Turn 1SHAD0WdumpThe starter cannon fires, and your loyal henchdwarf lights the booze he had prepared prior to the race. A pillar of fire issues from the rear of your vehicle, and you explode off the starting line. 'Maximum power!' you shout, somewhat redundantly. Your henchdwarf goes to grab another barrel of booze. You attempt to find your happy place and focus on the path, but your shout made you all excited and you lack the inner harmony to balance two conflicting emotional states.
wolfchildWith a deafening screech, your eagles launch into the sky! You shout at them incoherently. You have trained them to respond to this, and they pull harder in the hope of getting eagle treats. (6) They must be hungry. You move twice as fast as you otherwise would have. Pleased, you look down below and see one of your competitors laughing as the elephants roped to his vehicle storm forwards. The bastard. You'll show him. You round on your captives, who stare at you with uncomprehending fear. Grabbing one by the neck, you proceed to (6) do a perfect drop punt, launching it over the side with pinpoint accuracy. The other kobold, afraid that it will be next, hides away in a cranny somewhere. Screeching as it falls, the kobold you kicked lands squarely on the lead elephant's eyes and claws at them in utter panic. (6) Its terror lends it strength, and it scoops out both of the elephant's eyes in moments. The beast is blinded, but not quite out of the race. It can still scent dwarven blood, and hear the roaring of various engines. Safe for the moment, the kobold holds onto the elephant's forehead for dear life.
techno65535You snap out commands with great efficiency, and your dwarves step to it with a will. Your pumpers propel you forward, matching the rest of the pack - though not without some effort. You pull in beside the Ramstein. Henchdwarf Delta (2) picks up the hammer enthusiastically, positions the bin carefully, and hits it dead on. It doesn't move. Hm.
FrelockYour kobold helper gives one of your pumps a half-turn, and the great contraption that is your engine stirs. You sit on the starting line for a moment, barely moving. Suddenly, your vehicle explodes into life, catching up to the rest of the racers in moments. It will take some excellent driving to get through without damaging your car, but you're up to the task. The sound of water sloshing about in your engine always helps you concentrate, too.
IronyOwl(SHAD0Wdump) With a terrible trumpeting, your elephants are released from the starting line to bring doom upon dwarfkind as best they can. The bloodlust takes hold, and they collectively decide upon the noisiest target. The Ramstein is dead in their sights. (6) Ha ha ha ha. Ahahaha. Hahahahahaha. Ha ha ha! AHAHAHAHA!
HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAA!Your laughter has everyone suitably cowed, and your elephants are driven onward. However, they are driven onward so well that the lead elephant fails to destroy the kobold that has just landed on its head. It promptly loses both of its eyes. It remains unfazed for the moment, but your cornering bonus has been lost, and unless it tastes dwarven blood soon the pain will overwhelm it. The kobold is also still on its head. (3+1) Your now-eyeless elephant stumbles slightly, but rallies under your magnificent leadership. The Rampage keeps pace with the Ramstein. (4-1) The elephants are not quite able to get close enough for a devastating attack, but their tusks tear a few small holes in the steel armour. At this range, neither vehicle's spikes do anything.
Paranatural'Mush! Mush!' you shout. (4) Your cats seem to understand. You think. You're going pretty fast, anyway.
Stray cat (Tame) has given birth to kittens.ErrolYou stay on the ground for now, since your eagles feel outnumbered. (6) You don't drive them on any less vehemently, though. They keep pace with the rest. (6) In an impressive display of multitasking, you yell at the eagles to load the catapault with booze. After all, they don't understand Dwarvish, and your henchdwarf will get the message. Wait. What's... oh hell. You duck as one of the eagles swoops over your head. You look around just in time to see it, in a staggering display of agility, snatch up a booze barrel and a fuse, stick the latter into the former, drop it on the catapault, and return to pulling in a single 360-degree loop.
You have a tamed sentient giant eagle that understands your every word. Stand in slackjawed amazement? Y/N
(?) The aftermath of IronyOwl's laughter leaves the jungle oddly quiet, despite the seven racers tearing through it with general disregard for their own safety.
You're definitely not alone. There are shapes in the trees. A flash of white between branches here, a glimpse of something red and glowing there.
Careful.
CommentsMan, wolfchild was lucky. I'm sorry to those whose turns weren't all that interesting, especially Paranatural. I'll change that next turn, if at all possible. Aggressive driving has no penalties yet, except the extra booze usage for Shadow. Oh, and I did mean sacrificing
all other actions for driving focus. Shadow was lucky enough to escape major damage anyway though, despite the negative attention. Sorry, maybe I should have clarified that more.
As for the tongs idea, I'll say no. It makes sense, but it only really protects against lignite bins. And you've probably got bigger problems if someone got a lignite bin on you. Plus, being prepared is boring.
Course infoTropical Moist Broadleaf Forest
Heavily Forested
Terrifying
S _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ +
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 _ 10
+ __ __ __ __ __ F
11 12 13 14 15
Key
S = Start
F = Finish
_ = One tile
+ = Corner
StatusesPosition: 2
Iron chassis
Pump engine
4 normal henchdwarves
Hammer
1 Mechanism
2 Cages
!!Lignite bin!!
Cash: 0☼
Position: 2
2 Giant Eagles
Iron Chassis
2 Kobolds in disguise - One is on an elephant, one is hiding
Cash: 0☼
Position: 2
Iron Chasis
Enclosed Cabin with Fortifications
Cats
Cannon
Henchdwarf
2 Kittens
Cash: 0☼
Position: 2
-Steel chassis - Small gashes on one side
-Spikes(chassis)
-Screw pump engine
-Booze rocket
-Standard henchdwarf
-Booze x6
Cash: 0☼
Position: 2
-Wooden Chassis
-Perpetual motion engine
-1 Kobold laborer
Cash: 50☼
Position: 2
Steel Chassis
Elephant Engine - One has lost both eyes and has a kobold on it
Spiked Chassis
Cash: 0☼
Position: 2
Chassis: -Iron Chassis-
Engines: -Giant Eagle- - One is sentient
Weapons: -Catapult- - Loaded with booze
Henchdwarves: -Standard Henchdwarf-
Misc: 1x -Booze-
Cash: 0☼