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Author Topic: Cheating, what's the right thing to do?  (Read 5671 times)

Eagleon

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Re: Cheating, what's the right thing to do?
« Reply #60 on: June 16, 2010, 11:09:38 am »

Why are people assuming the guy will learn nothing from this? We haven't really heard a lot about him. Isn't it better to assume he will, on the off chance it'll improve things? I mean, to say nothing of the health risks, letting the woman hide this stuff for even longer is terrible, in my opinion. If he really can't figure out why things went wrong between them, fine, but most people grow up eventually. It just seems like an excuse to avoid confrontation, and the people making it aren't even the people going into a threatening situation :P
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Master Catfish

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Re: Cheating, what's the right thing to do?
« Reply #61 on: June 16, 2010, 12:19:01 pm »

He's done wrong. Wrong actions need to be punished.

I don't think I'm going to go do something so I'll receive my just punishment.  I'm sure I've been punished more than enough through feelings of powerlessness, sorrow, and jealousy.  If I were to tell him what happened it would be to clear my conscience, and with the hopes that it would better his life (and hers).  I would want to know if I were in his place.  I think part of the reason she won't tell him is because she's so ashamed of doing such a hurtful thing. 

I guess what I probably should do is talk to her about it, and try to convince her to tell him.  Unfortunately, when I ended things with her we agreed that a zero-contact policy was a good idea.  I'm not sure talking to her would be good for my emotions at this point anyway.

Why are people assuming the guy will learn nothing from this? We haven't really heard a lot about him.

I don't really know the guy personally, so I don't know if he will learn anything from it.  All I know about him is that he is a Free Mason, diabetic, and has a very good memory.  I knew him as a child, but I shouldn't judge who he is now by who he was.  Except that I know he did not have a good upbringing.
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smigenboger

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Re: Cheating, what's the right thing to do?
« Reply #62 on: June 16, 2010, 01:15:44 pm »

Zero contact was a good idea. If you can handle letting all of those loose ends go, all the better to you.

I'd recommend a fling or a night out with the guys to get over her, then move on.
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ProZocK

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Re: Cheating, what's the right thing to do?
« Reply #63 on: June 16, 2010, 01:19:21 pm »

He's done wrong. Wrong actions need to be punished.

Sure they do. The question is, why does getting socked in the face is the punishment for that? How is that, like you said, atonement?
Its more important for him to LEARN from his mistake. No one is perfect, everyone will make screw up on time or another. Getting their faces punched from it will not really make them learn anything other than "ouch this hurts".

And Catfish, stand by your zero contact policy. To both of them. Its honestly the best idea.
« Last Edit: June 16, 2010, 01:21:51 pm by ProZocK »
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sonerohi

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Re: Cheating, what's the right thing to do?
« Reply #64 on: June 16, 2010, 06:37:13 pm »

New idea: C4.
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DJ

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Re: Cheating, what's the right thing to do?
« Reply #65 on: June 16, 2010, 08:11:21 pm »

The punch is just good ol' Pavlovian training.
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ProZocK

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Re: Cheating, what's the right thing to do?
« Reply #66 on: June 17, 2010, 10:45:00 am »

The punch is just good ol' Pavlovian training.

Good old pavlovian training works wonders, but the most logical behavioral response would be "guess i shouldn't tell when I cheat", not "guess i shouldn't cheat" if he is the one to actually walk to the guy and do what you said.
Getting punched int he face by your own volition will not teach you not to cheat. It will teach you not to get punched by your own choice.
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I always imagine dwarves to train as if fighting pretend monsters. "It's a carp, use your sword!" "Shwish! Shwoosh! It's dead!" "Oh no, it's a giant cave spider! Noo, it's got me! Kill it with your axe!" "Swoosh, I cut off its head!"
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