Turn 7Dwarven Physics Shall Bring You Victorywolfchild(4) You change tactics with regard to your eagles. This time, you exhort them to go faster rather than beseeching them or using some other, more pedestrian method. (1+1) Unfortunately, the recalcitrant eagles summarily ignore your chivvying, magnificent though it is. Whoosh, you go at a normal speed, despite your persuasion and your commands that they go forward aggressively. The eagles seem to realize the hopelessness of the situation, and seem resigned. Oh, right. Your promise of meat was not without conditions, and they won't actually be expecting any. That's good, you guess. More dwarfbucks for you.
Frelock(1) This is getting ridiculous. It's as though the damned spiders don't even want to be forced out of your body. (4+1) They finally begin to chew up your digestive tract, spurred on by your constant attempts to drive them out of this warm, soft, edible new home. It's incredibly painful, and you suspect they're laying eggs in there. Fortunately, you're near the finish and you can go get some dwarven laxatives or something now. The spectators are too afraid to leave their bunkers, but you hear muffled cheers as you pull a lever to disconnect your engine's gear assemblies and coast past the finish line.
You have finished in first place.
IronyOwl(1) You hug your frankenphant's spirit. Predictably, your arms go through him and you fall over. (4) You manage to avoid falling off your vehicle, (3) but are scratched slightly by a spike. That was stupid. (SHAD0Wdump)(5)(3)(4) Despite that undignified display, you are able to make your elephants travel faster through your powers of animal husbandry and whatever other mysterious things you do to them. Like putting things in their food, or rather feeding things to the elves they eat. (4+1)(2+1) Such speed makes your vehicle rock slightly as you turn the corners, but you're fine. Your mad dash actually allows you to catch up to the quarry your elephants have chosen, (2) but again, they just barely fall short of inflicting damage. This seems to happen a lot. The driver jumped out, but the elephants appear not to notice, so he's fine.
techno65535(4) Your rage actually does cause your eyes to blaze. Presumably it's due to the heat generated by your emotional state causing the booze in them to combust. You are able to shrug off the effects with sheer dwarven resilience. You now have ever-burning eyes, and their booze upkeep is minimal! (2+2) Time for maintenance. You bash the wrecked engine. That didn't work. You bash it with the broken mechanism. That did work. You congratulate Henchdwarf Bravo, who had the good sense to hand it to you. The repaired engine is an even more slipshod job than is usual for a dwarf, but it more or less works. (3) All five of you heave the car back on to the road, turning it mostly about. You all climb on. (2) You give the order to start pumping. Your steering wheel and its attendant parts were also damaged in the crash. You can't steer! You give the order to stop pumping, and you gently bump another tree a few paces along. (2) The vehicle is so warped from multiple devastating impacts that you're finding it hard to reattach the thingies. Well, you progressed a few paces, anyway. You can either try to reattach the steering wheel or get your henchdwarves to turn the wheels manually from down below.
As you're pondering, a shadowy figure jumps down from above and hurls Henchdwarf Delta somewhere. (Hammer) Amazingly, he keeps hold of his hammer while this happens. He lands on a familiar vehicle: the Ramstein. (4) You hear screams. His screams. That's a good sign, he's still alive. The shadowy figure stays down here, and you fix him with your gaze. (2) Whatever you were trying to do, it didn't work.
SHAD0Wdump(6) Before you try to execute your daring plan, you'll have to steer around the corner. You feed extra booze into the starboard side of the rocket instead of using the perfectly serviceable steering wheel. Good work. (6) You move extra fast due to your irresponsible use of booze. Those elephants apparently trying to kill you will never be able to catch up. (6) You leap down to the ground as you pass and hurl (Delta) Henchdwarf Delta into your rocket. (techno - 4) He suffers terrible burns, but the
unyielding power of the earth prevents him from being instantly cremated. His hammer is unharmed by the heat. (1) Spurred on by the continual success of your reckless actions, you continue as you were and impressively fail to secure a way to actually jump back on to your vehicle. You are now surrounded by four very angry dwarves, the Ramstein receding into the distance. The elephants thunder past. (techno - 2) You get the feeling that the fellow with the smouldering eyes is trying to do something to your soul, but he has no supernatural powers. You're fine.
Paranatural(2+1) After a few bumps, some near misses, and a couple of distressed meows, you make it back onto the road. It took a decent amount of time, but you're on the road again, barely. (5) You promise Igor a boot. Oddly enough, he actually wanted one, and he sets to his task with a will. (Errol)(2) He scrabbles with a cat for a moment - actually aiming them is hard when they're struggling like that - and lobs one of your cats toward some giant eagles coming up behind you. He misses, of course, and the cat goes flying into the undergrowth. Oh well. Igor taps Reginald on the shoulder and asks when he can expect you to give him a boot. His grotesque appearance unsettles Reginald somewhat. Fortunately, his divided attention is not significant as nobody is attacking you.
Your kittens are now grown.
Stray Cat(Tame) has given birth to kittens.ErrolAUGH TAKE OFF TAKE OFF TAKE OFF TAKE OFF! Alarmed, the eagles take to the skies immediately. A couple of them look around, and you apologize for startling them. The sentient one appears to be trying to make a facial expression, but since he doesn't have a mouth you have no idea what it is. You'll assume it's tolerant amusement. (2) Oh, right. You were going to invoke the name of the God of Blood. Probably no need for that now, everything's going swimmingly. Your eagles roll slightly and yaw around the corner. Yaw. Silly word. You pause to reflect on this a moment before signalling to your henchdwarf. (2) You don't actually know sign language, so you just end up miming the act of loading and firing a catapult. Unsurprisingly, this takes about as long as actually firing the catapult would, and so once you've gotten your message across your first mate only has time to load the catapult. Before he does so, he mentions that he was not permanently deafened and so this cumbersome method of communication is unnecessary. It seems he was only being polite as he waited for you to finish. These minions of yours. What ever are you going to do with them?
CommentsHappened again. Eight days between updates won't become the norm, I promise. Why does IronyOwl keep getting lucky on his targetting rolls? Elephant engines aren't supposed to be this good...
Course infoTropical Moist Broadleaf Forest
Heavily Forested
Terrifying
- - - - - - - 1 - 2
S _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ +
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 _ 1 2 – – – 1
+ __ __ __ __ __ F
10 11 12 13 14 15
Key
S = Start
F = Finish
_ = One tile
+ = Corner
Bottom Numbers = Square number
Top Numbers = Racers present on that square
StatusesPosition: 11
Driver's eyes are on fire.
Boarders: None
Iron chassis - Has a pretty huge dent in it and also has a massive dent in the front. Facing offroad.
Pump engine - More or less works. Not in tip-top condition though. Steering is still damaged.
4 normal henchdwarves - Henchdwarf Delta has the unyielding power of the Earth and is in the Ramstein's rocket being burned to death. Scattered around the forest floor near the vehicle, looking toward Shadow in a very hostile manner.
Hammer - Held by Henchdwarf Delta.
2 Cages - One broken, the other contains a strangler.
!!Lignite bin!!
Cash: 0☼
Position: 8
Boarders: None.
2 Giant Eagles - Promised more food after the race if they perform well, which was implied to be kobold meat. Will descend into murderous rage if that promise is not met.
Iron Chassis - Many decent-sized holes in it.
Cash: 0☼
Position: 10
Boarders: Igor, who has been instructed to help you and is standing guard. Promised a boot.
Iron Chassis
Enclosed Cabin with Fortifications
Cats
Cannon
Henchdwarf - Called Reginald.
3 Cats, 2 Kittens
Cash: 0☼
Position: 12
Driver is on square 11, and in deep trouble from the occupants of the General Lee.
Boarders: None.
-Steel chassis - Small gashes on one side
-Spikes(chassis)
-Screw pump engine
-Booze rocket - Contains Henchdwarf Delta and his hammer. The former is burning. A lot.
-Standard henchdwarf - Called Roland, vowed not to steal booze from Shadow, convinced that Shadow is watching his every thought.
-Booze x2
Cash: 0☼
Position: Finished - First place!
Driver filled with live phantom spiders, who are eating him from within. That can't be good for you. He's also sort of telepathic.
Boarders: Many phantom spiders, well-entrenched.
-Wooden Chassis
-Perpetual motion engine
-Igor - currently on the exterior of Ye Olde Cannony Death. Face is scratched.
Cash: 50☼
Position: 12
Boarders: None.
Steel Chassis - Has a pentacle drawn on it in dwarf blood. Slightly scorched.
Elephant Engine - One has had both eyes replaced with small red ones from a strangler and is lightly injured. One has a strangler's brain and is a frankenphant. The spirit of the frankenphant remains with you.
Spiked Chassis
Cash: 0☼
Position: 10
Boarders: None.
Chassis: -Iron Chassis
Engines: -Giant Eagle - One is sentient.
Weapons: -Catapult - Loaded with a rock.
Henchdwarves: -Standard Henchdwarf - Dashing, shows initiative, has been promised extra booze. Dubiously holds the rank of First Mate.
Misc: 1x -Booze
Cash: 0☼
Author
Topic: The Dwarven Race III - Race Two, start. (Read 20388 times)