I am sick and fucking tired of my brother and mother acting like children, starting arguments with me and each other because there's only two people in this house who know when to shut their fucking mouth and make a compromise, and that's my father and I.
My mother and I kept having a "conversation" about something I've been working on. Unfortunately, my mother was continuously asking questions about the thing I was making and I couldn't get her to stop asking questions, so I had to deal with, while attempting to work on it at the same time because she's inconsiderate like everyone else in this family. My brother also kept butting in to yell at me that my answers to the question were wrong, as if he had any proof that he knew one lick about what I was working on in the first place. I eventually start having a panic attack and yell at him to shut up. Naturally, mom agrees with me and repeats what I said, but doesn't bother to ask me why I was sweating and shaking. Brother takes it completely personally as usual, and my mother and him start having a second argument where my brother protests about how he wasn't butting in at all and he was OBVIOUSLY a part of the conversation from the start. By then my heart rate had lowered to a semi-healthy level, so I tried to tell him that no, he wasn't a part of the conversation, and that he had rudely interrupted me several times. He immediately yelled at me that I was interrupting him, and that I was not a part of this conversation. I try to speak once more, he screams at me to shut up and tells me to stop butting in.
In a matter of a couple minutes, I stopped being in the conversation, my brother broke in and started talking, and ignored him when I told him to be quiet. I tried to retake my place in the conversation and maybe get my brother to stop spewing shit, and I became the aggressor, while my brother literally told me that I was never speaking with my mother and that he had been answering all her questions. I tell him that he was essentially repeating what I had told him to do and he had refused to listen. He starts throwing an even bigger fit, calling me useless, and stupid and yelling SHUT UUUP like he always does when he has no other obnoxious ways to avoid admitting that he's in the wrong and just needs to do a simple thing to stop being in the wrong.
I can't handle the stress of being in arguments like this as often as I am. I don't feel healthy, I don't feel happy, and I don't feel sane. This is why I subconsciously see the human personality as being so simple and immature. This is why I get extremely nervous when someone on the forums is mad at me. I have homicidal fantasies, frequent nightmares, and now panic attacks. Wonderful. It doesn't help that a week feels like like a month now, and waiting to move out is completely agonizing so far. I'm old enough to go to driving school now, but my mother doesn't seem too keen on allowing it, so for now I'm stuck without one ounce of independence. Speaking of independence, that argument wouldn't have happened if my mother had thought to allow me some privacy by allowing me to move my computer out of the living room and back into my room, and maybe even let me put a fucking door up on it so it can be my room instead of being part of the living room.