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[Master Catfish]

Learn to keep the soldier in the barracks, man!!!

A soldier has got to see action sometimes.   Well said, though. 

Part of me would welcome a confrontation with him, but I know it would make me look bad.  I've been training in various martial arts since I started high school.  He's out of shape and not a fighter.  He knows that I'd have a much better chance in a fight, and I believe he may be afraid of me.  So I'm not too worried about getting punched in the face or having my legs broken.  Plus, I know he doesn't have any good friends that will do these things for him.  Whereas I'm sure some of my friends would happily take vengeance on my behalf. 

I still haven't asked my RL buddies weather or not I should tell him, but they'd have to put up a pretty good argument for why I should to convince me.  It seems advice from strangers can be quite helpful, since most of you didn't bother to sugar-coat your words. 

[ProZocK]

While I'm sure it's mostly jealous spite, there are some real reasons that I don't like him too.  If I start, I will probably rant for a few pages, however.  A lot of it has do do with the deceptive and controlling manner he has.  I know for a fact that she has tried to leave him on many occasions, but each time he managed to guilt trip her into staying with him.  Anyway, he has a rather detestable character, and I do honestly hate him.  That's saying a lot, because in the past I have never been able to hold a grudge for more than 30 minutes.

Do you know him personally?
Because honestly man, acting in a way to guilt trip someone into staying with you is just pathetic, you should feel sorry for the guy, not mad. As long as he keeps doing that, he will only keep getting cheated on, because he is blackmailing someone to stay with him.
Just forget about the guy. There is nothing you can do to change the way he is, that's something he will have to do for himself, and he will probably have to suffer a lot to do it.
By the way you describe him, even if you told him what happened he would probably only get mad at you and keep dating the same girl.

[nenjin]

Part of me would welcome a confrontation with him, but I know it would make me look bad.  I've been training in various martial arts since I started high school.  He's out of shape and not a fighter.  He knows that I'd have a much better chance in a fight, and I believe he may be afraid of me.  So I'm not too worried about getting punched in the face or having my legs broken.  Plus, I know he doesn't have any good friends that will do these things for him.  Whereas I'm sure some of my friends would happily take vengeance on my behalf.

I'm sorry, but I'm going to call you out here. This dude hasn't done anything to you personally. If he's been abusing the girl, that's one thing. But as it reads, you're just looking for an outlet for your hostility. The fact it's confused with feeling like you owe him some truth is just a recipe for ugliness.

You: Your GF and I have been cheating for a while, I thought you should know.
Him: WTF.
You: But you seriously had it coming.
Him: Fuck you!
You: Oh, fuck me huh?

*punch punch punch*

The more you talk about your motivations, the more I'm convinced you just need to stay the fuck away from both of them. The fact you could ostensibly dominate this guy in a fight is also a reason you need to exercise some self control.

[x2yzh9]

Que spiderman movie thingy.
"With great power comes great responsibility."

[Master Catfish]

I'm sorry, but I'm going to call you out here. This dude hasn't done anything to you personally. If he's been abusing the girl, that's one thing. But as it reads, you're just looking for an outlet for your hostility. The fact it's confused with feeling like you owe him some truth is just a recipe for ugliness.

Haha, yeah.  I know it'd just be an outlet for anger, which is why I'd tell him through an email.  I don't even know when I would see him anyway, since we have pretty different lives.  Then again, it might be just as satisfying to start a fight with him and not fight back.  I guess that was a bit of a ramble, though.  I'm sure I won't do that.

Because honestly man, acting in a way to guilt trip someone into staying with you is just pathetic, you should feel sorry for the guy, not mad. As long as he keeps doing that, he will only keep getting cheated on, because he is blackmailing someone to stay with him.

I'm mad at him because he's doing it to someone I care about. 

[smigenboger]

I was friends with a complete slut (not saying this of your situation, just an example) who would date generally bad, 'cool' people, and cheat on them, then get cheated on, and get really upset and unhappy, break up with the 'bad' kid, and then repeat the process six or seven times a year. Granted it was in high school, I knew her for years, and it didn't really matter what I'd say, she'd go out and subject herself to it over and over.

What I'm trying to say is even if you said something about it, don't you think that girl is going to just go out and find another person just like that guy, date him for a while, and then cheat on him, and won't the guy just find another girl and continue to be a piece of shit?

[eerr]

Catfish, remind yourself everyday about loyalty everyday.

[DJ]

What I'm trying to say is even if you said something about it, don't you think that girl is going to just go out and find another person just like that guy, date him for a while, and then cheat on him, and won't the guy just find another girl and continue to be a piece of shit?

None of that matters. Confessing your errors is still the morally right thing.

[nenjin]

There's nothing moral about carrying a cross for your own mistakes. That's just self-indulgent guilt.

[DJ]

But there's something immoral about hiding it.

[smigenboger]

'moral' is a relative term. This could turn into a morality vs least harm done case. As in, telling them is the moral thing to do, but telling them will also cause unneeded suffering, which could also be considered immoral. Then you add factors of personal revenge, or atonement, or just wanting the situation to stop, etc. I'd guess you might as well be happy over the whole thing, and not let it linger. I mean, hey you scored with someone you like, and you gave them a break from them forcing themselves to be with someone they don't like, so it may have been a good thing all along.

[DJ]

He's asking what's the right thing to do, not what's the wrong thing to do. In your generic code of chivalry you're required to atone for any mistakes you make, and getting punched in the face is a perfect atonement for his crime.

[smigenboger]

I think 'two wrongs don't make a right', kind of like at work I'm not allowed to sit on a stool while I work even if I could, because everyone else has to stand (except for the managers), I don't see why I'd have to hurt my back and shoulders just because someone else has to.

There's no sense harming the other person and getting 'punched in the face' to 'atone' for what he did. If it's a matter of morality, you could say he was doing her a favor from helping that girl escape from a shitty relationship. It's all relative.

[ProZocK]

I'm mad at him because he's doing it to someone I care about.

I understand, but its not his fault she falls for it. He tried it and it worked. Does it sucks to her, yes, by her own fault. Dos it sucks for him( when he finds out he is being cheated on), yes, by his own fault. Does it sucks to you? Of cours, by THEIR fault.
You are painting me the image of a person in a sad situation, that thinks he is doing the right thing and is only get screwed over by it.
Like I said, its something he will have to learn by himslef, telling him right now would probably not make him change for the better, but hating on him for it is hating him by his weakness as well as puting the blame of the situation only on him, when the girl has as much guilt on it.

He's asking what's the right thing to do, not what's the wrong thing to do. In your generic code of chivalry you're required to atone for any mistakes you make, and getting punched in the face is a perfect atonement for his crime.

Its easy to deal in absolutes my friend. Life is never that easy. The right thing to do usually changes from situation to situation.
How does him getting punched in the face equals atonnment? What kind of good can be taken for it? How does that undo any mistaks he did?

[DJ]

He's done wrong. Wrong actions need to be punished.