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Author Topic: Things that made you RRRRRRAAAAGGGGEEEE today: Trust-o-nomics Edition  (Read 3702049 times)

Tiruin

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Re: Things that made you RRRRRRAAAAGGGGEEEE today: Descension Edition
« Reply #47205 on: December 04, 2014, 07:27:45 pm »

... on the other hand, trying to talk to a thing like C's mother (because at this point, calling that creature a person is a disservice to humans)
Woah, let's not go that far...repaying what is deemed wrong in a person by denouncing their humanity won't do much merit either--the acts she has done are wrong. Before all this, she's a person--though she would've experienced the same acts in another time in other degrees...All people who have done much wrong have either experienced much wrong before or lack control over themselves. :-\

I mean, if she knew what Caroline was saying about her and took it without assumptions in the first place, that's realization there that she's being both utterly hypocritical of her beliefs and a bad parent.
But it seems extremely otherwise...

As in, their reasoning regarding things. As people are beings of reason--what they see/do which is wrong seems 'right' to them, or rather more along a neutral line (ie coping) than anything else (hence the pokes at physical support in numbers as well as more experienced individuals for Caroline :O)
Avoidance won't fix the problem unless realization occurs (though it does quite much fix having to be in the vicinity of the problem).
It's just... seriously. You do not tell someone being abused to try to talk it out the abuser. That does not freaking work, basically ever, and is incredibly bloody likely to cause escalation.
I'm very likely to say otherwise given my setting and studies :P Though I guess our terms diverge on what we talk about in abuse ._. It does work (and it doesn't at times, again due to many things), but the factors we may be talking about are different in many cases...
Quote
And to C, it is sincerely damned unfortunate, but your parents are write offs. Once you (and hopefully your siblings) get free of 'em, never look back. It's frankly about the only chance either you or them have of ending up better off -- even if they do eventually get help, eventual notable interaction with their victim is entirely too likely to cause relapse, not improvement. They're broke, entirely, and because of their actions fixing that, if it's fixable at all, is something you're neither capable of nor responsible for. They need professional help and probably some degree of jail time, and at this point, you owe them absolutely nothing.
Never look back at the bad they've done, rather. Look back at what good--however little, they did. Learn from their actions and what causes their actions to reason out into such...negative results, and steer your life away from those kinds of reasonings :O
Look back to learn. Don't look back to only focus on the bad.
But yes, they need serious help. :-\
I wonder how they even reason out their...outbursts and physical harm.

"What is she going to do?" She'll probably call the cops. That's what my parents would have done, although they called the police every time there was something even remotely outside their control.
Serious cases, sis. :P
« Last Edit: December 04, 2014, 07:29:29 pm by Tiruin »
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4maskwolf

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Re: Things that made you RRRRRRAAAAGGGGEEEE today: Descension Edition
« Reply #47206 on: December 04, 2014, 07:28:31 pm »

Wow umm...

Is it possible that you can subtly get documented proof of what she is doing, like a video of it or something?

Then go to the police and show them it.  Bring your sister too.  Contact anyone in any position of power who can help.  That's my advice for you, Caroline.  Particularly if you can get multiple pieces of evidence.  Only do this if you're sure they will help though, because the repercussions if they don't might be...

Fniff

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Re: Things that made you RRRRRRAAAAGGGGEEEE today: Descension Edition
« Reply #47207 on: December 04, 2014, 07:29:55 pm »

Caroline lives in Honduras. From what I've heard, the cops there aren't so good.

4maskwolf

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Re: Things that made you RRRRRRAAAAGGGGEEEE today: Descension Edition
« Reply #47208 on: December 04, 2014, 07:31:18 pm »

Caroline lives in Honduras. From what I've heard, the cops there aren't so good.
I noticed, which was why I tried to look up child custody laws in Honduras.  Which didn't work so well for a cursory search, a lot of legal firms and stuff.

Empiricist

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Re: Things that made you RRRRRRAAAAGGGGEEEE today: Descension Edition
« Reply #47209 on: December 04, 2014, 07:32:13 pm »

Try a local politician perhaps, seeing as they probably can't afford to be seen ignoring an issue like that in public? Though then again, it is quite risky.
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Mr. Strange

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Re: Things that made you RRRRRRAAAAGGGGEEEE today: Descension Edition
« Reply #47210 on: December 04, 2014, 07:46:13 pm »

snip
Tir, as much as I would agree with you on general level with everything you said there, in this case it's of no use for her. Except for
Support your sister, Caroline.
part, that's badly needed for everyone their mother terrorises. If she were normal overprotective parent Helgo's advice would have been good, that kind of parents do what they do because they never even think that they could not be right in what they do, or not allowed to do it, and consider it "their own bussines" no one else has right to interfere with.
Easiest way to make them reconsider that way of thinking is to physically stop them.
Getting decked once or twice will make even dumbest abusing parent realize they are not holding that kind of power over you anymore, and force them change how they behave (for better or for worse). Separation and counseling by neutral third party would be very much preferred, but sometimes it just takes too long.

That's what I think for sane parents, which Caroline's mother apparently isn't. She seems more likely to go the way of that guy in timferius' link, and no one here wants that...

One more year C! 365 days, we're counting it for you.


Damn ninjas! Frumple said all I wanted to say better, too.
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Frumple

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Re: Things that made you RRRRRRAAAAGGGGEEEE today: Descension Edition
« Reply #47211 on: December 04, 2014, 08:01:25 pm »

... on the other hand, trying to talk to a thing like C's mother (because at this point, calling that creature a person is a disservice to humans)
Woah, let's not go that far...repaying what is deemed wrong in a person by denouncing their humanity won't do much merit either--the acts she has done are wrong. Before all this, she's a person--though she would've experienced the same acts in another time in other degrees...All people who have done much wrong have either experienced much wrong before or lack control over themselves. :-\
At the point they're acting like that, treating them as human isn't really something you should be doing. They're roughly equivalent to a localized natural disaster more than anything you can discuss things with. You're rarely dealing with an even remotely rational individual at that point -- you're dealing with something that's going bugfuck insane. They're a mobile boobytrap, you learn how they act and what sets them off, and react accordingly. Especially in someone in C's case, where the abusers are parents, the abused doesn't really have the tools necessary to improve conditions -- that's one of the major reasons why separation of an abuser and their victim is an incredibly important part of dealing with the situation.

... though no, T, as I'd say it, at the point C's parents have reached they have abrogated whatever humanity they had. Maybe they can get it back at some point, but at this one they're no different than a rabid animal. You're explicitly not dealing with something capable of reason, you're dealing with something with an incredibly messed up set of action and reaction conditions -- and if you can't get that to change somehow, attempting to reason will explicitly not work. And again, from within, from a position of weakness, without means to physically stop the abuse, that is next to bloody impossible.

Quote
Avoidance won't fix the problem unless realization occurs (though it does quite much fix having to be in the vicinity of the problem).
At this point, there's almost nothing C can do to cause realization to occur. The environment fostering the abuse has to be broken, and that is so close to being impossible to accomplish from a position of weakness the chance might as well not be there.

Quote
I'm very likely to say otherwise given my setting and studies :P Though I guess our terms diverge on what we talk about in abuse ._. It does work (and it doesn't at times, again due to many things), but the factors we may be talking about are different in many cases...
The only time I've heard of it working, both in personal (father was abusive, mother's worked with abused off and on in position as a teacher, etc.) and from second-hand professional accounts, is when there's someone or something else there to intervene. The chances of change occurring without something breaking the environment of abuse is basically nonexistent, and the ability of the abused to manage that is vanishingly small. Trying to talk your way out of that when you don't have some means of stopping the abuse is an incredibly bad idea, from everything I've seen and heard. It is damned likely not to help, and far more damned likely to cause the abuser to escalate the abuse.

It's further worth noting that the amount of times I've seen and heard of an abusive relationship mending, be it filial or otherwise, is effectively zero. Maybe one out of every few hundred cases? Even if it manages to break outright toxicity at some point, later interaction is, as noted, entirely likely to cause abusive habits to reemerge. Abusers and their victims need to be separated, and that separation maintained indefinitely. Some shit can't really be fixed. More, some things need to not be fixed, for the betterment of all involved.

Quote
Never look back at the bad they've done, rather. Look back at what good--however little, they did. Learn from their actions and what causes their actions to reason out into such...negative results, and steer your life away from those kinds of reasonings :O
Look back to learn. Don't look back to only focus on the bad.
My suggestion is, yes, look back to learn. Internalize what you learn quickly, and then never look back again. If you need a well of wisdom to sup from, find some other source that isn't poisoned.

Quote
I wonder how they even reason out their...outbursts and physical harm.
Quite often with this sort of thing there isn't really reason, T. It's just reactive stuff -- damned rare is the person that thinks before or after they start beating the hell out of a loved one. Getting them to start thinking is one of the major hurdles in breaking abusive behavior :-\

Quote
Serious cases, sis. :P
... AC's actually being fairly serious. It's a fairly well known phenomena for abusive parents, in the states, at least, to call the cops on kids trying to get away from the abuse. Note that it's fairly common for the kids to be brought back, a story of lying children spun, and the abuse ignored.

... but yeah, I'unno if it should move to a different thread or PMs or something or what. Know the topic's a bit too close to home to not get jittery over it, though, so I'll probably leave this as my last words on the immediate subject.
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Tiruin

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Re: Things that made you RRRRRRAAAAGGGGEEEE today: Descension Edition
« Reply #47212 on: December 04, 2014, 08:09:25 pm »

Quote
Serious cases, sis. :P
... AC's actually being fairly serious. It's a fairly well known phenomena for abusive parents, in the states, at least, to call the cops on kids trying to get away from the abuse.[...]
Err, what I meant was that Allee's note on people calling the cops for pretty much minor things they could do themselves ._.
Quote
Maybe they can get it back at some point, but at this one they're no different than a rabid animal. You're explicitly not dealing with something capable of reason, you're dealing with something with an incredibly messed up set of action and reaction conditions -- and if you can't get that to change somehow, attempting to reason will explicitly not work.
[...]
At this point, there's almost nothing C can do to cause realization to occur. The environment fostering the abuse has to be broken, and that is so close to being impossible to accomplish from a position of weakness the chance might as well not be there.
[...]
The only time I've heard of it working, both in personal (father was abusive, mother's worked with abused off and on in position as a teacher, etc.) and from second-hand professional accounts, is when there's someone or something else there to intervene. The chances of change occurring without something breaking the environment of abuse is basically nonexistent, and the ability of the abused to manage that is vanishingly small. Trying to talk your way out of that when you don't have some means of stopping the abuse is an incredibly bad idea, from everything I've seen and heard. It is damned likely not to help, and far more damned likely to cause the abuser to escalate the abuse.

It's further worth noting that the amount of times I've seen and heard of an abusive relationship mending, be it filial or otherwise, is effectively zero. Maybe one out of every few hundred cases? Even if it manages to break outright toxicity at some point, later interaction is, as noted, entirely likely to cause abusive habits to reemerge. Abusers and their victims need to be separated, and that separation maintained indefinitely. Some shit can't really be fixed. More, some things need to not be fixed, for the betterment of all involved.
Yep! I agree with everything said...My words are just all over the plate x_x

I meant that they had reasoning towards why they do what they do (despite it already being obviously hypocritical of their words >_<) and this such reasoning (or rather a conditioned reaction) drives them to continue that. Though that's much of a possibility as others, its very apparent.

...And yeah, separation... ._. Though there was not yet the instance of others intervening on Caroline and her sister's behalf yet. So it may be too early to move for separation (as in, what do others there think, who can see the situation thoroughly and quicker than posts-via-forum and such?)

Also...isn't this discussion related to the rage thread? As in, it talks about something to be rage worthy about but...it does cite the people in question so...huh :/ Right..
« Last Edit: December 04, 2014, 08:14:55 pm by Tiruin »
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Worldmaster27

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Re: Things that made you RRRRRRAAAAGGGGEEEE today: Descension Edition
« Reply #47213 on: December 04, 2014, 11:16:24 pm »

* Worldmaster27 hug Caroline for good measure.
I've often thought about self-defence/retribution, but I don't think it'd work at all. Plus, I would just be doing the same thing they do, and trying to justify it leads to being practically identical to them. I don't wanna follow those footsteps.
this is good
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Knit tie

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Re: Things that made you RRRRRRAAAAGGGGEEEE today: Descension Edition
« Reply #47214 on: December 05, 2014, 12:11:45 am »

First fortress in ages, everything's amazing, masons churn out diorite blocks for the wall, farmers grow quinoa, craftsdwarves make marble pots, brewers brew apples, haulers haul boulders, fey mooded kid lost his mind and runs around babbling, blacksmith makes golden tables, hunters murder pandas, miners mine stairs, etc, etc...

Game crashes.

Reopen Dwarf Fortress.

Continue playing.

Seven dwarves huddle around a wagon.

Motherfucker.


EDIT: Jesus Christ, Caroline, what's happened to you?
« Last Edit: December 05, 2014, 12:13:37 am by Knit tie »
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Tiruin

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Re: Things that made you RRRRRRAAAAGGGGEEEE today: Descension Edition
« Reply #47215 on: December 05, 2014, 02:04:44 am »

Police... Yeah, there might be noncorrupt police here, but in general it's best to avoid that, as even if they do childcare is not that high-quality and we'd probably get sepparated or something. I know two or three friends I might be able to trust with this, but I'm scared of testing my relationships with them that far. Maybe a teacher? I know that they are generally trustworthy and tend to not tell anyone if told so.
If you request for it to be confidential--others would keep it confidential :O
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Ultimuh

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Re: Things that made you RRRRRRAAAAGGGGEEEE today: Descension Edition
« Reply #47216 on: December 05, 2014, 03:27:27 am »

First fortress in ages, everything's amazing, masons churn out diorite blocks for the wall, farmers grow quinoa, craftsdwarves make marble pots, brewers brew apples, haulers haul boulders, fey mooded kid lost his mind and runs around babbling, blacksmith makes golden tables, hunters murder pandas, miners mine stairs, etc, etc...

Game crashes.

Reopen Dwarf Fortress.

Continue playing.

Seven dwarves huddle around a wagon.

Motherfucker.


I tend to save&quit often.
I also tend to keep copies of savegames in case something happens.
Yes, I am a dirty savescummer.
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Orange Wizard

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Re: Things that made you RRRRRRAAAAGGGGEEEE today: Descension Edition
« Reply #47217 on: December 05, 2014, 03:42:29 am »

EDIT: Jesus Christ, Caroline, what's happened to you?
Her terrible parents are continuing to be unbelievably terrible human beings.

...

I have a vague desire to send them a Navy Seal copypasta, or something to that effect.
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Aptus

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Re: Things that made you RRRRRRAAAAGGGGEEEE today: Descension Edition
« Reply #47218 on: December 05, 2014, 03:43:43 am »

Bah... going to have to RMA my new graphics card (R9 290 with sapphire tri-x cooler). At first it was so awesome but it wasn't long before I started getting black screens. Black screen followed by a complete system freeze where all I could see was a black screen and some times my mouse pointer.

It happens so fucking randomly too, some times I can play hearthstone for 10 seconds before it happens, the next day I can play Arma 3 for hours without problem only to have it happen when I play a youtube video.

I have double, triple and quadruple checked that the card is connected correctly, with different cables for the 6 and 8-pin connections. I have a bloody 1000W PSU so it ain't a problem with that.
I have tried different drivers and even the sapphire tweaking tool to downclock the card, nothing helps.

Fuck, this being christmas and all I doubt I'll have a new card for a long fucking while.

I just got an R9 290 card also and had somewhat similar problems.  My computer would randomly freeze after 30 seconds to 5 minutes of use.  Switching the card to the other PCI-E slot was what ultimately fixed the problem.

Hmm, that is one thing I have not tried yet, would have to shuffle around some stuff. I'll check it out after Uni. Doubt I will hear back from the sellers before next week anyways.
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Skyrunner

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Re: Things that made you RRRRRRAAAAGGGGEEEE today: Descension Edition
« Reply #47219 on: December 05, 2014, 06:51:44 am »

I can't figure out how many calories this cake I just ate is >. <
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