While you worldly and worthy folk continue to draw up your coats of arms and banners of ostentation, I have set about establishing the code of the Order of One. For it is a brave order, and mighty, and though small in number in number it is great in valor and chivalry.
For these are our precepts:
That we shall serve the rightful King, and take up the sword to defend his cause if it be righteous, as in the case of a peasant revolt should they dare protest our King's lawful and just taxation.
That though we serve the King, should he espouse a cause contrary to the precepts of our Lord Toad, we may take up arms against Him unless he gives due justification.
That we shall destroy the enemies of the King, especially those engaged in a most unjust usurpation of His Throne, won by lawful election.
That we shall refrain from boning Women, yea, even if they be excessively hot, for they are worldly and capricious creatures, and given over to wanton lusts.
That we shall take a vow of poverty against the temptations of the World, and that we shall own nothing but the clothes on our backs, except perhaps for our arms, and our armor, and also one or two nicely furnished castles, and also a hectare or two - but no more! - of land. Or perhaps a county.
For these are our precepts. Now, who shall take up the monastic sword?