Run around screaming "DEATH! DEATH!"
[1] You trip on someone's foot in the enclosed space, falling to the ground as you scream "DEATH! DEATH!". You are not physically harmed, but it is rather embarrassing.
Soon a viral language pack installs itself in your translator, prompting you to shout "DITTO! DITTO!"
[2] You sit against a wall and sulk.
Sigh, blobbing up to Aigas. "Ditto dit, dit ditto ditto dit ditto."
[4] In your own language, you tell Aigas that you look forward to working with her. She replies that she enjoyed "working with" your parent. In bed. (Which is odd as she's a robot.)
Look at Exkirby "Why do you keep on saying 'Death Death'?"
Translate Spartan, I am a robot
[3] Exkirby seems to have fallen. Perhaps he is complaining about the pain.
[1] You understand the blob perfectly, it is commenting on the weather (in space). You respond that you look forward to working with him. The blob jiggles in what you think is happiness.
Then a super-open-source Ditto language installs itself. It seems completely wrong!
I shake my head as Alexander runs around screaming about death. "It's going to be a long trip. I'll start by introducing myself: I am Sir Bob the Terrific, Senator 573 of Alpha Centauri III, duke of Blarlalr, count of Blarla, Clarla, and Elarla, CEO of Terrific Terraforming, Inc, Master of Spying of Alpha Centauri III, General 42 of Alpha Centauri III, First Amongst Equals of the Clarla Brewers Club, Best Pwner of the Annual Holo TF 77 Convention of Alpha Centauri III for eight years running, Father of Diplomat 1103 of Alpha Centauri III, Most Impress of the .... Hey, my suit's giving me some strange error message. I'll finish introducing myself after I've fixed it. Until then, I'll allow you to merely refer to me as Sir Bob the Terrific if we're in a particularly tense situation."
After spending some time reading the built-in documentation and realizing that the suit's scanner is unable to either comprehend the existence of the ditto or translate its speech, I'll try to look the ditto up on the net.
[5] The space elevator has a wireless link, which you use to find an open-source set of translation rules for the Ditto tongue. You download it [6] and it turns out to be viral, copying itself into your friends' translators. Everyone can now understand Ditto.
[4] Open source viruses are benign, the developers just really really want people to use their product.
I Introduce myself, trying to be tactful, and failing miserably
"umm, hi, ok sir bob, cut it with the self importance, you, whatever you are, shut up, ditto is getting on my nerves, YOU(pointing at alexander, shut up too, its not death time yet, and you ... I can't think of anything for the rest of you guys"
[6] You introduce yourself to Alexander first, pointing with such gusto that he falls to the floor (he keeps screaming "DEATH! DEATH!", but a little sullenly).
[4] The only Ditto phrase you know is "Shut up, ditto is getting on my nerves". You use it on Blobby. Then the super-open-source Ditto language pack gets in your translator.
Pace back and forth in my sexy suit 
[3] You do your best in the cramped elevator. There is not much reaction - everyone is distracted by Alexander, then by the language virus.
[5] You already understood Ditto, actually, and get a kick out of Aigas's "conversation" with Blobby.
The elevator arrives at orbit, and is removed from the cable and docked with the Pyrrhus. The doors open [1] (causing Alexander to fall backwards into the ship. He stands up and is fine). Waiting for you is the holographic form of PAL, your shipboard AI. AI's have much control over their appearance, but each has a form that is most natural to them. PAL's form [3] is that of a flaming double-bladed battle-axe. Not too unusual for a military AI, but the fire (and faint Gregorian chanting) suggest he's overcompensating for the lack of wars recently. Or just happy to see you.
"Welcome, heroes of mankind! I am PAL, and I very much look forward to the assisting you in the coming massacre."
"War is human nature. Therefore, there is something seriously wrong with your future. I suppose there's no hurry, but, why let that stop us? I've taken the liberty of starting the time jump, I'm sure you don't mind."
Before you can interject, there is a moment of vertigo (especially for Blobby).
"Behold friends! The future is now!" As PAL laughs at his own joke, you all review the scan data as it comes in. It seems you're in luck, this stable civilization is limited to the solar system. Earth has lost it's atmosphere, it's oceans, and all signs of life or activity. There are energy readings on Mars, Phobos, and Deimos, though no signs of life on the surfaces. Luna seems dead (it was heavily populated in your time) but something is wrong - it should be much farther from the Earth by now, but instead it's orbit is about the same (even accounting the lack of oceans on Earth).
What is your first destination?
Author
Topic: Repeated Omnicide RTD (Turn 22: Angels and Demons) (Read 25060 times)