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[Jackrabbit]

Well, next time he passes a kidney stone the size of a watermelon, he can make the bed.

[Siquo]

Do you really mean to say that a woman a few days away from giving birth served you breakfast in bed, did all your chores, and "celebrated how you became a father"?  It's not inconceivable, but is pretty extraordinary.

It's the hormones. You'll learn.

Congrats nikov! May your genes prosper! And now: To the picture thread!

[MetalSlimeHunt]

Nikov, a question that just came to me.  You said this on Father's Day -

My wife served me pancakes in bed, let me sleep in until noon, and after a few hours alone in the house playing Company of Heroes I got to "celebrate how you became a father". Afterwards I don't even have to make the bed or a second pot of coffee.

Do you really mean to say that a woman a few days away from giving birth served you breakfast in bed, did all your chores, and "celebrated how you became a father"?  It's not inconceivable, but is pretty extraordinary.

It's conceivable. Some women are very unaffected by their pregnancy. Hell, there have been women who have given birth not even knowing they were pregnant the day before, to the point where Discovery Health made a whole show about it. Being pregnant is not crippling in all cases. Nikov has not lied to us about this sort of thing before, and I see no reason why he would start.

[Nikov]

I'd pretty much been slaving for her over several months, and she decided to pay me back with some of that nesting energy. I had done all my household chores the day before, although I wonder what sort of deranged society you come from where a man is supposed to make coffee, cook breakfast and make the bed. I mean seriously. If the notion of celebrating with a pregnant woman makes you nauseous, don't let me tell you one method of inducing the second phase of labor. Also my daughter's collarbone was broken when she got stuck on the way out. Yes, two children.

I spent the day fixing plumbing and hooking up a new handheld shower for her, in case anyone wondered that I'm not doing anything for her. Would you beleive the washers in that valve were not only worn to nothing and calcified to a fossil, but leather? I've got to replace the whole household's plumbing with PVC over the next few months. Fun fun.

[Nikov]

Got the crib assembled. Good to know my newborn is going to be safely tucked into a wooden box that easily dissassembles and folds flat with just twelve bolts.

[Aqizzar]

Got the crib assembled. Good to know my newborn is going to be safely tucked into a wooden box that easily dissassembles and folds flat with just twelve bolts.

It's not on the list is it?

[smjjames]

Got the crib assembled. Good to know my newborn is going to be safely tucked into a wooden box that easily dissassembles and folds flat with just twelve bolts.

It's not on the list is it?

That's what I was thinking since the fact that it easily dissassembles and folds flat with 12 bolts doesn't sound very safe to me. Not neccesarily the recall part, just the fact that it doesn't sound very safe from the way you described it.

[Siquo]

Could be worse. You could have an antique in the family that even your grandmother slept in when she was a baby, and you HAVE to use it otherwise people will be VERY disappointed, even though if the baby moves too much it creaks and groans and looks like it's going to fall apart at any moment...

[Funk]

well Congratulations and good luck.

[sonerohi]

Could be worse. You could have an antique in the family that even your grandmother slept in when she was a baby, and you HAVE to use it otherwise people will be VERY disappointed, even though if the baby moves too much it creaks and groans and looks like it's going to fall apart at any moment...

He could just go ahead and reinforce it.

[MetalSlimeHunt]

And when very rich grandma comes over and sees fresh iron bolts in the antique crib? She'd disown your ungrateful ass in a second.

[Siquo]

The bolts were actually quite sturdy, even if they were bent. The thread in the wood was all gone and "repaired" by several generations of dads-who-think-they-can-fix-it...

[Nikov]

Actually my daughter's was on the recall list, but my wife said not to worry since we have a little mesh runner that goes around the whole base of it. It prevents so much as a finger from poking through. The gates only caused those gaps when improperly assembled. Additionally my baby is not retarded.

I'm mostly complaing about this Ikea easy assembly crap. Nothing is ever made solidly anymore because almost everything is supposed to unbolt into a couple panels and fit easily in your car. And while sure, these are hardwood and they hold up real nice, I still miss dovetailed joints on my cabinets, you know? I have a dresser built like that. It might be a pain to move but its not falling over any time soon.

FakeEdit, Siquo, that sounds like my entire house. I shit you not, someone figured drywall tape was just a gimmick and used DUCT TAPE. And do not make me mention the plumbing. Oh God, the plumbing. Its like a Spark from Girl Genius did it, only in the real world their spark turned into manic-depressive retardery.

[smjjames]

It has nothing to do with whether your baby is retarded or not, the recalls have to do with kids falling through the gap, for various reasons.

The mesh was a great idea on your wife's part.

[MetalSlimeHunt]

If I recall correctly, the mental difference between a normal newborn and a retarded one dosen't begin to show untill about six months. Before that, there ain't much going on in there at all. Baby humans cannot even pass the Mirror Test untill eighteen months of age. Don't underestimate the potental of a baby to get itself into impossible trouble.