Turn 10The Ultimate StageIronyOwl(5) You point, to great effect. (SHAD0Wdump) Wearily, your elephants gallop onwards in the hope of destroying at least one thing before the day is out. Unfortunately, the thing they're trying to destroy is too far away to get at in a timely fashion. This is infuriating! Kittens fall from the sky, but they do not slake the elephants' thirst - they merely serve as appetizers. Crunchy, mewing appetizers.
elephant rage is risingSHAD0Wdump(1) You requisition some of the kittens for throwing at elephants. Which is to say, you grab all of them and hurl them toward the elephants. A long jump champion you are not, but you are, in fact, quite good at throwing things. Unfortunately, that skill is not tempered by common sense. Elephants are like dragons: the more you feed them, the hungrier they get. The more blood they feed on, the angrier they get. You manage to throw the bundle of kittens such that all four are impaled on an elephant's tusk. The unpleasant sound of four sets of kitten bones being ground into fragments follows shortly thereafter.
(1) Roland continues to be semi-incompetent due to his wide-eyed staring at Delta. He sloshes more wine onto the fire, again missing with most of it. (techno - 1) Fortunately, Delta is unable to take advantage of this because he also continues to be incompetent and can't find gilopee in the dictionary or use his hammer effectively. Both of them having failed to show anything resembling good sense, the Ramstein ends up puttering over the finish line on the very last of the booze. Without you to steer it, it also bumps gently into a stray monstrosity.
Roland has finished in second place.
techno65535(1) Delta can't handle so many commands at once, and he doesn't know what gilopee means! Augh! He's so confused he forgets to redirect the hammer back downward as it comes back from a swing, so he ends up hitting himself in the face. The idiot. He's no help at all. (6) You turn your attention towards finishing third, but there's no need. Your pumpers are still pumping like they've never pumped before, but they're in danger of having their arms fall off or something from pumping so hard. No matter, that shouldn't stop a true dwarf.
Frelock(1) You hurry down from your contraption to gather materials befitting your new status. So engrossed are you in this task that you do not notice a rockety thing bearing down on you. Fortunately it's not moving fast enough to run you over, but it does knock you on your back, legs floundering helplessly. Ouch.
wolfchild(2) You try to GEt them going again, but your eagles are perplexed by your nonspecific use of the pronoun 'them' and your strange intonation on the word 'get.' They can hear your intentions as well as your words, by the way. They get going anyway. They would love nothing more than to consume dwarf-flesh, but there's nobody suitable in range. Alas.
ErrolOne last hurrah for the brave flesh-eating eagles of the SKY FIRE! You launch into the air amidst the screeches of your winged companions. (1) You order your dashing first mate to impede the Rampage's progress with rocks. Not a dwarf for half-measures, he hurls at least a half-dozen boulders smoothly and precisely. Unfortunately, he hurls them at precisely the wrong places. (?) All hit the ground harmlessly but two. One bounces off the chassis of Ye Olde Cannony Death, while the other hits a flying cat. Wait, flying cat? Agh! You cringe as you are briefly surrounded by cats. The air fills with screeches, and you hear several thumps and a loud crunching noise. The SKY FIRE rocks from multiple impacts, and it lurches as your eagles are briefly interrupted.
It's over as quickly as it began. You begin to jeer at the cat-loving fools as you gracefully touch down.
Paranatural(1) You
try to give Reginald a commendation. You try. But you can't do it. He failed to secure the cannon, so he just doesn't deserve one. Reginald breaks off to stare at your inner struggle. As he watches you quiver with effort, your eyes meet his, and you see him shed a single tear. He knows what you're thinking. (4-1) He turns sorrowfully toward the cannon, and kicks it in an outburst of sudden fury. Percussive maintenance, usually a reliable standby on dwarven racers, seems to have reduced effectiveness here. The cannon is still not in perfect shape, but is better-aligned than it was. (6) Your other passenger has already jettisoned all your kittens, so Igor must call up the reserves. He calls forth the idle cats, who respond with great haste. His practice shows as he hurls one cat after another toward the flying fortress. (?) Three miss, one dissolves into a fine red mist as his flight is interdicted by a boulder, one hits an eagle and is quickly eaten, and three collide with the armour plating. Of those three, two tear holes in the armour, concealing themselves within the fortress, and one bounces right off, ending up as a cat-flavoured pancake on the road below.
Stray cat(Tame) has given birth to kittens.CommentsHey guys, I set a new record of almost two weeks! Aren't I clever.
Course infoTropical Moist Broadleaf Forest
Heavily Forested
Terrifying
- - - - - - - - - -
S _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ +
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 _ - 1 1 1 2 2
+ __ __ __ __ __ F
10 11 12 13 14 15
Key
S = Start
F = Finish
_ = One tile
+ = Corner
Bottom Numbers = Square number
Top Numbers = Racers present on that square
StatusesPosition: 15
Driver's eyes are on fire. Face burned slightly. Not because of the eyes.
Boarders: None
Iron chassis - Has a pretty huge dent in it and also has a massive dent in the front.
Pump engine - More or less works. Not in tip-top condition though. Steering is still damaged, but the driver has seized the control arms.
4 normal henchdwarves - Henchdwarf Delta has the unyielding power of the Earth and is on the Ramstein, smoking gently. Badly burned, and has lost his beard.
Hammer - Held by Henchdwarf Delta.
2 Cages - One broken, the other contains a strangler.
!!Lignite bin!!
Cash: 0☼
Position: 12
Boarders: None.
2 Giant Eagles - Promised more food after the race if they perform well, which was implied to be kobold meat. Will descend into murderous rage if that promise is not met. Survival instinct increased. Also stunned.
Iron Chassis - Many decent-sized holes in it.
Cash: 0☼
Position: 13
Boarders: Igor, who has been instructed to help you and is standing guard. Promised a boot. SHAD0Wdump is also riding on the exterior.
Iron Chassis
Enclosed Cabin with Fortifications
Cats
Cannon
Henchdwarf - Called Reginald. Efficient, sort of. Doesn't deserve a commendation.
2 Kittens
Cash: 0☼
Owed 250☼ by Shadow.
Position: Finished - Second place awarded to Roland!
Driver is on square 13, riding Ye Olde Cannony Death.
Boarders: Henchdwarf Delta, who is stunned and lying sprawled on the chassis.
-Steel chassis - Small gashes on one side
-Spikes(chassis)
-Screw pump engine
-Booze rocket
-Standard henchdwarf - Called Roland, vowed not to steal booze from Shadow, convinced that Shadow is watching his every thought.
Cash: 0☼
Owes Paranatural 250☼.
Position: Finished - First place!
Driver is a spider-dwarf with booze venom and eight legs and stuff. He's also sort of telepathic and commands the loyalty of spiders. Currently knocked on his back.
Boarders: Many phantom spiders, well-entrenched.
-Wooden Chassis
-Perpetual motion engine
-Igor - currently on the exterior of Ye Olde Cannony Death. Face is scratched.
Cash: 50☼
Position: 15
Boarders: None.
Steel Chassis - Has a pentacle drawn on it in dwarf blood. Slightly scorched. Badly dented at the back and has lost a wheel, which is bad for handling.
Elephant Engine - One has had both eyes replaced with small red ones from a strangler and is lightly injured. One has a strangler's brain and is a frankenphant. The spirit of the frankenphant remains with you. One has a cannonball lodged just above his tail. The rage of all three is RISING!
Spiked Chassis
Cash: 0☼
Position: 14
Boarders: Two cats.
Chassis: -Iron Chassis - Two cat-shaped holes on the bottom.
Engines: -Giant Eagle - One is sentient.
Weapons: -Catapult
Henchdwarves: -Standard Henchdwarf - Dashing, shows initiative, has been promised extra booze. Dubiously holds the rank of First Mate.
Misc: 1x -Booze
Cash: 0☼
Author
Topic: The Dwarven Race III - Race Two, start. (Read 19916 times)