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[Dutchling]

"Hey Caroline, why are you suddenly eating so much spinach"

"Ehh..."

[timferius]

Later that night my mom brought my sister into her room, and we all slept together.

Err... I get what you mean, but this would be hilarious if the whole situation wasn't FUBAR.

On what to do: You're still physically a dude, right? Around fifteen, or seventeen, if you're gonna be able to move out in a year?

Hit her back.
I'm serious. It's one of the most horrible things one can do, hitting one's parent, but it might be the only way to get through to her. What's she gonna do - beat you more?

Umm yes? That strikes me as a terrible response. That is how people die in these situations...

Edit:
Just going to leave this local news story here, to remind you that these situations can escalate creepily quickly, and to recommend caution.

[scriver]

Hit her back.
I'm serious. It's one of the most horrible things one can do, hitting one's parent, but it might be the only way to get through to her. What's she gonna do - beat you more?

Yes. That is exactly what she could do. And probably would. And from what I understand of the situation, her father would too.

[timferius]

Added this to above post, just in case it was missed.

[Aptus]

Bah... going to have to RMA my new graphics card (R9 290 with sapphire tri-x cooler). At first it was so awesome but it wasn't long before I started getting black screens. Black screen followed by a complete system freeze where all I could see was a black screen and some times my mouse pointer.

It happens so fucking randomly too, some times I can play hearthstone for 10 seconds before it happens, the next day I can play Arma 3 for hours without problem only to have it happen when I play a youtube video.

I have double, triple and quadruple checked that the card is connected correctly, with different cables for the 6 and 8-pin connections. I have a bloody 1000W PSU so it ain't a problem with that.
I have tried different drivers and even the sapphire tweaking tool to downclock the card, nothing helps.

Fuck, this being christmas and all I doubt I'll have a new card for a long fucking while.

[4maskwolf]

arrrrrrrrrrrrrrg

I am really pissed off right now.

So, last night I get an email from a former friend inviting me to her birthday party.  Which in and of itself wouldn't be so bad, but I know that she only sent that email because her mom suggested it.  And when I talked to her today to confirm that it was, indeed, her mom's idea, she got really pissed and defensive because I asked her that question.  Which was probably justified, but among other things I'm angry that she apparently a) refuses to stand up to her parents, because she very clearly does not want to interact with me and didn't want to invite me b) proceeded to say "yes, it was her idea, but I sent the invitation" as a way of I don't even know what, maybe she thought that I wasn't going to go if it was her mom's idea, c) she doesn't realize that its actually more hurtful to be invited to a party where the host doesn't want you there than it is to not get an invitation at all and d) immediately took my question as an attack on her and would have turned the whole thing into an argument had I not clammed up and walked away after saying "I didn't mean to irritate you".

I'm not sure if I'm angry at myself or her or what but urk.

It's probably myself, to be honest, it's my fault for bringing it up and for deciding to go even though it's clear that she is at best apathetic about me being there.  So I should probably hate myself for it.

[Orange Wizard]

*reads past two pages of thread*

...

So, um. Any progress on the ol' Get Caroline The Hell Out Of There Fund?

[Descan]

"It was her idea but I sent the invitation" usually is intended to mean "I didn't think of it myself but I thought it was an okay idea so I went ahead with it."

I.E. she intended you to take it as "I do want you there."

Whether she ACTUALLY means that or just was trying to save face, that's the other question.

The only thing I can suggest would be to be upfront and say "I won't go if you don't want me there, and I won't be offended if you say you would rather I not come. It wouldn't be fun for either of us if you didn't want me there and I felt like an intruder, yes? So please tell me honestly what you would rather happen. If you do want me there, I'd be more than happy to come [would you?]."

[Helgoland]

*reads past two pages of thread*

...

So, um. Any progress on the ol' Get Caroline The Hell Out Of There Fund?

Has anybody set that up yet? I'd donate for sure. The police there is corrupt, right? I think I know what to do with the money...

[Tiruin]

Caroline, your mother does not know how to be a good parent. Or, to be more precise, her parenting methods are...very inefficient.
Verbal abuse coupled with physical abuse does not lead to the holistic health (mental or physical) of a child.

Later that night my mom brought my sister into her room, and we all slept together.

Err... I get what you mean, but this would be hilarious if the whole situation wasn't FUBAR.

On what to do: You're still physically a dude, right? Around fifteen, or seventeen, if you're gonna be able to move out in a year?

Hit her back.
I'm serious. It's one of the most horrible things one can do, hitting one's parent, but it might be the only way to get through to her. What's she gonna do - beat you more?

Helgo, this is extremely bad advice.
Do you know how the cycle of abuse continues? Revenge like this.
Abuse others, it chains up a reaction--problem is, its a choice. While it may grant 'satisfaction' in the short-term, as well as probably giving some form of reprieve, it does not help in the long-term at all. While it may give Caroline a sense of relief, I do sincerely believe she is not that kind of person--thus so, if you think about the person you'd strike back: will they learn? And how? Won't the act probably reinforce their mannerisms and dispositions towards acts of violence and situations of possible harm?
Those things are not 'that simple', there.

You do not give advice like this in all seriousness as a 'resort to change them'.
What is the best way is to show or teach them how to approach the situation through the adversity of screaming and fear--to approach it directly with words, and to get support beforehand: it'd be very hard to face this alone, though it is possible; in Caroline's case, she needs support.
Especially in a case of Honduras. Paranoia won't help though--being aware and balancing that paranoia out with tempered discipline would (PS: What your parents do is not good discipline...)

Support your sister, Caroline. Ask aid from the guidance counselors. Hopefully, you'd tell them this situation as is...and add a note that they could please not tell your parents until you're done talking to them and all. (as in, detail the situation for those who can and are oriented to helping you and your family; you're afraid, tell them of the possible consequence if the offending party was informed before all information can be given--hopefully they're informed this is a very serious thing with your life). Inquire about child protection services maybe, or the presence of Child and Women's groups or such, or ask for assessment from the counselors about the situation?

And...your counselor is correct. Forgive your parents for what they've done--the acts are a different thing than your parents. Don't carry a grudge against them; against the actions, yes, but not against them (though it is hard to explain how this works in word -.-).
He's pretty much advocating what is being taught in religion Though...not how your parents teach it. (I mean seriously nhggh. As a theologian, what they do isn't...No.) :I

*reads past two pages of thread*

...

So, um. Any progress on the ol' Get Caroline The Hell Out Of There Fund?

Has anybody set that up yet? I'd donate for sure. The police there is corrupt, right? I think I know what to do with the money...

Please don't generalize a whole entity -_-
While it is true there are elements of corruption within certain establishments, this does not apply to the whole force: there are people who are not corrupt, but the illusion of corruption either permeates the area that it seems a ton bigger than it really is, or those stationed in certain positions are the corrupt ones (instead of others stationed in other places) due to their exposure and vicinity towards certain criminal elements.

[Worldmaster27]

Caroline, your mother does not know how to be a good parent.

A bit of an understatement, but definitely this. Hang in there until you can get up here where A) your parents will be thrown into prison for a very long time hopefully because yay child protection or B) they end up dead in a roadside ditch because MZ/anyone else from Bay12 found them.

Your mom should also be slapped with a bible/whatever holy book and told to actually read it and follow it, if they're going to.

Also, this seems quite relevant.

[Helgoland]

Helgo, this is extremely bad advice.
Do you know how the cycle of abuse continues? Revenge like this.

I meant 'hitting back' as in self-defense, not without provocation... But yeah, it was a gut reaction - and probably one of the worse ways of dealing with the situation.

[Frumple]

... on the other hand, trying to talk to a thing like C's mother (because at this point, calling that creature a person is a disservice to humans) is something that's pretty much guaranteed not to work, as well. It's pretty damned certain trying to will just make things worse, because said parent is entirely fucked in the head and there's not really a better way of putting it. In cases like that, generally about the only thing that's even remotely likely to work is either avoidance (which is currently impossible, and entails taking the siblings and getting the goddamn hell away from those pieces of filth), or some form of superior force application. Directly (self defense), through police or other entities (incarceration, intervention), or whatever. You're not going to manage to talk an abusive piece of shit into not being one. Once it's hit that point, it takes literal physical intervention of some sort -- you have to break the environment being fostered, either by changing it (leaving, getting the abuser thrown out, etc.) or removing the capability to abuse, one way or another.

It's just... seriously. You do not tell someone being abused to try to talk it out the abuser. That does not freaking work, basically ever, and is incredibly bloody likely to cause escalation. You tell them to get the hell out, stay the hell out, and if at all possible get the bastard(s) in question thrown in jail or a mental hospital where they belong. There's not really a means to fix that situation beyond permanent separation. And if that's not possible, you tell 'em to bunker down, keep the head low as much as possible, and gtfo as soon as humanly possible. The scenario in question functionally cannot improve from within.

And to C, it is sincerely damned unfortunate, but your parents are write offs. Once you (and hopefully your siblings) get free of 'em, never look back. It's frankly about the only chance either you or them have of ending up better off -- even if they do eventually get help, eventual notable interaction with their victim is entirely too likely to cause relapse, not improvement. They're broke, entirely, and because of their actions fixing that, if it's fixable at all, is something you're neither capable of nor responsible for. They need professional help and probably some degree of jail time, and at this point, you owe them absolutely nothing.

[AlleeCat]

"What is she going to do?" She'll probably call the cops. That's what my parents would have done, although they called the police every time there was something even remotely outside their control.

[SalmonGod]

Bah... going to have to RMA my new graphics card (R9 290 with sapphire tri-x cooler). At first it was so awesome but it wasn't long before I started getting black screens. Black screen followed by a complete system freeze where all I could see was a black screen and some times my mouse pointer.

It happens so fucking randomly too, some times I can play hearthstone for 10 seconds before it happens, the next day I can play Arma 3 for hours without problem only to have it happen when I play a youtube video.

I have double, triple and quadruple checked that the card is connected correctly, with different cables for the 6 and 8-pin connections. I have a bloody 1000W PSU so it ain't a problem with that.
I have tried different drivers and even the sapphire tweaking tool to downclock the card, nothing helps.

Fuck, this being christmas and all I doubt I'll have a new card for a long fucking while.

I just got an R9 290 card also and had somewhat similar problems.  My computer would randomly freeze after 30 seconds to 5 minutes of use.  Switching the card to the other PCI-E slot was what ultimately fixed the problem.