings in the army. We aren't BARBARIANS, after all.

Besides, orcs can be housed cheaply, and don't require gourmet meals. They'd probably deal better with arid conditions, too. The perfect half-army to ward off those pesky bandits in the desert somewhere.

The vikings are fucked, though.

Unless they're SAND VIKINGS.

[ECrownofFire]

I can always be encouraged to execute certain people.

[Josephus]

I'm sure we could allow for some female-celibate orcs and vikings in the army. We aren't BARBARIANS, after all.

Besides, orcs can be housed cheaply, and don't require gourmet meals. They'd probably deal better with arid conditions, too. The perfect half-army to ward off those pesky bandits in the desert somewhere.

The vikings are fucked, though.

Unless they're SAND VIKINGS.

Very well. You make a convincing argument. The Order shall hold peace with your fief.

For now.

We only ask for your spare male vikings, as a token of goodwill.

[Tack]

That's the Viking's personal choice. They might all go and live up north, for all I know.
Ghazkull, what's your policy on deserters?


Ahem,

CrownofFire, I really think that an imperial audit would take FAR too much effort, when you're already such a busy and handsome man already. Want some wine? Anyway, there's nothing that could possibly go wrong in our little corner of the middle of nowhere- We're too isolated to cause any trouble anyway. Have some more wine! As I was saying, there are no orcs, that forest of crude huts out the back of my house-fort is just a new institute I made for imprisoning bandit children, while we try to educate them so that they are fit to work an honest day's work. In fact, I don't think you even need to take a look around, instead, look at this necklace and rings I got you for a present, they'd look great on your significant other, or even you.

[Ghazkull]

What my policy with deserters is? Well we will find them. And when we have found them, hilarity will ensue. At least what I understand under Hilarity. Specifically we will tear of their skin slooowly and, that the most important part of this procedure, we will keep them alive at it. Then while still alive we will cook them in boiling oil. But so slowly that they are still alive when their outer flesh is so perfectly crispy. Then we will eat them alive...
An economic way to deal with deserters...

OH and Josephus who said something about vile Orks? Were Mercenaries after all! So nothing with evil and vile, except our current client wishes us to be so. Were no babarians, were  buisnessmen after all. We sell our skills in mindless slaughter for the right payment(mead,meat,wenches,seanymphs, crispy humans,elves and other sentient beings...)

About the training of my Mercenaries:
They get an elite survival training for deserts, swamps mountains, evil mirror worlds, hell, underground and the most forbidding place mortals know: France!

Every single one of them got an 2 year training in polite behaviour from professor Lecter himself!

Each of them knows about 500 messy,loud and horribly painful ways he can dispose of unwanted people.

Apart fromt that the usual trianing in Weaponry and slaugther.

so you see you guys wont be hiring your usual Waste-A-Grunt Mercenary but an trained elite of soziopathic murderers and cannibals! if you buy now a regiment you get the first 20 kills for free!   

[Tack]

Well, in that case, I want your climate-adjusted Vikings to stay mine, too..

... Mercenary army, huh? That actually sounds quite fitting. Sure. I'm guessing I can chuck the orcs in pens and huts, but will I need a longhouse or something for your humans?

[CJ1145]

If there is to be a campaign in this land, the Knights of Time shall come to aid you from every point in history! They shall be led by the greatest warrior of Erkinshire, Grand-Knight Atwati (All that was, all that is)

[Josephus]

You dabble with heretics and fornicators, Lord Erkinshire? Even your peerage will not protect you from the wrath of the heavens!

And also, from the wrath of our secluded gay order.