"Umm..it's just bread?"
Are you serious?! Bread is awesome!
And soccer is more watchable than american football, basketball, and icehockey IMHO (when you say hockey, everyone outside of North America assumes you mean fieldhockey). Why? Tempo. Soccer is a lot slower, you can actually see the buildup, the defensive moves, the flank, the surprise position-change in one fluid motion. Basketball and icehockey are too fast to see any of that, and american football is just start-stop-start-stop, quick tempo in short bursts. They're like US commercials: fast and loud. It's what the USians like.
To me (American) the soccer players all kind of run together and the ball moves back and forth across the field, dragging the players with it. It never goes into the goal, it just goes back and forth. It's really not any fun for me to watch. It's really fun to play, but I don't like watching it.
American football is like, boring, boring, boring, really awesome play where someone threw the ball really far and the guy ran like 50 yards and caught it and knocked out the defender with one arm and it was awesome, boring, boring, boring.
Basketball you focus on the guy with the ball, and the defender, and in your peripheral vision you see what everyone else is doing. The ball keeps moving and everyone has to do their job or a weak spot opens up and you can see it all happening. IMO it's the rapid changing of score, possession, and lead that makes it interesting.