Turn 2wolfchild(4) You fly low over Frelock's absurd contraption. You are about to open fire when you realize you have absolutely nothing to strafe him with. Good thing you weren't seized by the urge to throw your other kobold overboard, because that would just be silly. (Auto-fail) You also yell at your eagles to retrieve the other other kobold, but they can't understand you because they're stupid eagles! (2) The stupid eagles also realize that eagle treats are not forthcoming, (1) and a few of them begin attacking you for having the temerity to withhold them! The more loyal among them are barely able to keep you aloft, let alone maintain forward momentum. What do you do? (3) Oh, and there are a bunch of skeletal chimpanzees about to jump on your flying machine.
Things spawned of vile darkness leap out of the trees! Watch your heads.
techno65535(6) Inspired by the mere thought of quarry bushes, Henchdwarf Delta gains
the unyielding power of the Earth. The bin sails over toward the Ramstein with perfect accuracy, (1) but unaccountably bounces right off its intended target and hits Delta square in the face, (4) but
the unyielding power of the Earth prevents him from being injured. Looks like you're back to square one with regards to your cunning attack plan, (6) but you consider this unimportant because you seem to have developed acute and very intense paranoia, apparently brought on by the movement in the trees. What is more important is the possibility of betrayal by Henchdwarf Delta. His obviously planned attempt at self-mutilation is obviously a ploy to make you lose the race, (3) as is the pair of four-armed apes trying to jump on your vehicle. They were obviously sent by your competitors, but you have the drop on them (metaphorically speaking) thanks to your unique mental state. You have a cage trap, but you definitely can't rely on it as it's probably been sabotaged. (2) Your pumpers are also not pumping hard enough, and you're falling behind. Conspiracy! What now?
Paranatural(6) Your henchdwarf loads and fires the cannon with extreme efficiency, but forgets that he already loaded it before the race. BOOM. The tremendous recoil from the double charge of gunpowder pushes you back, (5) but your cats make up the difference in speed through the power of abject terror. Since Frelock is the only one to have pulled ahead, they both have his vehicle as their target. (2) Fortunately for him, they both miss. (1) Phantom spiders are crawling through your firing ports! You have no idea why they're here, or how many are on the outside, but you do know that their venom can paralyze a grown dwarf in seconds. Filthy vermin.
Your kittens are now grown.
Stray cat (Tame) has given birth to kittens.SHAD0WdumpYou order your henchdwarf to ease off with the liquor a bit. (5) He considers drinking the extra liquor, but is consumed by guilt and vows never to do so. Then again, who knows how long that will last. You use only a quarter of a barrel of booze this turn. (SHAD0Wdump) (5+1) The elephants decide to keep trying to kill you, but your cunning ploy sends them plowing headlong into the trees! You zoom off screaming, (5) which appears to ward off the many and varied monsters falling from the sky. Who'd have thought?
Frelock(6) You order your loyal henchman Igor to come to you. You have no henchmen, let alone one named Igor, but your belief is strong enough to make your kobold minion undergo a startling transformation. He is now Igor, your loyal hunchbacked retainer. (3) You give him his mission, and he carries out his orders to the letter. Unfortunately, he is not quite agile enough to make it back before you pull ahead. He does have a cat now, but is also surrounded by the phantom spiders currently swarming over Paranatural's vehicle. (1) Oh dear. Yet more phantom spiders have somehow invaded your racecar. How did they even get on here without being run over? Anyway, their venom has an unfortunate tendency to paralyze those they bite. Better not agitate them!
IronyOwlYou have no need to guide your elephants into the trees as they are already going that way! (2) But branches are hard to find. You suspect that there may not even be any branches around here. Stupid forest. Anyway, the kobold remains on its perch and your elephants (4) eventually find a way out, despite a couple of incidents involving a certain blind elephant and some branchless trees. (1) Said blind elephant immediately succumbs to pain upon finding the road once more. It is now unconscious, but the kobold fails to notice this. (1) The other two elephants trip over the blind one. Stupid elephants. (2) Smelling the blood on the blind elephant and the kobold, four four-armed apes descend upon them both. Stupid apes.
ErrolYou untie the eagle for demonstrating such initiative. (2) You suffer an immediate drop in performance, however, and your vessel slows significantly. (5) Hoping that he too will be rewarded for initiative, your henchdwarf somehow manages to not only remember to light the booze, but also to rig it so that it will explode on impact. (3-3) Initiative does not translate into being able to fire catapults accurately, however, especially from a moving vehicle toward a moving target. It bursts harmlessly several metres from whatever the hell that thing Frelock drives is. (4) Two zombie apes jump on your vehicle, (1) and the sentient eagle tries to seize one but flies straight into a section of armour plating. Ow.
CommentsDear me. You got lucky up until the spiders, Frelock. Those projectiles could have been nasty. Like I said earlier, I may or may not be accepting new racers after the race. I should probably put that in the OP. Tell me if I got anything wrong, I was rather haphazard here. Need a proper methodology.
Course infoTropical Moist Broadleaf Forest
Heavily Forested
Terrifying
2 4 1
S _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ +
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 _ 10
+ __ __ __ __ __ F
11 12 13 14 15
Key
S = Start
F = Finish
_ = One tile
+ = Corner
Bottom Numbers = Square number
Top Numbers = Racers present on that square
StatusesPosition: 3
Boarders: Two stranglers, who have lost initiative.
Iron chassis
Pump engine
4 normal henchdwarves - Henchdwarf Delta has the unyielding power of the Earth. All traitors.
Hammer
1 Mechanism - Likely sabotaged.
2 Cages - May also be sabotaged.
!!Lignite bin!!
Cash: 0☼
Position: 2
Boarders: Several skeletal chimpanzees.
2 Giant Eagles - Some are attacking poor Urist in protest of the lack of eagle treats, rendering the Penitentiary immobile while in the air.
Iron Chassis
2 Kobolds in disguise - One is on an elephant, one is hiding.
Cash: 0☼
Position: 3
Boarders: Many phantom spiders, mostly on the exterior. Igor, who has stolen a cat.
Iron Chasis
Enclosed Cabin with Fortifications
Cats
Cannon
Henchdwarf
2 Cats, 2 Kittens (one cat stolen by Igor)
Cash: 0☼
Position: 3
No boarders.
-Steel chassis - Small gashes on one side
-Spikes(chassis)
-Screw pump engine
-Booze rocket
-Standard henchdwarf - vowed not to steal booze from Shadow.
-Booze x5.75
Cash: 0☼
Position: 4
Boarders: Many phantom spiders.
-Wooden Chassis
-Perpetual motion engine
-Igor - currently on the exterior of Ye Olde Cannony Death, holding a cat. Surrounded by phantom spiders.
Cash: 50☼
Position: 3
Boarders: Four stranglers, all on the blind elephant.
Steel Chassis
Elephant Engine - One has lost both eyes, has a kobold on it, and is unconscious. Other two have tripped over him.
Spiked Chassis
Cash: 0☼
Position: 2
Boarders: Two zombie bonobos.
Chassis: -Iron Chassis-
Engines: -Giant Eagle- - One is sentient and untied, recently bonked on the head. Speed reduction due to untied eagle.
Weapons: -Catapult-
Henchdwarves: -Standard Henchdwarf-
Misc: 1x -Booze-
Cash: 0☼
Author
Topic: The Dwarven Race III - Race Two, start. (Read 19912 times)