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[Nikov]

Well then, seek another girl but this time make sure she isn't already found.

[nenjin]

I could tell her anything, and she'd love me for all my faults.  I guess that's why I put up with the obvious wrongness of it all for so long.

When you're capable of forgiving your own faults, you may find you're a lot less blinded by the fact someone will love you in spite of them. I stayed with a girl, even though she drove me bat-shit fucking insane sometimes, because I reasoned that at least she forgave my faults. It took me months to realize that the only reason I didn't break it off with her earlier was because I didn't want to be Alone.

[Master Catfish]

I'd never really thought of the idea of forgiving myself before.  Strange, that.  I'll be sure to try it once I'm in a more reasonable emotional state.

Thanks, nenjin.

[Eagleon]

Yeah, I had been fine with the idea of being alone for some time now, to the degree of passing up a few potential relationships because I liked being independent.  I liked this girl so much though, because she never judged me.  I could tell her anything, and she'd love me for all my faults.  I guess that's why I put up with the obvious wrongness of it all for so long. 

After having a taste of such a wonderful thing, I want more of it.  I don't know if I can the same from other people, though. 

Haha, now I just feel like I'm venting.

The reason she probably forgave you all your faults is because she didn't forgive herself her own. I personally wouldn't put up with anyone that wanted me to cheat on my S-Os. In fact I've called people out on it before.

Unadulterated advice: I'm not going to tell you you're evil or unforgivable. But you did mess up, big time, by almost anyone's standards. Reevaluate yourself. Figure out why. Then work slowly towards changing that. It'll be hard, but the biggest thing anyone has to learn is that they don't have to put up with their own faults. If you know you're doing something about it, it's a lot easier to let go of your mistakes.

[ProZocK]

About telling the other guy:
I know this issue has been dealt with, I just have to give my opinion on it, so please, bear with me.
You have no place on their relationship so you have no right to tell him.
Why is that that only when you believed you wouldn't be with her anymore are considered this? If you care about this man so much, why the hell were you fucking his girlfriend?
Honestly, you either cheat and shut up or don't cheat and consider telling him about it.

About not feeling guilty.
Usually, people only really feel guilty when they are caught. It seems wrong, I know, but when you are doing something that you like, you probably wont feel guilty.The fact that you have never been cheated on (as far as you know, I might add) does play a  part on that as well. You have no real way to relate to the feeling of being cheated upon, so you have no idea on how much it hurts(hint: more than  you can even imagine, believe me on that)

About the broken hearth:
The secret to mend a broken heart is Time and Willpower. You will suffer and it will take time to heal, but you must have the willpower to cut her from your life. Every time you see her or talk to her you are just putting your finger on the wound and opening it again. When you are completely over what happened between you two and already moved on to someone else, then you might be able to actually have a friendly relationship with her, though I don't recommend it.

Sorry if I appeared too aggressive in any way, I am just being 100% honest here, and do not wish to insult anyone. I myself have made the same mistake of the TS, with a married woman even, and swore to myself I would never do it again, so I can relate to what he is feeling.

[Master Catfish]

Why is that that only when you believed you wouldn't be with her anymore are considered this? If you care about this man so much, why the hell were you fucking his girlfriend?

I honestly hate the guy, but I pity him too.  I only considered telling him recently because telling before would have ruined what was going on.  I knew it was bad, but I didn't really want it to end.  But, since it has already ended, that reason is gone.  I still don't think I'm going to tell him, though. 

Edit:  By the way, I really appreciate all the advice.  I didn't expect so much of it to be as good as it is.

[ProZocK]

Why is that that only when you believed you wouldn't be with her anymore are considered this? If you care about this man so much, why the hell were you fucking his girlfriend?

I honestly hate the guy, but I pity him too.  I only considered telling him recently because telling before would have ruined what was going on.  I knew it was bad, but I didn't really want it to end.  But, since it has already ended, that reason is gone.  I still don't think I'm going to tell him, though. 

Edit:  By the way, I really appreciate all the advice.  I didn't expect so much of it to be as good as it is.

Why do you hate him? Did he do anything against you or her?

[Master Catfish]

Why do you hate him? Did he do anything against you or her?

While I'm sure it's mostly jealous spite, there are some real reasons that I don't like him too.  If I start, I will probably rant for a few pages, however.  A lot of it has do do with the deceptive and controlling manner he has.  I know for a fact that she has tried to leave him on many occasions, but each time he managed to guilt trip her into staying with him.  Anyway, he has a rather detestable character, and I do honestly hate him.  That's saying a lot, because in the past I have never been able to hold a grudge for more than 30 minutes. 

[smigenboger]

As a curiousity, how old are you, or if you don't want to say, what's your general age bracket? This sounds like a college-age problem, as this isn't really a high school problem, but sounds like something younger than 30.

[Master Catfish]

Yep.  You guessed right, Smigenboger.

I turn 21 in a month.  I consider myself a little mature than most my age since I've traveled a great deal.  Although I do not think I am more mature in terms of dealing with emotions or handling relationships where there's a lot of emotion involved. 

If it makes a difference, she's 2 years older than me. 

[Shzar]

As a former cuckold, I've been reading this thread with some interest. I remember feeling irrational malevolence towards the other man, even though he had no idea that she was involved with me. How messed up is that? She was the primary instigator, yet I blamed myself and the cuckolder before her. Perhaps that's the emotional tendency, to blame everyone except the one who hurt you.
Anyway, I think you made the right choice, breaking it off. I didn't start thinking straight until I distanced myself from my own lousy situation; then I was alone for a few years, then I met my current girlfriend with whom I am very happy. The whole fiasco was a learning experience; no, I don't blame myself for the cuckolding any longer, but I did learn about relationship maintenance and those sorts of things. Also, that it's probably not best to move in with your first girlfriend at 18.
Good luck to you, though. Give it time and talk about it with your chaps and the heartbreak will subside.

[DJ]

You should tell him, so he doesn't lose an opportunity to find a better girl because he's involved with this cheater. The sooner he finds out, the better for him.

Yes, you will get punched in the face. But you fully deserve it. Just man up and pay the price for your mistake.

[smigenboger]

I was cheated upon by my lover at the time (she was 16 and I was 17, so that really nullifies the legitimacy in most peoples' eyes). It was when I was at my prime in terms of working out, and she was a cheerleader/bellydances (which was totally kickass). She didn't directly tell me she cheated, as she said she didn't want to get too attached to one person (after a year), which could be taken for truth, or could have been a blatant lie. I knew her long enough to know she did love me, though I could assume she probably started growing bored toward the end. But I digress. About a year and a half later, she sent me an email saying she was sorry, and that the person she left me for did the exact same thing to her. Being cheated on hurts, but it kind of comes with the territory of the whole thing, and especially in the high school and college age. If it goes against your morals, I'd suggest you don't do it, but it's more than likely going to happen at this age, so I'd say it's best to stick with flings, or closed casual relationships, but getting serious at this point and time is just asking for trouble.

Of course, everyone is different. Some people do find someone they stay with at this time, and these things can get complicated. Some of my older friends said they found someone special in college, and then got back together for good after that age, though it's not necessarily an excuse for stalking, and a horrible thing to lead people on with, if you don't actually follow through. But I digress.

[Mfbrew]

If the dude hasn't already figured it out on his own that she's cheating, then he doesn't pay enough attention to his girlfriend and it's no wonder she's cheating on him.

(edit: that sounds harsh- it's possible she's just a cruel person too)

That said, you were a jerk for capitalizing on that.  Learn to keep the soldier in the barracks, man!!!

It's like those dwarves that run outside to grab socks...

[tigrex]

Don't worry about it.  Don't tell the guy, and hope that he never finds out on his own and breaks your legs.

Other than that slight possibility, go away triumphant; you had your fun, and so did she.  Any guilt is solely hers to bear, and frankly it sounds like those two were made for each other.