Turn 5IronyOwl(3) Okay. This idea is completely absurd. Not least because you have no idea how to do anything regarding the spirit world. Do spirits even have a separate world? You don't know. Whatever, that's not going to stop you. You say a few prayers over your vehicle to sanctify it, draw a pentacle in your own blood, break off a spike and bend it into the shape of an ankh, use the ankh to cut off some of your hair, make the hair into a crude humanoid doll-figure, snag a branch(!) from a nearby tree and carve it into a miniature totem pole, and perform a series of steps which are supposed to be a rain dance but are actually completely meaningless. You suspect that all you have gotten out of this is a bunch of useless semi-religious paraphernalia, rather than the immortal, intangible, invisible servant you were hoping for. Oh well. (Paranatural) Onward! Your elephants decide to go in a forwards direction, but (Paranatural - 6) your opponent's dark designs have done you a mischief this day. For reasons unknown, he so happens to have fired a cannonball, (2) which rips through the leftmost elephant's head. (2) Infuriatingly, you are unable to deliver vengeance! Your elephants fall short due to the mysterious force of recoil acting on Paranatural's vehicle. You mourn your dead elephant. He was like a son to you. If only there was a way to bring him back.
wolfchild(1) You egg your eagles on, exhorting them to do what they do best. Perhaps that was bad phrasing, given their history. Once again, you are the victim of your stupid eagles. (6) You shout that there is more of a chance that you'll finish in the top three if they'll sabotage other racers! They remain stupid eagles, and so they are swayed by your words (even though they don't understand what you're saying), but do not realize that attacking the closest racer is not ideal when you're in equal last place. Whatever, they're not attacking you anymore. (2) Some try to attack the other eagles below, but they are limited by their harnesses. Stupid eagles need to work in unison.
Errol(4) You shout at your eagles. You shout at them good. They seem tired, the slackers, but the sentient one screeches and they laboriously start flapping harder. They are weary, but moving quickly in spite of that. (3) You bestow the title of First Mate upon your henchdwarf. He begins to object, saying that you are not a captain and therefore have no right to grant such a title, but quiets down after realizing that while you are not a captain
de jure, you are in command of this vessel and may be addressed as such. (3) Such internal debate is not conducive to efficient running of a ship. Car. Fortress. Whatever. It's not conducive, and so all your first mate manages to do is load the catapult with a rock.
Frelock(1) The spiders do not wish to hear about your dim mental presence. Your dim mental presence is as nothing to them. (6) Incensed at your assault on their free will, they decide to show you good and start eating you and crawling into your body through your nostrils and it's all very messy. (6) However, you overcome the paralysis anyway! The tremendous pain of having spiders in your bowels is irrelevant as you lift yourself up through sheer willpower and terror caused by the approaching trees. (5) How do you even drive that well when the stuff that's flowing in your veins is more venom than alcohol? You swerve your contraption about the turn masterfully. (2) Igor fails to stop throwing cats around. He's not being very helpful, is he?
SHAD0WdumpRoland gets back into the groove. Losing himself in the rhythm of booze to rocket, he is able to find peace despite the constant surveillance of his thoughts. You move forward quickly, but the flow is broken as something large and hairy and six-limbed lands on the deck. I say, you're being boarded. Seems you have bad karma, what? Although stranglers seem to be everywhere nowadays.
techno65535(2) The strangler is unable to reenact the Black Knight scene owing to his inability to reconcile his six limbs with the distinctly humanoid configuration of Arthur, King of the Britons. He ends up simply flailing his arms about like a particularly animated pork chop. (5) It is during this flailing that Delta finally manages to hit something properly. Your words are evocative enough to conjure fond memories of a time that may or may not have existed, and skill in a sport that may or may not have ever been previously conceived. He delivers a mighty thwack, launching the strangler (4) over the rear end of your vehicle and causing him to land on his head on the Ramstein. He avoids the spikes, thankfully. Well, that's bad given that he's an entity of pure malevolence, but it hurts your opponent so it's fine. Your pumpers show some signs of fatigue, but they comport themselves admirably in the face of your possible abuse should they fail to maintain speed.
ParanaturalYou call for Reginald's assistance in maintaining forward momentum. (1) He protests that his name is Harrison, but you're not fooled. You order Reginald to utilize the power of Urist's Third Law of Motion to maintain positive acceleration. (5)(6) While he is not sure if Urist's laws apply in this situation, or indeed if they ever apply, he remains your faithful servant. He manages to reverse the cannon despite the incredibly cramped space inside your vehicle - Igor is no help at all by the way, he's still gallivanting around throwing cats - load the cannon, and fire it. This, predictably, expels a large cannonball. It also increases your speed. However, the cannonball is more interesting. As it happens, its trajectory is directly in line with a large elephant that is currently charging at you with blood and fire in its eyes. (IronyOwl - 2) It rips through the elephant's head, which collapses to the ground with a tremendous thud.
Your kittens are now grown.
Stray cat (Tame) has given birth to kittens.CommentsSo it turns out that when I say 'before Monday' I actually mean 'by Monday.' Bet none of you knew that. Schedule Slippage is a dangerous thing, but it's not quite happening yet. It's only been three days, after all.
Anyway. Dead elephants make me sad.
Course infoTropical Moist Broadleaf Forest
Heavily Forested
Terrifying
- - - - 1 1 2 2 - 1
S _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ +
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 _
+ __ __ __ __ __ F
10 11 12 13 14 15
Key
S = Start
F = Finish
_ = One tile
+ = Corner
Bottom Numbers = Square number
Top Numbers = Racers present on that square
StatusesPosition: 8
Boarders: None
Iron chassis - Has a pretty huge dent in it.
Pump engine
4 normal henchdwarves - Henchdwarf Delta has the unyielding power of the Earth.
Hammer
1 Mechanism - Non-functional.
2 Cages - One broken, the other contains a strangler.
!!Lignite bin!!
Cash: 0☼
Position: 5
Boarders: None.
2 Giant Eagles - Promised more food after the race if they perform well, which was implied to be kobold meat. Will descend into murderous rage if that promise is not met.
Iron Chassis - Many decent-sized holes in it.
Cash: 0☼
Position: 8
Boarders: Igor, who has been instructed to help you and is still throwing cats around.
Iron Chassis
Enclosed Cabin with Fortifications
Cats
Cannon
Henchdwarf - Called Reginald
1 Cat, 2 Kittens
Cash: 0☼
Position: 7
Boarders: One strangler.
-Steel chassis - Small gashes on one side
-Spikes(chassis)
-Screw pump engine
-Booze rocket
-Standard henchdwarf - Called Roland, vowed not to steal booze from Shadow, convinced that Shadow is watching his every thought.
-Booze x4
Cash: 0☼
Position: 10
Driver filled with live phantom spiders. That can't be good for you. He's also sort of telepathic.
Boarders: Many phantom spiders, well-entrenched.
-Wooden Chassis
-Perpetual motion engine
-Igor - currently on the exterior of Ye Olde Cannony Death. Face is scratched.
Cash: 50☼
Position: 7
Boarders: None.
Steel Chassis - Has a pentacle drawn on it in dwarf blood.
Elephant Engine - One has had both eyes replaced with small red ones from a strangler and is lightly injured. One has had his head ripped open by a cannonball and is dead.
Spiked Chassis
Cash: 0☼
Position: 6
Boarders: None.
Chassis: -Iron Chassis
Engines: -Giant Eagle - One is sentient.
Weapons: -Catapult - Loaded.
Henchdwarves: -Standard Henchdwarf - Dashing, shows initiative, has been promised extra booze. Dubiously holds the rank of First Mate.
Misc: 1x -Booze
Cash: 0☼
Author
Topic: The Dwarven Race III - Race Two, start. (Read 20389 times)