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[Enzo]

So, my friend and I have recently started working on a web graphic novel. He's doing most of the writing and I'm doing the art. It's sort of an adventure/political intrigue story in a modern-tech fantasy setting. I was looking for some constructive feedback...I'm really pleased with what we've got so far, and we've got some big plans for later on in the story, but I think we've sort of written ourselves into a corner and we're not too sure what to do next. Here's what we have so far:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Any advice?

[forsaken1111]

..the fuck?

I don't even know what to say.

[OmnipotentGrue]

The humor is... superfluous. It's overly try-hard and overall just ends up sounding ridiculous, and not the good kind of ridiculous. No offense to the writer.

Also, spelling/grammar.

Also also, sentence structure.

[MrWiggles]

Well for story issues there one solid constant piece of advice.

Outlines. Outlines. Outlines.

Rarely is a story written cohesively without one written out and worked over.

As for anything else.

What in the sam fucking hell did I just read/see?

[Enzo]

Well for story issues there one solid constant piece of advice.

Outlines. Outlines. Outlines.

Oh there's a lot planned out for later on, but the plan for this bit was basically "He saves the iguana people from something. Introduce Anderson the talking Sword". But what sorts of problems do Iguana-People have? It's a pickle. I am thinking maybe ghosts.

What in the sam fucking hell did I just read/see?

Oh, it doesn't have a title yet, we're in disagreement about that. He wants it to be "Temerity : The Overdark Chronicles" and I want to call it "RAY MUSE to the RESCUE".

[Org]

Iguana Problem: Robot Nazis

[MrWiggles]

Well for story issues there one solid constant piece of advice.

Outlines. Outlines. Outlines.

Oh there's a lot planned out for later on, but the plan for this bit was basically "He saves the iguana people from something. Introduce Anderson the talking Sword". But what sorts of problems do Iguana-People have? It's a pickle. I am thinking maybe ghosts.

Planned out is not an outline.

If you had an outline , you wouldn't have constructed a comic where you're in a corner.

An outline is totally different then having it all in your head even though it can be tedious to do. It is however superior to having it all in your head.

[Enzo]

Iguana Problem: Robot Nazis

That's a great idea! I made a possible version of page 7.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I'll show it to my friend tomorrow morning and see what he says. Thanks Org, we might just use that!

Any more ideas are still welcome.

[Org]

In the first panel...is that... 

[Josephus]

Is it just me, or are his balls getting bigger by the page?

He'll have Maddoxian level testicles by the fifteenth page, mark my words.

[Org]

I guess he has a thing for werewolves and iguanas.

[Retro]

Um... it looks like you tried to do "so bad it's good" and got lost halfway.

I have a very hard time believing this is remotely serious. And even if it was... I still wouldn't believe it.

[alway]

The humor is... superfluous. It's overly try-hard and overall just ends up sounding ridiculous, and not the good kind of ridiculous. No offense to the writer.

I would have to agree here.
 THE PROBLEM I SEE IS THAT THE ENTIRE COMIC HAS ABOUT AS MUCH SUBTLETY AS THIS SENTENCE!!!!!
You try to convince the audience the main character is awesome. Why is he awesome? Because you said so. So naturally, the character comes off as an annoying douche. If you want an audience to like a character and think he/she is awesome, do story archs which slowly build up their level of awesome over time rather than making giant neon signs pointing at them and saying "THIS GUY IS AWESOME, ALRIGHT?"

[Josephus]

The humor is... superfluous. It's overly try-hard and overall just ends up sounding ridiculous, and not the good kind of ridiculous. No offense to the writer.

I would have to agree here.
 THE PROBLEM I SEE IS THAT THE ENTIRE COMIC HAS ABOUT AS MUCH SUBTLETY AS THIS SENTENCE!!!!!
You try to convince the audience the main character is awesome. Why is he awesome? Because you said so. So naturally, the character comes off as an annoying douche. If you want an audience to like a character and think he/she is awesome, do story archs which slowly build up their level of awesome over time rather than making giant neon signs pointing at them and saying "THIS GUY IS AWESOME, ALRIGHT?"

...

Why are we taking this seriously?

[forsaken1111]

Honest feedback: Your webcomic is not interesting.