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[Jackrabbit]

Gay men hit on me from time to time, and I don't feel uncomfortable about it.

If you do, you probably do have a homophobic tendency.

I really don't think so, and I think Deathworks put it best. Feel free to ask around to see if other straight people would feel uncomfortable being hit on by a gay person.

If you begrudge a guy because he hit on you, then you'd have homophobic tendencies.

[Grakelin]

Yep. You would. Unless you would have the same reaction to a woman for the same reason

[Jackrabbit]

No, you'd still have homophobic tenancies, you'd just be a misogynist as well.

[G-Flex]

That doesn't make any sense.

That's like saying that if you don't like getting punched by black people, you must be racist. You're not racist in this case, because presumably it's getting punched that you don't like, regardless of race.

If you don't like people hitting on you, and gender isn't an issue, then it probably has nothing to do with homophobia.

[Jackrabbit]

That doesn't make any sense.

That's like saying that if you don't like getting punched by black people, you must be racist. You're not racist in this case, because presumably it's getting punched that you don't like, regardless of race.

If you don't like people hitting on you, and gender isn't an issue, then it probably has nothing to do with homophobia.

Actually, yeah, you're right. It'd be homophobia if you begrudged a man for hitting on another man.

Which is blindingly obvious which makes me wonder why I ever thought otherwise.

Go me.

[Vigilant]

To give Grakelin some backup : I wouldn't mind either. I mean I'd make it clear pretty fast that I'm not receptive and they shouldn't bother, but I wouldn't really respond to it much different than if a woman I wasn't interested in was hitting on me. Actually slight inaccuracy, I'd probably note that it's awesome guys consider me worth hitting on too :3

[Deathworks]

Hi!

Just to clarify this: I meant real flirting/sex, that is prolonged interactions. If a guy made any advances, thus proposing such prolonged interaction, I would simply say that I am not interested. That would be all about the topic for me, and no negative feelings. After all, by simply asking if I was interested, nothing has happened yet, so there is nothing to begrudge. Of course, if the other person won't take no for an answer, I would get offended, but that has less to do with their sexual orientation but their obnoxious behavior.

Deathworks

[nenjin]

I don't get hostile when I get hit on by gay men, and I've had it happen enough times I know how I react.

Unless they don't respect my boundaries when I've told them I'm not gay. I'm not comfortable with gay men hitting on me, but I can deal with it. As long as it's done respectfully.

For example, one time I was in Chicago for an Everquest Con. I was walking back to my hotel at 2am, and I passed this group of people on the sidewalk. This skinny black dude breaks away from the group and runs up to me, starts asking me all these questions. Says he's a gynecologist from South Africa. It's odd, but I don't think anything of it until he asks me if I have a girl friend, and when I say no, follows up immediately with "do you want to have sex?"

I stopped and was like, no, sorry friend I'm straight. He smiled and was like "Ok, my mistake!" and walked back to his friends. That's about the limit of my comfort. Had it gotten any weirder than that, I can admit I probably would have gotten hostile.

I don't think that makes me a homophobe though. I've got a gay uncle and a gay aunt, and they're both awesome people. I think the real problem is that gays still get stereotyped as like, having no self control, which is BS. That's such a 50's mindset. In theory you should be able to have someone hit on you and be able to politely reject them regardless of sexual orientation.

[Jackrabbit]

Hey, if you say you don't want to have sex and he keeps trying to make you agree, that's sexual harassment. I think getting hostile would be justified.

[smigenboger]

Homophobes probably lash out on what they don't understand, but it's such a strong topic, it's near impossible for them to absorb facts.

[Leafsnail]

I dunno, I've never found the whole "zomg lesbians so hawt" thing attractive at all. The whole thing seems kind of dumb to me, from a straight guy POV.

...Sorry, you lost me at "lesbians".

Gay men hit on me from time to time, and I don't feel uncomfortable about it.

If you do, you probably do have a homophobic tendency.

I sortof see what you mean - you can take it as a compliment .

[Mfbrew]

In countries like the US, many people (especially older people) associate Homosexuality with aids, pedophilia, etc (even if it's unfounded).

Younger males are more likely to balk at homosexuality to gain peer approval. 

Women are sometimes threatened by male homosexuality and bisexuality because of fears of their own inadequacy and of losing the strategic bargaining power of sex.

Some people are just repulsed by the sight of a man acting effeminate or vice versa - uncanny valley type of stuff.

Gay culture alienates a lot of people with the parades and the leather pants etc the same way immigrant rallies piss people off. 

Etc.

[DeKaFu]

I certainly think there's some aspect of insecurity associated with it. Folks feeling like if they accept it they might somehow become "infected" by it, which is terrifying to them because it goes against their self-image.

I've had that in the past, but with religion instead of homosexuality.

[Eagleon]

I don't get hostile when I get hit on by gay men, and I've had it happen enough times I know how I react.

Unless they don't respect my boundaries when I've told them I'm not gay. I'm not comfortable with gay men hitting on me, but I can deal with it. As long as it's done respectfully.

For example, <story>

OT: Wow, that has to be the most awkward pick-up strategy I've ever seen. "I'm a gynecologist from South Africa. Want to have sex?" I think I'd be extremely uncomfortable if that happened, especially at 2am in Chicago (personally I'd think I was about to get jumped) and I'm dating a dude.

[sonerohi]

I'm cool with people being homosexual. It is just awkward. With my straight friends, I can say make some jokes about who they would hit on and we can do antics that I just don't feel comfortable doing around my gay friends.