WARNING: VULGAR/CRUDE LANGUAGEMalachite, Mid-summerDamn Burnt Pies. Who gives 'im the right the stab people in the back to work his way up the Armok-forsaken nobles, and then just.... fuckin' quit? I'm taking over and fixing his damn mistakes. I need some way to get recognized though.....
Man I love being the best hammerdwarf in the entire fortress. If that bastard could have seen the look on his face....
Anyway, I've officially taken over as captain of the guard, in addition to overseer. I've got a good squad of 4 dwarves, bringing up our total military to a good 2 squads and 8 dwarves. Note to self: Make sure Kipi stays in his place.
As my first order, I send a miner scurrying to find some way to the adamintine. God I love that stuff.
However, he can't seem to find a way there. Those miners are wimps. They keep complaining about damn lava. But I don't see any lava, damned to 'ell or not.(Seriously, that stuff is hell (no pun intended) to get to. I now ave even more admiration for Headshoots now.)
I've ordered the workshops to all be put in one room. I want to be able to oversee all the work at once, and I refuse to be denied. And I want to make sure those damn slackers get the stuff for my apartments done.
Man, this world rocks. I tell my little fuckers to put all the crap we make in one little spot, and all it fits. Somehow.
OOC:
Here is the workshop floor. Some of it is still being built.
And the status screen.
How am I doing? Do I need to adjust the character? And also, WHY THE FUCK WASN'T I IN THE MILITARY?
Galena, Late-SummerThank Armok for simpletons. Those little pussy miners say the struck adamintine. Only, they're not sure where.
But, with a good bit of prodding, I get the stuff. I immediately commission 4 statues for my solid gold tomb. I intend to be buried in only the finest of luxuries.
Damn those little fuckers. They tell me that they can't make my statues. The need "wafers". What. The. Hell. What is an Armok damned wafer? I send that bastard who told me that to go fucking make some on a death threat.
Why don't those slackers get it? I tell them "elevated solid gold tomb" and what do I get? A pillar. Someone will die soon.
We got a caravan from the tall ones.
Who then proceed to get attacked by those damn goblins. The guards dispatch them quickly enough. Except one, who they meatgod in a very dwarfy way.
(Gah, I've got some beaching to do. And photobucket is being a bastard. Help? Also, Fuzzy, do you want to extract the strands, too?)
And another ambush, but this one is right at the damn front door. The battle was much bloodier. We lost Sodel Gebzefon, Ral Korsakzul, Likot Vushnil along with a good many war dogs. I, myself was heavily wounded. Although I'm making an amazing recovery, my liver and kidney, which were blued out only moments ago, are up to yellow. Those fucking humans didn't come help until I had removed quite a few arms. But it wasn't enough. A few hours after words I died. BUT I WILL NOT BE DENIED!
My ghost takes over a certain "Olin Noramlor".
Snook finally gets his ass over to the depot after obsessively building a chair for 5 days. I literally empty them out, along with 14000 in profit, just to get rid of some of our shit.
END OF GALENA
Limestone, Early-FallArmok damn it! Some bastard forgot to get some booze and just droped down dead.
I get some peace, so I order some more work on my tomb, and an adamantine processing area, for just that. And the OH MY GOD! A farmers gets possesed and he takes a leather works. I'm not expecting anything useful, but hey, more stuff for my tomb.
The farmer is still mumbling about cloth, which he has, leather, which he has, metal bars, which he has, and stone, which there is plenty of. I decide to give the order for blocks, and see if that wont make him happy. I've asigned the craftdwarf who made the first strand the adamantine workshop to make strands, and I've assigned the adamantine furnace to Burnt Pies, the bastard. I've yet to build the forge, because I decree it must be made of pure adamantine. As such, once a wafer is done, I shall have an anvil made.
Fucking slackers. I've recieved almost constant reports of people whining about traps. I tell them if the bother me one more time with that shit, someone will die. The shut up. For now. (Seriously, I've gotten like 20 pages of just this. I've had to disable announcements of job cancels.)
Burt Pies is damn lazy. He has exactly one labor enabled, and that is furnace operating. He has one spot to operate a furnace in. What does he do? Harvest some plants. Asshole. I hate tripping over damn horses and mules. I have them all killed. If we have meat animals, they may as well be milkable. I let the bovines stay safe. For now.
Turns out our little farmer needed some silk. We don't have any. I set the loom to collect some webs. No one comes. I discover that nobody had the labor turned on. Even the "weaver". I fix that. Suck. Some bastardd (I'm looking at you Burnt) sealed up the caverns. Now how the hell are we supposed to get silk? I open a hole and stick a door in it. That'll serve for anything down there.
I finally get a report of some wafers getting made. I set an adamantine anvil to be made. Old-One-Eye gets the honer, as much as I hate that motherfucker. Shortly afer, the possesed farmer FINALLY starts. It was the fucking silk. If he had gone insane I know who would get sent to prison for it. Burnt Pies. Looks like I can untie the dog I had there.
HOLY FUCKING SHIT! I explore outside my *ahem* our fort to descover a trail of blood. I follow its winding paths to discover, to my horror, ELEPHANTS! One of them is majorly wounded, and has been leaving the blood trail. The trail starts right around
where the first ambush happened. I suspect when the humans were meatgodding the globin, they saw the elephants, and began bludgening it. It escaped with the rest of the pack. That would explain why the were so late. Now for good news; they left peacefully.
The farmer finishes finally. Shame he was possesed. "Partnerswallowed the Sick Gold" the raccoon leather buckler, worth 22000*. Excuse me for thinking this, but that is the most epic name ever. The actual item... not so much. Worst thing is that it is equipment, so it won't be put in my tomb. Sigh. I can still look forward to using it during my time as a champion.
END MONTH
Timber, Late-FallI get a very dwarfy Idea. I tell the miners to c(h)annel down from the underground lake to the flaming sea, and sea (Hehe sea what I did there? (Hehe sea what I did there?)(Hehe sea what I did there?) (Hehe sea what I did there?)(OK you're probably pretty tired of this.) what happens.
I get a report of all sorts of shit down in the caverns. Woo to the fucking hoo. I also finally track down where all the trap shit was from. I tell them to leave it alone.
The builders get bored, so I send them off with instructions it make room for more dwarves in the dining room.
Huzzah! I've overcome the previous overseers' mistakes by digging down to the third set of caverns, and to my delight, the miners discover ADAMANTINE! Now I can get at the second tube, which I tried to reach earlier. Meanwhile I get one of the many administrators to try and reorganize the instructions of my subjects. (Srsly, wt fuck is a bone farmer? o.O)
Fucking shit. The forges tell me they've run out of gold. Fuck. It seems, though, there is gold along my trail from the lake to the flaming sea. It gets dug up.
I get the miles of stone outside smoothed. I need caravans to get to us.
Ironically enough, I caravan managed to arrive right under my nose. I send a boatload of trade goods. Snook has far too much to do to be broker. I assign a pheasant to replace our little vandal.
Meanwhile, the miners have discovered yet another tube af the good stuff.
The new broker finally gets his fucking lazy ass over to the depot, and he buys everything not worthless, in exchange for our mounds of shit.
END SEASON
Moonstone, Early-WinterThe trader prepare to leave, but I don't really give a shit. However, the channeling to the mag-ma sea didn't go as planned, due to the last bit not getting channeled. Fuck. The miner begins to drown, but somehow begins to swim toward the escape stairs I had dug. Yay for contingency plan. But, being the dwarf he is, he hangs around for a drink. Epic. Then his efforts glean him a whack on the head by a piece of granite. Back to fuck. And he come to his senses, and get to the staircase again. Yay. Repeat cycle. He hangs around for a bit, and then FINALLY FUCKING LEAVES! Salvation! He moves to dig a staircase to get to the c(h)annel squares from the other side.
I tell the engineers to do whatever it is they do with that bridge of theirs that makes stone go poof. Something went wrong. They say it all flew apart. (I'm not sure what happened. The dude pulls the lever, then wham, stone spreads out from the spot. Good thing I had a wall and doors installed.
Burnt's Adamantine Magma Smelter.... built on raw adamantine floors is finally built. Meanwhile, our mayor, who just ended a mandate for bolts, banned export of them. Man he loves his bolts.
END MONTH
Opal, Mid-WinterI fucking hate dealing with floors. I can't build over an unused down staircase, and I cant fill it back in. I end up using one of my precious wafers to put a floor down. I also discovered that we had an abandoned smelter, and I send it on its way to making gold. Production picks up.
The location in which I have planned to build the adamantine forge is ready, yet something stays my metaphorical hand. I decide the adamantine strand workshop must be built first.
I give the order to build the adamantine strand workshop.
And then out of fucking nowhere, a wood worker gives birth to another useless bastard. And outside too.
END MONTH
Obsidian, Late-WinterRegretfully, a miner who had a "hunt for small creatures" task from Armok knows where (seriously, I don't know where the fuck it came from) who I drafted in order for him to escape the caverns but didn't died from starvation. We've also run out of gold. Suck. I'm on the last floor though, so who knows.
One of our wood workers started being a bastard and shouts about how "He's got it!". He heads over to a fucking carpenter's shop and wont let anyone near. This better be fucking worth it. He wants wood and rock bars. What the fuck is a rock bar....? I commission some rocks into blocks.
It seems that did the trick, and he begins whatever the hell it is with 6 solar days to the year.
Damn he's quick. He managed to actually finish before the end of the year. However, it has to be the LEAST impressive artifact door ever. But it's somehow worth more than the raccoon leather buckler, at 40800*.
END YEAR
Granite, Early-SpringSnook's lazy ass finally meets the Dwarven trade Liaison. I ask for wood and food. We've got booze aplenty. I also ask for bronze. We need armor. Steel is expensive, and time consuming to make. I say save it for champions when we don't have adamantine. Meanwhile, I make our Depot actually wagon accessible. I don't think the other overseers *quite* understood what wagons are for.
I finally get the forge in place... to discover we don't have enough wafers. FML
A prisoner died from starvation. Honestly, he deserved it..... maybe.
END MONTH
Slate, Mid-SpringIt's seeming like I'm not going to be able to get four guardian adamantine statues, so I commission a sarcophagus instead. I'll have to do with different metal. I also get the idea to use the uninventive door as my entrance, rather than the gold door I had been planing.
I went to take a nap, and then What. The. Fuck. Some bitch and the bastard are in my fucking bed.
MY fucking bed. In other news, I have some gem windows installed. This gives me an idea. I shall add a star sapphire window.
My messenger tells me that some migrants are making a beeline for the entrance. Among them are:
1 Surturer
1 Lye Maker
1 Furnace Operator (High Master. The force is strong with this one.)
2 kittens (Free. To the butcher's shop with this one.)
3 puppies, claimed (To the kennels.)
1 Planter
1 Miner
2 Children
1 Cow calf
1 Farmer (VERY well rounded)
1 Fish Dissector
1 Glassmaker
1 Horse foal
1 Donkey
1 Carpenter (A liar. Could be useful for a trader.)
1 Mule foal
1 Tanner
1 Gem cutter
1 Craftsdwarf
2 Donkey foal
1 Fisherdwarf (LOTS of skills. Next person will assign him)
1 Surgeon
1 kitten, claimed
1 Cook
1 Cat, claimed
1 Animal Caretaker
1 Mechanic
1 Vandal
1 Pheasant (... with crutch walker
?)
1 Clothier
Total: 22 Dwarfs 11 animals, 3 keepers
Hehhey some more meat.
END MONTH
Felsite, Late-SpringI do manage to build one statue before I ran low on wafers, as I discovered.
Halfway into the month, the damn elves come. I'll still never know how they manage to get a donkey in a cage.... on a fucking donkey.
There is something VERY wrong with these elves. They can fucking WALK ON WATER. I guess Jesus was an elf.
I order our blood brought to the depot, in order to teach the heathens of Armok. As a bonus, the barrels are make of wood. I did give then some gewgaws for their wood. And some cages. Filled with donkeys.
Crap. As the damn elves leave, they bring an ambush with them. We lose two good men before the army rallies.
(WHY THE FUCKING HELL ISN'T THERE A MOTHERFUCKING BUTTON TO KEEP DWARVES INSIDE? FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK!) Then another woodsman, and her baby die. I charge out there, without even grabbing my hammer. I intend to spill some blood. Then what else, but another fucking ambush? FUCKING SHIT! This is too much stress. I give up this job to some other backstabbing noble.
OOC: I'm sorry I didn't get through my full 1 year. It is close to the end of Spring, and I've never had this much stress at once. My only request is that my adamantine sarcophagus is put in between the two statues in my tomb. My person's name is "Urist Mchammerdwarf II".
END LOG
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Topic: Caveravens: Year 3: Fall, 737: Fall to your DOOM (Read 25349 times)