... on the other hand, trying to talk to a thing like C's mother (because at this point, calling that creature a person is a disservice to humans)
Woah, let's not go that far...repaying what is deemed wrong in a person by denouncing their humanity won't do much merit either--the acts she has done are wrong. Before all this, she's a person--though she would've experienced the same acts in another time in other degrees...All people who have done much wrong have either experienced much wrong before or lack control over themselves.
At the point they're acting like that, treating them as human isn't really something you
should be doing. They're roughly equivalent to a localized natural disaster more than anything you can discuss things with. You're rarely dealing with an even remotely rational individual at that point -- you're dealing with something that's going bugfuck insane. They're a mobile boobytrap, you learn how they act and what sets them off, and react accordingly. Especially in someone in C's case, where the abusers are parents, the abused doesn't really have the tools necessary to improve conditions -- that's one of the major reasons why separation of an abuser and their victim is an
incredibly important part of dealing with the situation.
... though no, T, as I'd say it, at the point C's parents have reached they have abrogated whatever humanity they had. Maybe they can get it
back at some point, but at this one they're no different than a rabid animal. You're explicitly
not dealing with something capable of reason, you're dealing with something with an incredibly messed up set of action and reaction conditions -- and if you can't get that to change somehow, attempting to reason will explicitly not
work. And again, from within, from a position of weakness, without means to physically stop the abuse, that is next to bloody impossible.
Avoidance won't fix the problem unless realization occurs (though it does quite much fix having to be in the vicinity of the problem).
At this point, there's almost nothing C
can do to cause realization to occur. The environment fostering the abuse has to be
broken, and that is so close to being impossible to accomplish from a position of weakness the chance might as well not be there.
I'm very likely to say otherwise given my setting and studies Though I guess our terms diverge on what we talk about in abuse ._. It does work (and it doesn't at times, again due to many things), but the factors we may be talking about are different in many cases...
The only time I've heard of it working, both in personal (father was abusive, mother's worked with abused off and on in position as a teacher, etc.) and from second-hand professional accounts, is when there's someone or something else there to intervene. The chances of change occurring without something breaking the environment of abuse is basically nonexistent, and the ability of the abused to manage that is vanishingly small. Trying to talk your way out of that when you don't have some means of
stopping the abuse is an incredibly bad idea, from everything I've seen and heard. It is damned likely not to help, and far more damned likely to cause the abuser to escalate the abuse.
It's further worth noting that the amount of times I've seen and heard of an abusive relationship mending, be it filial or otherwise, is effectively
zero.
Maybe one out of every few hundred cases? Even if it manages to break outright toxicity at some point, later interaction is, as noted, entirely likely to cause abusive habits to reemerge. Abusers and their victims need to be separated, and that separation maintained
indefinitely. Some shit can't really be fixed. More, some things need to
not be fixed, for the betterment of all involved.
Never look back at the bad they've done, rather. Look back at what good--however little, they did. Learn from their actions and what causes their actions to reason out into such...negative results, and steer your life away from those kinds of reasonings :O
Look back to learn. Don't look back to only focus on the bad.
My suggestion is, yes, look back to learn. Internalize what you learn quickly, and then never look back again. If you need a well of wisdom to sup from, find some other source that isn't poisoned.
I wonder how they even reason out their...outbursts and physical harm.
Quite often with this sort of thing there isn't really reason, T. It's just reactive stuff -- damned rare is the person that
thinks before or after they start beating the hell out of a loved one.
Getting them to
start thinking is one of the major hurdles in breaking abusive behavior
Serious cases, sis.
... AC's actually being fairly serious. It's a fairly well known phenomena for abusive parents, in the states, at least, to call the cops on kids trying to get away from the abuse. Note that it's fairly common for the kids to be brought back, a story of lying children spun, and the abuse ignored.
... but yeah, I'unno if it should move to a different thread or PMs or something or what. Know the topic's a bit too close to home to not get jittery over it, though, so I'll probably leave this as my last words on the immediate subject.