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[Ioric Kittencuddler]

The guys who made Facade were working on another game called The Party, which was meant to be about co hosting a party with your spouse and a bunch of over the top characters who were intent on all sorts of crazy backstabbing (most of it figurative) and intrigue.  It sounded really awesome at the time, with the idea of inverting the video game cliche of violence being easy and talking being hard, but there hasn't been any news on it for years as far as I can tell.  Mostly I'm wondering if anyone here has heard anything about it.  As far as I can tell this is the last official update.

http://proceduralarts.com/pressreleases/pressrelease3.html

[Pnx]

The one annoying thing about facade was that it would take a few words and pick up on the wrong ones, like saying "Fuck you" would give you the response "You're so right, we should be focusing more on me". But yeah it would be fun to mess around with this game if it ever came out of the abyss to which it has retreated.

[Virtz]

Shame the successor looks dead. Facade is a comedy goldmine.

[Dervin]

Facade looks pretty cool, I'm installing it right now.

[Servant Corps]

When I clicked the thread, I thought you'd be managing a Political Party in a single-party dictatorship and dealing with intrigue and violence within the party. I'm so disappointed...

[Cthulhu]

Facade is pretty awesome, I want to livestream this now.

[Ioric Kittencuddler]

The Party from all accounts was/is intended to be way better than Facade both for it's normal intended gameplay, and for it's dicking around options.  Apparently you could seduce your best friend's wife and then be murdered by him, or something like that.  Or announce to everyone that you're gay.  Among other things.

[Cthulhu]

Spoiler: Cthulhu's Visit - A Travesty in One Act (click to show/hide)

Scene I - Trip's Apartment

GRACE
Trip, when are you going to get rid of this?

TRIP
What, Grace... this?

GRACE
Yes, you know how I feel about it -- -- (interrupted)

(Cthulhu knocks on the front door.)

(Cthulhu knocks on the front door.)

TRIP
I know I -- (interrupted)

TRIP
Oh, he's here!

GRACE
What?! You told me it'd be an hour from now!

TRIP
No, he's right on time!

GRACE
God... Trip!

(Trip opens the front door.)

TRIP
Cthulhu!!

TRIP
Hi! It's so great to see you!     It's been a while how's it going?

CTHULHU
Good.

TRIP
Alright!

TRIP
Wow,  it's really  really great to see you.

TRIP
Well come on in!

CTHULHU
Yeah, you too.

TRIP
Y -- yeah, come in!

(CTHULHU knocks on the front door.)

TRIP
Uh, it'll be just a sec while I go get Grace...

TRIP
(unintelligable arguing)

(CTHULHU knocks on the front door.)

(CTHULHU closes the front door.)

TRIP
(unintelligable arguing)

TRIP
(unintelligable arguing)

GRACE
Cthulhu,

GRACE
Hi!  How are you?  Oh it's so nice to see you, it feels like it's been forever!

CTHULHU
Hi.

TRIP
Yeah, it's -- (interrupted)

GRACE
H-mmm (happy smile sound)

GRACE
By the way, you look wonderful! 

(CTHULHU hugs grace.)

GRACE
So come on in, make yourself at home!

GRACE
Cthulhu,  seeing you again makes me remember the wonderful times we all used to have.  -- (interrupted)

PHONE
** RING **

GRACE
Oh, I'll get it --

TRIP
No, no no no, our friend's here, we can let the answering machine get it.

CTHULHU
Whoops.

PHONE
** RING **

TRIP
What?  Wait, wait, let's just wait for the answering machine...

PHONE
** RING **

CTHULHU
Alright.

TRIP
Uh, mmm, well, hold -- hold on. 

PHONE
** RING **

TRIP
 (clears throat)

GRACE
Anyhow, Trip's parents... They're sweet people, really down to earth --

TRIP
Uhh, no, they're ignorant, they don't know 'black tie only' from... black bean chili.

ANSWERING MACHINE
** click **

ANSWERING MACHINE
You've reached the fabulous new home of Grace and Trip.  Leave us a message!

ANSWERING MACHINE
** beep **

GRACE
(frustrated sigh)

ANSWERING MACHINE
Travis, are you there, it's your mother, I haven't heard from you and Grace in a while,

(Trip shakes the advice ball.)

TRIP
Sounds good.

TRIP
Hmm!

GRACE
(little sigh)

ANSWERING MACHINE
I'm just calling to find out if you've settled in to your new apartment, that's all...

TRIP
Heh heh,    Cthulhu,  seeing you brings back good memories, you know?

ANSWERING MACHINE
Give me a call if you're not travelling, I know you're travelling a lot these days.

GRACE
Yes, it does.   H-mmm (happy smile sound)

ANSWERING MACHINE
Okay, that's all, bye Travis.

TRIP
Whoa I just realized something!

GRACE
What...

TRIP
Oh, tonight's a special night!  A celebration in fact!

GRACE
What do you mean?

CTHULHU
What?

TRIP
Uh -- well, tonight is special!

TRIP
Cthulhu,  remember, it was almost exactly ten years ago, tonight, that you introduced us. -- (interrupted)

CTHULHU
When I introduced you.

TRIP
Uh, well, remember how you introduced us almost exactly ten years ago tonight?

CTHULHU
Yes.

TRIP
We really want to thank you for years and years of...

GRACE
Pain.

TRIP
Heh heh heh... Agony.

GRACE
Love.

TRIP
Uh, yeah, love, yeah, love.

CTHULHU


GRACE
Huh, I think I forgot how well you two get along...

CTHULHU
I love you guys.

TRIP
(little sigh)

CTHULHU
You're great too, Grace.

GRACE
Oh... well...

TRIP
That's a nice thing to say, I'm sure Grace appreciates that.

GRACE
(clears throat)

CTHULHU
What's with the bubble shirt?

GRACE
What...?

GRACE
Trip, there's nothing wrong with disagreeing in front of our friend --

TRIP
We're NOT disagreeing. 

TRIP
We're not disagreeing. 

CTHULHU
You're not disagreeing.

TRIP
N -- no, no, and we're, we're, uh -- we're not disagreeing.

(Trip shakes the advice ball.)

TRIP
Uh, don't get your hopes up, huh heh heh heh.

CTHULHU
Heh.

TRIP
Yeah, yeah, I, heh...

GRACE
You know, ever since we got married, Trip is forever trying to get me to buy new furniture, and redecorate,

CTHULHU
Let's have a drink.

TRIP
Oh, yeah, let me fix us all some drinks in a sec!

TRIP
Good news, I just fully loaded the bar, with the real quality stuff... only the best for my guests.

CTHULHU
The gourmet shit?

TRIP
Hmm...

GRACE
So I normally like redecorating... -- (interrupted)

GRACE
But,    -- (interrupted)

(CTHULHU hugs grace.)

GRACE
Oh, that's --

TRIP
Oh, that's nice Grace, I think a hug was just what -- (interrupted)

TRIP
So... drinks...

GRACE
Trip's favorite pastime is to get the blood alcohol content of his guests higher than his golf score.

TRIP
Why don't I make us one of my new drink inventions,

TRIP
I call it Grace's Inner Soul. 

TRIP
It's a mixture of chardonnay, bitters and lots of ice.

GRACE
It's a secret -- Trip doesn't even like the taste of alcohol.

CTHULHU
Jeez, passive-aggressive.

TRIP
What?!  So, uhh, -- (interrupted)

TRIP
Ah,    Cthulhu,  you have  deliciously wicked taste.

GRACE
Cthulhu,  Trip's getting a little carried away...  maybe you just want some juice, or a mineral water?

TRIP
(exhale very tense)

CTHULHU
Juice would be nice.

TRIP
Yeah, no, I'm going to make this drink for us!

TRIP
Our friend is here, we're going to enjoy ourselves, that's all there is to it!

GRACE
(frustrated sigh)

TRIP
Grace, everybody loves my drinks, you know that, don't you?  Everybody!

(CTHULHU picks up the advice ball.)

(The advice ball reads, "Who Knows")

(CTHULHU shakes the advice ball.)

(The advice ball reads, "Perhaps Soon")

GRACE
Well, of course Trip, after all, you got enough practice when you were a real bartender.

(CTHULHU puts down the advice ball.)

TRIP
What?

GRACE
In college, you were a bartender.

TRIP
How do you know about that?

GRACE
Oh I know you were trying to keep it a big secret, but... one time my friends and I went slumming off-campus to some crappy bar in the sticks, and we saw you there.

TRIP
Oh, that's great.

TRIP
Uhh, you're driving me insane!

GRACE
Ahh, no, I'm the one going insane!

GRACE
Your big bartender secret...

GRACE
I wish you would just be yourself!  Ever since I've known you, you resist just being yourself! 

CTHULHU
Man, I need a drink.

TRIP
Cthulhu,  wait, I can't fix you a drink right now!

TRIP
(little impatient sigh)   -- (interrupted)

CTHULHU
Fine.

TRIP
Huh?  What are you saying to me?

TRIP
Goddamn more real...

CTHULHU
I'm thirsty...

GRACE
Alright, yeah, fine... -- (interrupted)

GRACE
Alright, you know what,     Cthulhu,

GRACE
I need to ask you something.

TRIP
Grace --

GRACE
Trip, let me ask our guest a question.

CTHULHU
Ask away.

GRACE
Cthulhu,  yes or no...

GRACE
If there was a thing about yourself you didn't like, but your husband or wife likes it, is it still okay to hide it?

TRIP
What?

CTHULHU
No.

GRACE
I mean, if your -- (interrupted)

TRIP
What...?!

TRIP
Oh, alright... yeah...

CTHULHU
It's not okay to hide things.

TRIP
Grace, you won't let me be who I want to be!  Who -- who I am!  This is who I am now!  Goddammit!

GRACE
Oh, I can't believe...!

GRACE
Uhh!  Yeah, good, get out of my sight!

GRACE
I can't take you anymore!

GRACE
Goddammit!

CTHULHU
It's gonna be okay.

GRACE
uhh! -- (interrupted)

GRACE
What are you saying?  What?

(CTHULHU kisses grace.)

TRIP
Grace, what the hell are you saying about me in there?

GRACE
What do you care?

GRACE
Hey, stop it, goddamn it!

TRIP
What? Are you talking about me in there? -- (interrupted)

(CTHULHU hugs grace.)

GRACE
I wasn't talking about you!

GRACE
Cthulhu,  I can't believe you have to see this...

GRACE
uhh...

CTHULHU
I understand.

TRIP
Cthulhu,  from what you said before, about marriage... I think we've already learned something about -- (interrupted)

(CTHULHU picks up a trinket 1.)

GRACE
All this stuff...  mmm... Having all this money makes us so happy.  We're so happy, aren't we Trip?

CTHULHU
Is this a dildo?

TRIP
Jesus,     Cthulhu,  you keep obsessing about Grace's stuff, you know that?   (frustrated sigh)

(CTHULHU puts down a trinket 1.)

CTHULHU
It's a nice setup.

TRIP
Let's keep talking about Grace.

GRACE
Damn it, Trip, you and my parents are always planning these stupid trips I have to go on.. -- (interrupted)

TRIP
They're vacations! Expensive ones at that! -- (interrupted)

(CTHULHU picks up the red wine bottle.)

TRIP
Cthulhu,  does it look like I want to fix you drinks right now?

CTHULHU
Yeah, it does!

TRIP
Look, let's talk about us both, not just one of us. -- (interrupted)

(CTHULHU kisses trip.)

TRIP
Alright,    Cthulhu,  that's it, you've got to leave.

(CTHULHU puts down the red wine bottle.)

TRIP
Cthulhu,  Jesus, we've had enough, you've got to go.

CTHULHU
No!

CTHULHU
I'm not leaving.

(CTHULHU sits on the couch.)

CTHULHU
What's with the cold shoulder?

(CTHULHU gets up from the couch.)

CTHULHU
Hi.

CTHULHU
What?!

CTHULHU
Don't give me that look.

(CTHULHU sits on the couch.)

(CTHULHU gets up from the couch.)

(CTHULHU comforts grace.)

(CTHULHU comforts grace.)

(CTHULHU hugs grace.)

(CTHULHU comforts grace.)

CTHULHU
You guys can go to hell.

(CTHULHU knocks on the front door.)

(CTHULHU opens the front door.)

(CTHULHU knocks on the front door.)

(CTHULHU knocks on the front door.)

(CTHULHU knocks on the front door.)

(CTHULHU knocks on the front door.)

(CTHULHU knocks on the front door.)

TRIP
Why can't... uhh...

(CTHULHU knocks on the front door.)

(CTHULHU knocks on the front door.)

(CTHULHU picks up the red wine bottle.)

(CTHULHU puts down the red wine bottle.)

(CTHULHU picks up a trinket 1.)

CTHULHU
I'm keeping your dildo.

Exeunt Cthulhu

Fin.

[inteuniso]

Spoiler: Cthulhu's Visit - A Travesty in One Act (click to show/hide)

CTHULHU
I'm keeping your dildo.

Exeunt Cthulhu

Fin.

That... that is quite siggable.

EDIT: By far the best quote from the game so far:

INTEUNISO
You should spank that ass. Hard.

GRACE
Sex, sex, sex, why is sex such a big deal?

TRIP
What?

[Ioric Kittencuddler]

You know, I don't think I've ever tried being a total asshole to them.  All this talk of Facade just make me wish there was any info at all on The Party.  I wonder if I could email the guys in charge or something and ask them personally...

[Cheddarius]

Man, this is pretty amusing.

[head]

Spoiler: Cthulhu's Visit - A Travesty in One Act (click to show/hide)

Scene I - Trip's Apartment

GRACE
Trip, when are you going to get rid of this?

TRIP
What, Grace... this?

GRACE
Yes, you know how I feel about it -- -- (interrupted)

(Cthulhu knocks on the front door.)

(Cthulhu knocks on the front door.)

TRIP
I know I -- (interrupted)

TRIP
Oh, he's here!

GRACE
What?! You told me it'd be an hour from now!

TRIP
No, he's right on time!

GRACE
God... Trip!

(Trip opens the front door.)

TRIP
Cthulhu!!

TRIP
Hi! It's so great to see you!     It's been a while how's it going?

CTHULHU
Good.

TRIP
Alright!

TRIP
Wow,  it's really  really great to see you.

TRIP
Well come on in!

CTHULHU
Yeah, you too.

TRIP
Y -- yeah, come in!

(CTHULHU knocks on the front door.)

TRIP
Uh, it'll be just a sec while I go get Grace...

TRIP
(unintelligable arguing)

(CTHULHU knocks on the front door.)

(CTHULHU closes the front door.)

TRIP
(unintelligable arguing)

TRIP
(unintelligable arguing)

GRACE
Cthulhu,

GRACE
Hi!  How are you?  Oh it's so nice to see you, it feels like it's been forever!

CTHULHU
Hi.

TRIP
Yeah, it's -- (interrupted)

GRACE
H-mmm (happy smile sound)

GRACE
By the way, you look wonderful! 

(CTHULHU hugs grace.)

GRACE
So come on in, make yourself at home!

GRACE
Cthulhu,  seeing you again makes me remember the wonderful times we all used to have.  -- (interrupted)

PHONE
** RING **

GRACE
Oh, I'll get it --

TRIP
No, no no no, our friend's here, we can let the answering machine get it.

CTHULHU
Whoops.

PHONE
** RING **

TRIP
What?  Wait, wait, let's just wait for the answering machine...

PHONE
** RING **

CTHULHU
Alright.

TRIP
Uh, mmm, well, hold -- hold on. 

PHONE
** RING **

TRIP
 (clears throat)

GRACE
Anyhow, Trip's parents... They're sweet people, really down to earth --

TRIP
Uhh, no, they're ignorant, they don't know 'black tie only' from... black bean chili.

ANSWERING MACHINE
** click **

ANSWERING MACHINE
You've reached the fabulous new home of Grace and Trip.  Leave us a message!

ANSWERING MACHINE
** beep **

GRACE
(frustrated sigh)

ANSWERING MACHINE
Travis, are you there, it's your mother, I haven't heard from you and Grace in a while,

(Trip shakes the advice ball.)

TRIP
Sounds good.

TRIP
Hmm!

GRACE
(little sigh)

ANSWERING MACHINE
I'm just calling to find out if you've settled in to your new apartment, that's all...

TRIP
Heh heh,    Cthulhu,  seeing you brings back good memories, you know?

ANSWERING MACHINE
Give me a call if you're not travelling, I know you're travelling a lot these days.

GRACE
Yes, it does.   H-mmm (happy smile sound)

ANSWERING MACHINE
Okay, that's all, bye Travis.

TRIP
Whoa I just realized something!

GRACE
What...

TRIP
Oh, tonight's a special night!  A celebration in fact!

GRACE
What do you mean?

CTHULHU
What?

TRIP
Uh -- well, tonight is special!

TRIP
Cthulhu,  remember, it was almost exactly ten years ago, tonight, that you introduced us. -- (interrupted)

CTHULHU
When I introduced you.

TRIP
Uh, well, remember how you introduced us almost exactly ten years ago tonight?

CTHULHU
Yes.

TRIP
We really want to thank you for years and years of...

GRACE
Pain.

TRIP
Heh heh heh... Agony.

GRACE
Love.

TRIP
Uh, yeah, love, yeah, love.

CTHULHU


GRACE
Huh, I think I forgot how well you two get along...

CTHULHU
I love you guys.

TRIP
(little sigh)

CTHULHU
You're great too, Grace.

GRACE
Oh... well...

TRIP
That's a nice thing to say, I'm sure Grace appreciates that.

GRACE
(clears throat)

CTHULHU
What's with the bubble shirt?

GRACE
What...?

GRACE
Trip, there's nothing wrong with disagreeing in front of our friend --

TRIP
We're NOT disagreeing. 

TRIP
We're not disagreeing. 

CTHULHU
You're not disagreeing.

TRIP
N -- no, no, and we're, we're, uh -- we're not disagreeing.

(Trip shakes the advice ball.)

TRIP
Uh, don't get your hopes up, huh heh heh heh.

CTHULHU
Heh.

TRIP
Yeah, yeah, I, heh...

GRACE
You know, ever since we got married, Trip is forever trying to get me to buy new furniture, and redecorate,

CTHULHU
Let's have a drink.

TRIP
Oh, yeah, let me fix us all some drinks in a sec!

TRIP
Good news, I just fully loaded the bar, with the real quality stuff... only the best for my guests.

CTHULHU
The gourmet shit?

TRIP
Hmm...

GRACE
So I normally like redecorating... -- (interrupted)

GRACE
But,    -- (interrupted)

(CTHULHU hugs grace.)

GRACE
Oh, that's --

TRIP
Oh, that's nice Grace, I think a hug was just what -- (interrupted)

TRIP
So... drinks...

GRACE
Trip's favorite pastime is to get the blood alcohol content of his guests higher than his golf score.

TRIP
Why don't I make us one of my new drink inventions,

TRIP
I call it Grace's Inner Soul. 

TRIP
It's a mixture of chardonnay, bitters and lots of ice.

GRACE
It's a secret -- Trip doesn't even like the taste of alcohol.

CTHULHU
Jeez, passive-aggressive.

TRIP
What?!  So, uhh, -- (interrupted)

TRIP
Ah,    Cthulhu,  you have  deliciously wicked taste.

GRACE
Cthulhu,  Trip's getting a little carried away...  maybe you just want some juice, or a mineral water?

TRIP
(exhale very tense)

CTHULHU
Juice would be nice.

TRIP
Yeah, no, I'm going to make this drink for us!

TRIP
Our friend is here, we're going to enjoy ourselves, that's all there is to it!

GRACE
(frustrated sigh)

TRIP
Grace, everybody loves my drinks, you know that, don't you?  Everybody!

(CTHULHU picks up the advice ball.)

(The advice ball reads, "Who Knows")

(CTHULHU shakes the advice ball.)

(The advice ball reads, "Perhaps Soon")

GRACE
Well, of course Trip, after all, you got enough practice when you were a real bartender.

(CTHULHU puts down the advice ball.)

TRIP
What?

GRACE
In college, you were a bartender.

TRIP
How do you know about that?

GRACE
Oh I know you were trying to keep it a big secret, but... one time my friends and I went slumming off-campus to some crappy bar in the sticks, and we saw you there.

TRIP
Oh, that's great.

TRIP
Uhh, you're driving me insane!

GRACE
Ahh, no, I'm the one going insane!

GRACE
Your big bartender secret...

GRACE
I wish you would just be yourself!  Ever since I've known you, you resist just being yourself! 

CTHULHU
Man, I need a drink.

TRIP
Cthulhu,  wait, I can't fix you a drink right now!

TRIP
(little impatient sigh)   -- (interrupted)

CTHULHU
Fine.

TRIP
Huh?  What are you saying to me?

TRIP
Goddamn more real...

CTHULHU
I'm thirsty...

GRACE
Alright, yeah, fine... -- (interrupted)

GRACE
Alright, you know what,     Cthulhu,

GRACE
I need to ask you something.

TRIP
Grace --

GRACE
Trip, let me ask our guest a question.

CTHULHU
Ask away.

GRACE
Cthulhu,  yes or no...

GRACE
If there was a thing about yourself you didn't like, but your husband or wife likes it, is it still okay to hide it?

TRIP
What?

CTHULHU
No.

GRACE
I mean, if your -- (interrupted)

TRIP
What...?!

TRIP
Oh, alright... yeah...

CTHULHU
It's not okay to hide things.

TRIP
Grace, you won't let me be who I want to be!  Who -- who I am!  This is who I am now!  Goddammit!

GRACE
Oh, I can't believe...!

GRACE
Uhh!  Yeah, good, get out of my sight!

GRACE
I can't take you anymore!

GRACE
Goddammit!

CTHULHU
It's gonna be okay.

GRACE
uhh! -- (interrupted)

GRACE
What are you saying?  What?

(CTHULHU kisses grace.)

TRIP
Grace, what the hell are you saying about me in there?

GRACE
What do you care?

GRACE
Hey, stop it, goddamn it!

TRIP
What? Are you talking about me in there? -- (interrupted)

(CTHULHU hugs grace.)

GRACE
I wasn't talking about you!

GRACE
Cthulhu,  I can't believe you have to see this...

GRACE
uhh...

CTHULHU
I understand.

TRIP
Cthulhu,  from what you said before, about marriage... I think we've already learned something about -- (interrupted)

(CTHULHU picks up a trinket 1.)

GRACE
All this stuff...  mmm... Having all this money makes us so happy.  We're so happy, aren't we Trip?

CTHULHU
Is this a dildo?

TRIP
Jesus,     Cthulhu,  you keep obsessing about Grace's stuff, you know that?   (frustrated sigh)

(CTHULHU puts down a trinket 1.)

CTHULHU
It's a nice setup.

TRIP
Let's keep talking about Grace.

GRACE
Damn it, Trip, you and my parents are always planning these stupid trips I have to go on.. -- (interrupted)

TRIP
They're vacations! Expensive ones at that! -- (interrupted)

(CTHULHU picks up the red wine bottle.)

TRIP
Cthulhu,  does it look like I want to fix you drinks right now?

CTHULHU
Yeah, it does!

TRIP
Look, let's talk about us both, not just one of us. -- (interrupted)

(CTHULHU kisses trip.)

TRIP
Alright,    Cthulhu,  that's it, you've got to leave.

(CTHULHU puts down the red wine bottle.)

TRIP
Cthulhu,  Jesus, we've had enough, you've got to go.

CTHULHU
No!

CTHULHU
I'm not leaving.

(CTHULHU sits on the couch.)

CTHULHU
What's with the cold shoulder?

(CTHULHU gets up from the couch.)

CTHULHU
Hi.

CTHULHU
What?!

CTHULHU
Don't give me that look.

(CTHULHU sits on the couch.)

(CTHULHU gets up from the couch.)

(CTHULHU comforts grace.)

(CTHULHU comforts grace.)

(CTHULHU hugs grace.)

(CTHULHU comforts grace.)

CTHULHU
You guys can go to hell.

(CTHULHU knocks on the front door.)

(CTHULHU opens the front door.)

(CTHULHU knocks on the front door.)

(CTHULHU knocks on the front door.)

(CTHULHU knocks on the front door.)

(CTHULHU knocks on the front door.)

(CTHULHU knocks on the front door.)

TRIP
Why can't... uhh...

(CTHULHU knocks on the front door.)

(CTHULHU knocks on the front door.)

(CTHULHU picks up the red wine bottle.)

(CTHULHU puts down the red wine bottle.)

(CTHULHU picks up a trinket 1.)

CTHULHU
I'm keeping your dildo.

Exeunt Cthulhu

Fin.

I cried.

edit: trip is such a dick

[x2yzh9]

Yea, trips the biggest dick in dickland. Seriously.

[Ioric Kittencuddler]

Now if only he were attached to the front of his own pelvis their marriage might go a little bit more smoothly...

[Akura]

Here's one where I said absolutely nothing.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

GRACE
Trip, when are you going to get rid of this?

TRIP
What, Grace... this?

GRACE
Yes, you know how I feel about it --

TRIP
I know I know I'll do it right now, alright?!

GRACE
You know I've had to ask you about this several --

TRIP
Get off my back!  I'll get rid of it in just a minute!

GRACE
Fine, Trip... fine...

(Trip opens the front door.)

TRIP
Akura!!

TRIP
Hey!  I thought I heard someone out here! Great to see you!  It's been a while, how's it going?

TRIP
Well let's not talk out here!

TRIP
Come on in!

TRIP
Uh, I'll -- I'll go get Grace...

TRIP
(unintelligable arguing)

TRIP
(unintelligable arguing)

TRIP
(unintelligable arguing)

GRACE
Akura,

GRACE
Hi!  How are you?  I'm so happy to see you after so long!

TRIP
Yeah, it's been too long.

GRACE
By the way, you look fabulous!

GRACE
Well, come on in, make yourself at home!

TRIP
Huh, I'll close the door. 

GRACE
Well, so, make yourself at home...

(Trip closes the front door.)

TRIP
Heh heh,    Akura,  -- (interrupted)

PHONE
** RING **

TRIP
Oh, I'll get it --

GRACE
No, no, we have a guest, we can let the answering machine pick it up.

PHONE
** RING **

TRIP
Grace, no, I want --

GRACE
Trip, please dear, don't be rude.

GRACE
It's probably just the execs at work inviting you to another one of your precious 'high class poker games'.

PHONE
** RING **

PHONE
** RING **

TRIP
(frustrated sigh)

ANSWERING MACHINE
** click **

ANSWERING MACHINE
You've reached the fabulous new home of Grace and Trip.  Leave us a message!

ANSWERING MACHINE
** beep **

ANSWERING MACHINE
Grace, this is your father, I thought I'd call to see how my lovely daughter is doing.

TRIP
Oh, it's your parents!  I'll get it --

GRACE
Trip, Trip, please, I don't want to talk to them right now...

TRIP
I want to say hello --

GRACE
No no, Trip, we're entertaining a friend in our new apartment...

ANSWERING MACHINE
I want you and Trip to come up to the house this weekend, your mother and I are throwing a party for a senior VP at the firm, and you should be there.

GRACE
the last thing I want to do is talk to my parents.

TRIP
Well, Grace's parents... They're something else, really classy people --

ANSWERING MACHINE
Oh, and be sure to arrive early, I want to talk to you about this business about why you won't be attending your mother's Christmas Eve gala.

GRACE
Uhh, no, they're impossible, they're always expecting me to act like the dutiful daughter, it's so annoying.

ANSWERING MACHINE
(clear throat) So, that's all.  Uh, goodbye.

TRIP
(frustrated sigh)

GRACE
So,    Akura,  I'm hoping you can help me understand where I went wrong with my new decorating, ha ha. 

TRIP
Oh, Grace, let's not do that.

GRACE
(little sigh) You know, everybody says the view from our balcony is fantastic...

TRIP
Yeah, it really makes you feel like you've made it.

GRACE
but I'd really rather see some trees or something... a natural green would enhance the colors of the room so much better.

TRIP
uhh...

TRIP
See Grace, no one is complaining about your decorating, there's nothing wrong with it!

GRACE
Trip, I can't explain it, but this room is just not working, okay?  I'm going to return what furniture I can, and redo it all.

TRIP
Oh Grace...

TRIP
 (little sigh) Somehow I knew you'd say that.

(Trip shakes the advice ball.)

TRIP
Why not?

TRIP
Hmm!

GRACE
(little sigh)

GRACE
Akura,  seeing you again makes me remember the wonderful times we all used to have.

GRACE
   H-mmm (happy smile sound)

TRIP
Ha ha, yeah...

TRIP
Whoa I just realized something!

GRACE
What...

TRIP
Oh, tonight's a special night!  A celebration in fact!

GRACE
It is?

TRIP
Akura,  remember, it was almost exactly ten years ago, tonight, that you introduced us.

TRIP
Senior year of college!

GRACE
Oh... geez...

TRIP
Remember that?

TRIP
Um, well, without you, we wouldn't even have this celebration.

(Trip shakes the advice ball.)

TRIP
Heh, heh, I wouldn't if I were you, heh, ho.

TRIP
Ha ha, ha, this crazy thing, always giving me the wrong advice, heh.

GRACE
Trip, are you going to carry that thing around all evening?

TRIP
(frustrated sigh)

GRACE
(big sigh)

GRACE
Oh God,    Akura,  I hope you didn't come here tonight to be entertained...

TRIP
What?

GRACE
Listen to us, we're arguing in front of our friend.

TRIP
Grace, come on, it's not helping things for you to say that...

GRACE
Trip, there's nothing wrong with disagreeing in front of our friend --

TRIP
Disagreeing?!  We're NOT disagreeing.  We're, we're not.

TRIP
(frustrated sigh) Sheejus.

TRIP
Huh, I think I forgot how well you two get along...

TRIP
Oh no,    Akura,  I just realized... I'm sorry! 

GRACE
What?!

TRIP
I haven't gotten us drinks!

GRACE
tuhh...

TRIP
Oh this is good because I just bought these classy new cocktail shakers I need us to try out.

GRACE
Trip would try to serve you one of his high class drinks before even saying hello if he could.

TRIP
Why don't I make us one of my new drink inventions,

TRIP
I call it Grace's Inner Soul. 

TRIP
It's a mixture of chardonnay, bitters and lots of ice.

GRACE
It's a secret -- Trip doesn't even like the taste of alcohol. -- (interrupted)

TRIP
Akura,  are you alright?  You've not said a word for a while now.

TRIP
Are you alright?  What's going on?

TRIP
Say something.

TRIP
Alright,    Akura,  that's it, you've got to leave.

TRIP
I'm sorry, but, uhh, I don't know what the deal is with you tonight.

(Trip opens the front door.)

TRIP
We'll be fine -- just go.

(Trip closes the front door.)

(Akura points to the elevator button.)

Seriously, it took them several minutes to stop bickering and notice I was keeping my mouth shut.

EDIT: This program kills my internet connection. That ain't good.