You were torn between going back into the guild house, or going out into the city. It had been so long since you had looked around, so long since you had been yourself, been out and about doing as you pleased instead of furthering the goals of the Enlightened. The Technomancer's guild didn't really hold any appeal right now, as you knew every area you were permitted in like the back of your hand.
The city on the other hand, could have changed a lot in the time you had been away from your old haunts, away from the people that you had once known. Going back to those places wasn't wise though, those people would likely remember that you had been a part of the Enlightened for a while. They couldn't be trusted, they would turn you over to the Clockworkers.
The people you knew, the places you loved, they were all lost to you now.
You were no longer who you had once been, now you were Anxiety. The woman you had been was as good as dead, a figure best forgotten so that the woman you were now could live. This didn't stop your heart from sinking, from feeling less enthusiastic than before over the fact that you were free.
What good was it being free, if you were not yourself?
Maybe you needed to find who you were now, maybe you needed to take a page out of the idiots book and live for the joy of life, to embrace every new experience. You just had to find a point to start from, while remaining smart about how you did so.
You pushed yourself to your feet as you glanced across at the other guild house, taking note of the mechanical men that stood outside it, imposing figures with burnished bronze casing and glowing green eyes. You knew that Eurochkoles had worried that they may be able to detect you somehow, yet you had to wonder how they were able to accomplish such a feat. Maybe you'd inquire about it some time, when you encountered a Clockworker who wasn't hiding behind one of those oversized toys.
You had to wonder what it was about men with such things, the Clockworkers and their machines, the Technomancers and flashy explosives. Did this mean that the smarter they were, the more of their inner child they retained and listened to?
For that matter, did it make Eurochkoles the biggest kid you'd ever met?
Maybe you'd check out the markets and the print shops, see what colour the city bore today, see what sights, sounds and scents you could find. You were going to need money to spend at this rate you realised, a slight smile crossing your lips as you walked down the steps leading from the Technomancers guild house. You were not entirely certain how you would get it, yet you knew you would find a way.
You knew that you needed to keep in the open, in streets filled with people.
You made your way along the street, following the flow of housewives with baskets towards what you assumed was the nearest such market. You knew that if someone did try to accost you here, that you could scream any number of things to get them to back off. The market turned out to be only a few city blocks away from the guild house and it was quite the market at that.
Gaudy colours, booming voices and and strange scents assailed your senses as you made your way into the market. The sound of people trying to be louder than their competitors to attract attention to their wares filled your ears, while constant chatter all around provided background noise to it. The stalls were covered with colourful wares or decorated with gaudy awnings to make them stand out. The scents that assailed you were overpowering, from fresh fruits and fish, to the stink of animals brought here by farmers.
You were starting to see what Eurochkoles meant about loving all the experiences that life had to offer. You hadn't been to a market in so many years that you had almost forgotten what they were like. You drifted from stall to stall as you looked over the clothing that some of them bore, holding them up to yourself as you sighed wistfully, wishing that you had the money to buy new clothing. There were so many colourful dresses, pretty shoes and frocks that you wanted.
You drifted from the middle of the market to the outskirts of it as you continued to browse, not noticing the thinning crowds, engrossed as you were. It was only when someone tapped you on the shoulder that you snapped to your senses, realising that you were exposed in this part of the market as they spoke.
"Hello dear, it's Anne, isn't it?" came the voice of an older woman, who looked up at you curiously, stooped over from the weight of the baskets she was carrying. "Yes, it's Anne, I thought I recognised you, how are you, and how is Eurochkoles doing?" came the womans words, as you quickly sought to place her in your mind.
It was Red's wife you quickly realised, that made you wonder what you were going to say, how you were going to deal with this awkward moment.