Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Hyndis]

My expedition leader has had a great career so far. He started out first counting all of the stones the miners were producing while tunneling out the great halls of Roadsaviors. He would count the crafts produced by the craftsdwarves, and barter with the caravans to secure vital goods.

He would organize production, coordinating the small army of craftsdwarves, masons, carpenters, and blacksmiths to forge the industrial base of the fortress.

The successful fortress grew, with migrants streaming in from across the kingdom. Erush Edanoltar was promoted to mayor! After winning several more elections, and continuing to keep perfectly accurate counts of the wealth of Roadsaviors, while at the same time managing production orders and meeting with traders and unhappy dwarves, the Mountainhomes has found merit in the new settlement, offering the title of Baron to Erush Edanoltar.

To celebrate, the new Baron ran over to the dining hall and chugged a barrel of prickle berry wine (his favorite drink). As a reward I have ordered a bar installed within his room to store prickle berry wine to lessen his time searching for his favorite booze so he can complete with duties with even greater efficiency.

The new Baron then went on break. The year was 1054.

The year is currently 1057. Baron Erush Edanoltar is still taking his extended vacation. During this time he still talks with anyone who wishes to speak to him, but refuses to maintain the counts of the wealth of the fortress, refuses to manage production orders, refuses to even meet with the traders. If someone comes to his office he will speak with them. But he refuses to leave his office to do anything aside from drinking more prickle berry wine.

The only time he ever sits in his platinum throne is when he's hungry. He refuses to perform any of the vital functions that earned him the title of leader, mayor, and baron.

During his extended vacation, a recent migrant has taken up the duties, counting the wealth of the fortress, managing production, meeting with traders, and even tending to the injured. Its a busy schedule, but he is able to perform it admirably.

Yet another trading season has passed. Erush Edanoltar is refusing to leave his room to meet with them again.

Since his promotion to baron, Erush Edanoltar has become corpulent. When possible he prefers to consume prickle berry wine. He is very weak, very quick to tire, and shockingly fragile. He has a feel for music but he has an iffy memory, shortage of patience, meager creativity, poor empathy, a meager kinesthetic sense, and next to no willpower.

He is assertive. He often does the first thing that comes to mind.

The year is now 1058. Erush Edanoltar has found another barrel of prickle berry wine and emptied it. After feasting upon yet another roast, the baron rolls over to his bed and takes a nap.

His extended vacation continues. He proclaims that he is still on break.

Being a baron is a hard life.

[Snook]

I lol'd.

But seriously, that sounds like a bug.

[Hyndis]

Probably is. He has been "on break" for years now, refuses to do anything at all. He will still talk to the liaison and unhappy dwarves but will not do any other jobs at all, even other noble jobs.

I'm not sure if its relevant, but the human liaison in my fortress was a forgotten beast. It showed up and started smashing the hell out of everything in my fortress, causing mayhem. It was eventually stopped by me walling it in, then arranging for there to be an Unfortunate Accident for the forgotten beast.

It was about this time that I noticed my baron stopped doing any other jobs beside stuff his face with food and booze, or talk to people if they show up in his office. He will not do anything else, and will not even go to the trade depot to trade.

[Dora Feddy]

I believe it's time for your lazy noble to go the way most unsatisfactory dwarven nobles go...

Magma/deep water/pits of doom solve everything.

[Joe-Schmoe]

No, no, no, no.

Certain nobles are exempt from "menial labor"; the baron is one such noble. I wouldn't have thought this includes stockpile records, trading, etc, but it sounds like it does. Go to your nobles screen and reassign the positions of broker, manager, and bookkeeper to someone else.

If all the baron does is sit in his room and drink, I'd say HE'S A KEEPER!

[Hyndis]

No, no, no, no.

Certain nobles are exempt from "menial labor"; the baron is one such noble. I wouldn't have thought this includes stockpile records, trading, etc, but it sounds like it does. Go to your nobles screen and reassign the positions of broker, manager, and bookkeeper to someone else.

If all the baron does is sit in his room and drink, I'd say HE'S A KEEPER!

As I mentioned, I've already replaced him with someone else that does work..

Also in previous fortresses I have had barons who continue to perform manager, bookkeeping, and broker jobs while still being the baron.

And this particular dwarf is still listed as being "on break".

[NightmareBros]

Well, considering this noble does not ask what is impossilbe, and does not condem your most usefull dwarf to be hammered to death, I'd say that him staying in his room getting wasted is a humourous way of finding how to keep nobles from annoying your fort, if not a tad unfortunate on your wine stock.

[ed boy]

Try injuring (but not killing) him.

[culwin]

You don't have to worry until he starts requesting banana nut ice cream.
http://www.lvrj.com/blogs/schumacher/Margulis_witnessed_billionaires_final_years.html

[Hyndis]

He prefers eating only cheese roasts made from one-hump camel milk. Not two-hump, one-hump. To add variety I add in cave lobsters or fish with the one-hump camel cheese.

He's nearly always found in his booze stockpile or getting another roast from the pantry. He takes naps between his constant meals.

His vacation continues! The year is now 1060, and he's still on break.

[Patchy]

Sounds like he decided to retire and hasn't notified you yet. Does he make mandates and demands though? Or is he also too lazy to do those?

[Hyndis]

He still makes mandates and demands but I ignore him. There's no captain of the guard. He'll just have to cry into his prickle berry wine and cheese roast.

Yes, he has cheese to go along with his wine.

[Patchouli]

What a party animal.

[Hyndis]

For some reason he has recently become completely coated in black sand and garnierite. Every single body part is covered in it. He refuses to take a bath even though I have plentiful fresh water in the fortress.

I found that I'm able to get him to carry around a weapon. I enabled woodcutting for him. He won't actually cut any trees down since he's still on his never ending vacation, but the masterwork steel axe looks impressive. Any proper dwarven ruler should carry one at all times.

I also installed a weapon trap at the entrance of his room, with spiked steel balls. He loves spiked balls. He spends the brief period of time when he's not boozing or eating admiring the spiked steel balls.

If need be I can just lock down his room. In case of invasion he should be able hold out for a long time in there, and with both the weapon trap and his own personal axe he can cause some damage.

Each section of my fortress is designed to be somewhat self contained and defensible. There isn't much in game benefit from it, but it just looks nice. And its very dwarven. Fortresses within fortresses.

[Patchouli]

I do not know this noble very well, but I am warming up to him.