Turn 6Weird Time Shenaniganswolfchild(6) Constant fear of attack by your airborne tormentors/servants seems to have had a somewhat negative effect on your psyche. Apparently, it can now hold but one thought, and that thought is
GO FATSER FASTER. (6)(6)(2) Such inspiring focus. Reality reshapes itself in deference to the power of your mind, and time itself goes fatser briefly before speeding up. All speeds are doubled this turn. Your eagles zoom through the air at... well, at a high but not very impressive speed. They weren't too fast to begin with, you see.
techno65535(6) You try to pull a fast one (hee) on the laws of reality. Thanks to the laws of reality suddenly being highly malleable for some reason, reality consents. (6) That's not to say the pump dwarves aren't tired, but their arms begin to go numb from working so hard. That's probably a good thing? Maybe. Anyway, you're going really fast. As in, ridiculously fast. Which is to say, the corner is approaching rather quickly. (4) You realize this just in time. Taking the wheel, you swerve around the corner. (1) You breathe a sigh of relief. That was a close one. You can't imagine anything you might be forgetting. (1+1) You're not good at imagining things you might be forgetting. You plow into a tree, smashing it to splinters and wrapping the front of your vehicle around it. Good thing you invested in this armour. (1)(Pump engine) Because otherwise your chassis would be in splinters. Instead of that happening, your engine is simply destroyed and all your henchdwarves are thrown overboard. Looks like it's time for mechanic-work. (3) You also forgot to grab a cat. But you do notice that one of the many cats which were thrown overboard are nearby. Fortuitous!
SHAD0Wdump(5) You resolve to pass the strangler on to the brigand who scratched your vehicle's paint job. You'll have to do it quickly, as the brigand's Brigand Car has come to a complete stop due to unavoidable engine maintenance. Also something weird is beginning to happen to time. Still, time going fatser has no effect on you, and you manage to get your vehicle to do a backflip while jumping over the Rampage. Roland holds on, naturally, but your interloper falls off. (1) Also the fire coming out the back of your vehicle has a bit of an impact. Specifically, it burns the strangler to a crisp. Well, that was an unneccessarily complicated way to kill it. (5) Unexpectedly, you're going fast enough to have to steer yourself round a corner now. You steer around it. That was straightforward.
Paranatural(1) You threaten to give Igor the boot if he doesn't stop throwing cats. He was just stopping anyway, but he chooses to take your statement of intent literally and start again in the hope of getting a boot. Honestly, he's like a child. (4) You also order him to stand guard. He may be childish, but he remains faithful to Frelock's orders and does so. He stands at attention, and with military precision throws a cat over his head. (4) Meanwhile, Reginald is carefully loading the cannon. The cannon has been loaded. Excellent. (3) Oh. You're going awfully fast somehow, and those trees are looking awfully close. You swerve just in time to avoid damage, but you've missed the turn and are now off-course.
Your kittens are now grown.
Stary cat (Tame) has given birth to kittens.IronyOwlAlright. Time to stop with this spirit nonsense and get down to some non-ethereal necromancy, as well as put your mad science qualifications to good use. (3)(5) More mad science than necromancy. You'll probably just be using the necromancy in place of lightning, since you're not so good at necromancy in general. You won't even be able to bind the dead elephant's spirit. (6) But it stays down here out of loyalty. You're touched. He shall guide and encourage you from here on. Mostly the latter, because he's not too bright.
Maybe you can get him a new body at some stage, anyway. For the present, however, the elephant's brain was destroyed, which is troublesome. No matter, you'll just use the strangler brain that you suddenly came into the possession of. The smell of charred monkey flesh is quite pleasing.
Moving on. You connect up the brain, which is simple enough. It's almost a waste of your talents. You then use your death magic to make lightning strike the electrodes on the prepared corpse. It doesn't count as weather magic, because you're reanimating the dead with it. The bolts in its neck do their work, and the strangler has a new body. Hostility towards you is not a major problem, because elephants are usually motivated pretty much solely by a desire to kill anyway. You should keep an eye on him though, since you haven't tamed him properly. (Errol) All three elephants see a passing vehicle, with an angry screaming fellow firing a catapult and a rather dashing fellow at the helm. They're off! (3) He gets a pretty good head start, and the elephants stay a little way behind him. (4) One elephant makes a tiny scratch on the armour with a tusk, but it's barely worth mentioning.
Frelock(5) Your body is able to purge itself of the impurities in its bloodstream. Venom's gone. (2) You instruct your body to absorb the spiders. This does absolutely nothing, as your body is not a separate entity and you can't order it around! (2) Fortunately, the spiders inside your body are too preoccupied by stomach acid to destroy you from within. (6) You turn the next corner. Your driving skills continue to be unhampered by the debilitating effects of spider infestation. Are you supposed to be going this fast? You don't think so. Hey, you can see the finish line though!
Errol(6) Your fury is a sight to behold! Your scream of rage pierces the heavens with its intensity! It also deafens your first mate. (4) The catapult, being the only outlet for your rage, is duly fired. Of course, you didn't have a target, but Frelock is in the general area of your maximum range, and you do have the sense to aim it toward the path! Maybe it'll hit him? (3-3) Nah. Lands sort of around the time he through the area though. (6) Your first mate turns out to be much more efficient at steering the eagles than you, despite his temporary deafness. You go an extra half tile this turn, which is doubled because time is playing tricks on you. There are elephants behind you, but they are of little consequence for the moment due to your decent head start. They're not too far behind you now, though.
CommentsI'm not even going to bother making excuses here. Also, despite appearances, the fast time thing was not a means of making the race end faster. The waiting list is getting very long. Sorry to those applying, but I don't believe I'll be accepting new people. Making turns takes long enough as it is, and I don't want to up the mortality rate because otherwise money wouldn't accumulate properly and most racers would always be sharply limited in parts.
Course infoTropical Moist Broadleaf Forest
Heavily Forested
Terrifying
- - - - - - 1 - 2 2
S _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ +
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 _ – – – 1
+ __ __ __ __ __ F
10 11 12 13 14 15
Key
S = Start
F = Finish
_ = One tile
+ = Corner
Bottom Numbers = Square number
Top Numbers = Racers present on that square
StatusesPosition: 11
Boarders: None
Iron chassis - Has a pretty huge dent in it and also has a massive dent in the front. Currently wrapped around a tree.
Pump engine - Mostly destroyed. Better fix it!
4 normal henchdwarves - Henchdwarf Delta has the unyielding power of the Earth. Scattered around the forest floor near the vehicle.
Hammer
1 Mechanism - Non-functional.
2 Cages - One broken, the other contains a strangler.
!!Lignite bin!!
Cash: 0☼
Position: 7
Apparently
Boarders: None.
2 Giant Eagles - Promised more food after the race if they perform well, which was implied to be kobold meat. Will descend into murderous rage if that promise is not met.
Iron Chassis - Many decent-sized holes in it.
Cash: 0☼
Position: Off-course, close to 10.
Boarders: Igor, who has been instructed to help you and is standing guard. Pretty much done throwing cats, but wants a boot.
Iron Chassis
Enclosed Cabin with Fortifications
Cats
Cannon
Henchdwarf - Called Reginald.
2 Cats, 2 Kittens
Cash: 0☼
Position: 10
Boarders: None.
-Steel chassis - Small gashes on one side
-Spikes(chassis)
-Screw pump engine
-Booze rocket
-Standard henchdwarf - Called Roland, vowed not to steal booze from Shadow, convinced that Shadow is watching his every thought.
-Booze x3
Cash: 0☼
Position: 14
Driver filled with live phantom spiders. That can't be good for you. He's also sort of telepathic.
Boarders: Many phantom spiders, well-entrenched.
-Wooden Chassis
-Perpetual motion engine
-Igor - currently on the exterior of Ye Olde Cannony Death. Face is scratched.
Cash: 50☼
Position: 9
Boarders: None.
Steel Chassis - Has a pentacle drawn on it in dwarf blood. Slightly scorched.
Elephant Engine - One has had both eyes replaced with small red ones from a strangler and is lightly injured. One has a strangler's brain and is a frankenphant. The spirit of the frankenphant remains with you.
Spiked Chassis
Cash: 0☼
Position: 9
Boarders: None.
Chassis: -Iron Chassis
Engines: -Giant Eagle - One is sentient.
Weapons: -Catapult
Henchdwarves: -Standard Henchdwarf - Dashing, shows initiative, has been promised extra booze. Dubiously holds the rank of First Mate.
Misc: 1x -Booze
Cash: 0☼
Author
Topic: The Dwarven Race III - Race Two, start. (Read 19922 times)