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[Nether]

I am wondering, if you withheld information. Would it be a form of cheating? Or is it only cheating when this information regards another person you are intimite with?
Would it also count as cheating if you like someone next to your boy/girlfriend?

[nenjin]

Cheating is defined by the terms of your relationship.

Cheating is defined by actions, not thoughts. Only a total douche/bitch considers thoughts cheating. Since I define it by actions....anything less platonic than hug or a kiss on the cheek is cheating. That includes grabbing someone's ass, hanging on someone and pointed flirting. If your other is truly yours, they shouldn't need to be testing the waters and their own attractiveness with others.

Unless you hooked up with a total attention whore. Which happens a lot.

It pisses me off that we can even debate cheating in the abstract. Everyone knows what it really is, and many try to bend over backward to avoid fitting the description.

[Nether]

Cheating is defined by the terms of your relationship.

Cheating is defined by actions, not thoughts. Only a total douche/bitch considers thoughts cheating. Since I define it by actions....anything less platonic than hug or a kiss on the cheek is cheating. That includes grabbing someone's ass, hanging on someone and pointed flirting. If your other is truly yours, they shouldn't need to be testing the waters and their own attractiveness with others.

Unless you hooked up with a total attention whore. Which happens a lot.

It pisses me off that we can even debate cheating in the abstract. Everyone knows what it really is, and many try to bend over backward to avoid fitting the description.

On the contrary, I'm trying to find out what cheating is and whether I fit into that picture.
If others find something flirting and you yourself have no idea whatsoever in that line. Is it cheating?

[Nikov]

Cheating is when you exceed the boundries as defined by your partner. If she thinks cheating is looking at a girl below the neck for more than three seconds, then that's cheating. There's no point in a universal definition because relationships are personal. Communicate with your partner on what the boundries are and if you're in doubt, stop and ask about it. If her boundries are unacceptably narrow for you, then break up with her.

[Nether]

Cheating is when you exceed the boundries as defined by your partner. If she thinks cheating is looking at a girl below the neck for more than three seconds, then that's cheating. There's no point in a universal definition because relationships are personal. Communicate with your partner on what the boundries are and if you're in doubt, stop and ask about it. If her boundries are unacceptably narrow for you, then break up with her.

Thanks, this is a clear answer where I was hoping for.

[nenjin]

I thought I got that in the first sentence.

If some chick is flirting with you and you aren't lapping it up.....no, that's not cheating.

[Nikov]

The italics were what made my answer better. Also it specifically pointed out it was her call what was cheating. Keep in mind, its your call what is cheating for her. This is a good conversation to have with her. Be all, "Hey babe? I want to know our limits. You know, outside. I can still talk to other girls, right?" And go from there.

[Nether]

I thought I got that in the first sentence.

If some chick is flirting with you and you aren't lapping it up.....no, that's not cheating.

More in the way that I'm a happy type, interested, but uninterested for the rest. Others might get hope though 

[nenjin]

No point in worrying about what others think. What your girl thinks is ultimately what matters, as Nikov said.

And damn italics and their slanted goodness.

[Nikov]

No no, I think he means he's the social, outgoing type, but other girls might get the impression he's hitting on him.

That happens to me a lot. Just about constantly, really.

[nenjin]

Again, why does what 3rd parties think matter? If you're not trying to flirt, who cares! Am I missing something? The only time that doesn't hold is when people say "i'm just naturally outgoing" and they do stuff that is more than just being outgoing.

[taranwanderer]

cheating is just a word. it can have a lot of definitions. if i want to say cheating is inhaling a cucumber while standing on mount kilimanjaro then well that's my definition. if i want to say cheating is a noun meaning a slightly brown pumpkin then again that's my definition. it's just that almost nobody will agree with that definition.
so really, what you're asking is what do most people think cheating is?

[Grakelin]

If your girlfriend is in another ZIP Code, it's not cheating.

[Muz]

Cheating is defined by actions, not thoughts. Only a total douche/bitch considers thoughts cheating.

No, not really. I read somewhere that men are more unforgiving of physical cheating, while women are more unforgiving of emotional cheating. Like if a guy was boning another girl, she would actually forgive him.. but never if he was in love with her, buying her stuff, etc. In fact, some women put "buying expensive gifts for another woman" as worse than "having sex with her". Guys take physical cheating very seriously, but don't mind as much if she has a crush on another guy. I know a guy who dumped a girl after finding out she was raped (not a virgin), but dated some other girl who used to write her lecturer's name everywhere, and photoshop pictures of herself with him.

On the contrary, you have cases like Hillary Clinton and Tiger Woods' wife who forgive them for physically cheating, but not if it got emotional. As some woman put it, "For all Hillary cares, Monica was just a blow up doll."

Not that you should do either of them. Or even that all people are like that. Just saying that emotional cheating can be very serious.

[ein]

I know a guy who dumped a girl after finding out she was raped (not a virgin),

...
What the fuck?
That's horrible.