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[DeKaFu]

I once had a peacock steal an entire hamburger out of my hand. Speaking of jerk birds.

You sure it wasn't a Kea? 

If it was a kea it would've stolen an entire wheelbarrow full of hamburgers.

[Mech#4]

I once had a peacock steal an entire hamburger out of my hand. Speaking of jerk birds.

You sure it wasn't a Kea? 

Emus are like that. I had one take a feed bag out of my hand and run off with it.

[Frumple]

* Tiruin has chickens in her...err, how to say community. :v

Chickens are ok. They're free roaming though.

I've ranted on chickens more than once, I think. Short form: They're only ok because you're bigger than them and sufficiently mobile you can get away. Otherwise they would be devouring your flesh without hesitation or anything approaching remorse.

Chickens want to eat you. They want to eat you, your family, your pets, any surrounding bystanders, any organic materials that happen to be a part of your domicile, free-floating souls, and the platonic ideal of love. Because they cannot feel love, only hate and hunger, and wish to consume all that is light and goodness in a nihilistic orgy of consumptive destruction.

Chickens are not the devil. They are what the devil looks into the eyes of, and flinches away. As I've stated before, were they not so delicious, I would dedicate the remainder of my life to driving them into extinction. It's the only way to be truly safe.

[MaximumZero]

Concur, chickens are beyond evil. Nom nom tasty evil.

[Yoink]

Still a better love story than Twilight.

[Orange Wizard]

* Tiruin has chickens in her...err, how to say community. :v

Chickens are ok. They're free roaming though.

I've ranted on chickens more than once, I think. Short form: They're only ok because you're bigger than them and sufficiently mobile you can get away. Otherwise they would be devouring your flesh without hesitation or anything approaching remorse.

Chickens want to eat you. They want to eat you, your family, your pets, any surrounding bystanders, any organic materials that happen to be a part of your domicile, free-floating souls, and the platonic ideal of love. Because they cannot feel love, only hate and hunger, and wish to consume all that is light and goodness in a nihilistic orgy of consumptive destruction.

Chickens are not the devil. They are what the devil looks into the eyes of, and flinches away. As I've stated before, were they not so delicious, I would dedicate the remainder of my life to driving them into extinction. It's the only way to be truly safe.

I really think you're getting confused with keas.

[Avis-Mergulus]

Swans are worse than chickens, though. They look majestic because of their size and the graceful way they glide upon the water... The latter is so they can better disguise their intentions when closing into beak range, while the former results in a wingspan of 4 meters and a beak that can snap bones, all the while hissing at you like the tires of Satan's tow truck.
Geese, they're fighters. Sure, they will indulge in a little dishonorable "pinch him in the ass while he's not looking" but in general, they just keep to themselves if you don't pick a fight. I can respect geese. Swans, however, need no other reason to fuck you up other than the fact that you're in the range of 2 to 200 meters.
Even if you somehow succeed in strangling the offending swan like it deserves, the shitty sonovabitch (while bystanders call you a monster for this), you can't eat swan. At all. Their meat tastes like piss, so better to spite you even in death.
In conclusion I would like to restate that swans are treason. They are the absolute shit-tier bird. Cassowaries might be worse, but I've never met one in my life.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I'm exaggerating slightly, of course. But the above is basically true.

[Orange Wizard]

Swans, though, don't have a fetish for stealing anything that catches their eye. They're also not endangered, so legally you're allowed to kill them. They're big enough that you'll probably notice one sneaking up on you. They don't use razor-sharp talons when in close combat. Their beaks might break bones, but it can't gouge out your eyeballs and rend the flesh from your bones. They don't attack from the air. They don't try to murder you to steal your lunch. And they at least look graceful, unlike another certain species of bird.

I am, of course, talking about keas. The worst creature on the face of planet Earth.

[Yoink]

Swans are worse than chickens, though.

I dunno about worse.
I remember when I was a kid, we lived out in the bush and had a bunch of hens, as well as a couple of roosters. Anyway, most of our chickens were bantams, which are much smaller (and prettier!) than your average chicken, but one day when we were at a market (my parents used to go to markets to buy, restore and sell antique furniture back in the day) someone gave us this gigantic hen, since they couldn't keep her as she'd been digging up their garden or something.

So, Goldy (she came with the name, okay) quickly settled in with the others and our chief rooster, Boss, who had been rescued from a cockfighting ring before we bought him, saw an opportunity. In pretty much the most amazing chicken-related moment ever, this majestic, rather violent rooster with a beautiful crest of gold and green feathers, the leader of the tribe, recruited the newcomer- a big, ugly-looking brown laying hen- and began an absolute reign of terror over the local wildlife.

They worked as a team, Goldy would knock creatures down and pin them to the ground while Boss pecked out their eyes/underbellies and killed them. It was pretty horrifying. People say cats are bad for killing native wildlife, well they never saw these fucking chickens. I was too young to remember all the gory details now, but they slaughtered various marsupials, kookaburras, lizards... all sorts of stuff. Especially interesting is the fact that Boss had another hen which was actually his mate, he just joined up with Goldy to kill things.
We eventually lost all our chickens (there were a freaking lot of them, as well as some ducks) when we moved out of there and rented the property out, unfortunately to people who didn't take much care of the animals. They apparently got out and just wandered off with no-one feeding them. That or they starved and turned on each other.

Personally, I like to imagine that their descendants still roam the land, a terrifying breed of ultra-chickens that slaughter all in their path with their size, ferocity and strangely clever tactics. Those chickens were badass.

[Avis-Mergulus]

Swans are worse than chickens, though.

I dunno about worse.
-snip-

That's actually horrifying. My negative experiences with chickens consist of a large and belligerent cock bird which tried to claw my uncle to death on multiple occasions, so it's not like I'm qualified to judge. However...

Their beaks might break bones, but it can't gouge out your eyeballs and rend the flesh from your bones.

[citation needed]

They don't attack from the air.

Boy, do they ever.

They don't try to murder you to steal your lunch.

Yeah, they try to murder you because you exist.

[BFEL]

Remember kids, birds are just smaller dinosaurs with less teeth. They still have the "pin you down and eat you while you're still screaming" instinct.

Anyway my rage is that DRAGONS DOGMA HAS NO PC VERSION!!!! GODDAMMIT CAPCOM WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU? TRUSTING *CONSOLES* WITH ALL YOUR AWESOME GAME OF AWESOMENESS? GRRRRRAAAAAHHHHHHH *BFEL has gone berserk!*

Also will SOMEONE strangle Cmega's mom with her own ovaries? Please? I don't have the cash to go down there and do it myself or I would.

[Yoink]

It's 'cause consoles are better. Scrub.

[BFEL]

It's 'cause consoles are better. Scrub.

Sure they are _{except that they've basically become stripped down PC's with 1/4th the functionality and any games for them will be completely forgotten/ unable to be played in a year or so...}

[Dutchling]

"Once a beautiful tree-"

FUCKING ELVES

[Worldmaster27]

I concur, BFEL.

WHY NO PC DRAGON'S DOGMA!? WHY U HATE THE ONE TRUE GAMING MASTER RACE, CAPCOM!?

I guess they just want to keep the peasants happy...