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Author Topic: Things that made you RRRRRRAAAAGGGGEEEE today: Trust-o-nomics Edition  (Read 3747979 times)

MaximumZero

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Re: Things that made you RRRRRRAAAAGGGGEEEE today: The Cup of Rage Edition
« Reply #38805 on: June 28, 2014, 11:00:37 am »

My fucking god, you have to be kidding me.
Eh, wot?
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Holy crap, why did I not start watching One Punch Man earlier? This is the best thing.
probably figured an autobiography wouldn't be interesting

mastahcheese

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Re: Things that made you RRRRRRAAAAGGGGEEEE today: The Cup of Rage Edition
« Reply #38806 on: June 28, 2014, 12:33:42 pm »

My fucking god, you have to be kidding me.
Eh, wot?
Yeah, I'm intrigued now.
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Oh look, I have a steam account.
Might as well chalk it up to Pathos.
As this point we might as well invoke interpretive dance and call it a day.
The Derail Thread

Avis-Mergulus

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Re: Things that made you RRRRRRAAAAGGGGEEEE today: The Cup of Rage Edition
« Reply #38807 on: June 28, 2014, 03:07:48 pm »

I'm gonna shout for a bit, so bear with me, please.
So I was making pizza from scratch, and it turned out fucking beautiful. Smell, crust, topping, everything. If the Italian mofo that invented pizza had seen it, he would shed a single crystal-clear tear and vow never to make pizza again, for perfection has been achieved. End of the line. The game is won.
So I let out one contented sigh and went to extract it from the oven by the sides of the baking parchment.

AND THEN THAT MOTHERFUCKING PARCHMENT TORE

AND THE FUCKING BITCH-ASS PIZZA SPILLED ON THE CUNTMOTHERING FLOOER YOUI BITCH ASS PUNK

CAN YOU GUESS WHICH SIDE DOWN?

WELL CAN YOU, PUNK?

RIIIIGHT, TOPPING SIDE DOWN! TOPPING SPILLED FUCKING EVERYWHERE! FUCKFUCKFUKLCUFKCKFUCK

...I'm gonna go to Minden, Germany, find the head office of Cofresco Frischhalterprodukte GmbH&Co, then find their most important bigwig AND STUFF THAT ROLL OF PARCHMENT UP HIS URETHRA

Fuck.
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“See this Payam!” cried the gods, “He deceives us! He cruelly abuses our lustful hearts!”

nenjin

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Re: Things that made you RRRRRRAAAAGGGGEEEE today: The Cup of Rage Edition
« Reply #38808 on: June 28, 2014, 03:35:01 pm »

Next time get a sheet tray underneath it when you take it out. Having pulled many a pizza barehanded out of the oven, they are indeed treacherous when hot.
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Cautivo del Milagro seamos, Penitente.
Quote from: Viktor Frankl
When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.
Quote from: Sindain
Its kinda silly to complain that a friendly NPC isn't a well designed boss fight.
Quote from: Eric Blank
How will I cheese now assholes?
Quote from: MrRoboto75
Always spaghetti, never forghetti

Avis-Mergulus

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Re: Things that made you RRRRRRAAAAGGGGEEEE today: The Cup of Rage Edition
« Reply #38809 on: June 28, 2014, 03:37:08 pm »

Next time get a sheet tray underneath it when you take it out. Having pulled many a pizza barehanded out of the oven, they are indeed treacherous when hot.
What's a sheet tray? My vocabulary has failed me.
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“See this Payam!” cried the gods, “He deceives us! He cruelly abuses our lustful hearts!”

Frumple

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Re: Things that made you RRRRRRAAAAGGGGEEEE today: The Cup of Rage Edition
« Reply #38810 on: June 28, 2014, 03:40:17 pm »

Or just a plate or something. Anything that's actually solid, really.

+1 life lesson learned, Avis. Don't lift apotheopizza via paper.

What's a sheet tray? My vocabulary has failed me.
One of these.
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BFEL

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Re: Things that made you RRRRRRAAAAGGGGEEEE today: The Cup of Rage Edition
« Reply #38811 on: June 28, 2014, 03:44:20 pm »

+1 life lesson learned, Avis. Don't lift apotheopizza via paper

HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING FROM HIS MISTAKE FRUMPLE?

Apotheopizza isn't lifted. One must crawl into the oven with it and eat it there.
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7/10 Has much more memorable sigs but casts them to the realm of sigtexts.

Indeed, I do this.

Avis-Mergulus

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Re: Things that made you RRRRRRAAAAGGGGEEEE today: The Cup of Rage Edition
« Reply #38812 on: June 28, 2014, 03:47:33 pm »

Riiight, I suppose that was dumb. And yeah, I used one of these to bake it. It's the only one I have (adequately-sized, at least.) I didn't expect that fucking parchment to tear just like that. I mean, fuck. You have no idea how angry that made me. Apparently my apartment has good noise insulation, cause else my neighbours would have called the cops already.

+1 life lesson learned, Avis. Don't lift apotheopizza via paper

HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING FROM HIS MISTAKE FRUMPLE?

Apotheopizza isn't lifted. One must crawl into the oven with it and eat it there.
Reminds me of that vending machine SCP which would dispense any fluid you asked for. And one guy asked for the best drink ever, and then committed suicide, because, quote, "Everything just seems like a letdown now". There is no point to life after apotheopizza.
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“See this Payam!” cried the gods, “He deceives us! He cruelly abuses our lustful hearts!”

nenjin

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Kingdoms of Alamur: The Reckoning. Bought on Steam for $10.

I'd heard a lot of people talk glowingly about this game. That it was a thoughtful action RPG, a single player MMO. That it was more than just a rehashing of every tired RPG mechanic there is.

And what I've found is a patently, painfully generic fantasy game, themed on Celtic mythology, where everyone has a European/British/Irish/Scottish accent. (Because that's what the West thinks fantasy sounds like.)

It reminds me strongly of Fable, both for the 1-dimensional action and character development. In the same way it's pretty, that super colorful, somewhat cartoony style that marked out Fable in its day. Only the environments are less well crafted, the sense of being in a living fairy tale not as strong. The music, forgettable.

And OF COURSE the three archetypes are Fighter Thief and Magic User. OF COURSE the tutorial is going to make you try out all of these roles first. OF COURSE the entire system is built so you can be all three at once. OF COURSE all the meta-mechanics for leveling are going to focus on 1 thing per archetype, so you have 50 levels of incremental improvements on something fucking boring thing like Mana Regen to look forward to. OF COURSE you're going to be hit by a tidal wave of gibberish names within the first 10 minutes, of places you don't know or care about because AUTHORIAL INTENT. OF COURSE the tutorial level takes places in the middle of an attack, and the entire goddamn screen is shaking like the level is being hit by artillery, so that by the end in can conveniently collapse on itself, because DRAMA and NO GOING BACK. OF FUCKING COURSE MAGIC IS COMPRISED OF FIRE, LIGHTNING AND ICE AND NOTHING FUCKING ELSE.

It's even got the fantasy equivalent of bullet time. FUCKING BULLET TIME. It's a major element of their combat model.

I feel like I'm playing WoW, right down to the stupidly long ears on my elven character. It's hitting every cliche there is, from dialog trees to character who scream at you that THERE IS NO TIME, but then proceed to talk about everything under the moon if you so wish.

I'm not surprised this thing didn't take the market by storm. There is nothing new or exceptionally well done I've seen so far, from the rambling storyline that starts with your character waking up, to the star-crossed hero of destiny garbage story to stereotypical NPCs with stupid jobs (I'm a FATEWEAVER BRAH! I DON'T ACTUALLY WEAVE FATE, BUT ISN'T MY JOB TITLE COOL BRAH? Now....Tarot Cards! Because MYSTICISM BRAH!")

Yeech. I'm glad to know my instincts about what I like and don't like are still sharp and I didn't make a $11+ mistake, but I feel stupid after buying this game. In playing it I started to feel genuinely bad for all developers who are still trying to make "the RPG", and all the contrivances and tropes they require. The horse is fucking dead, gentlemen and lady developers (who don't seem as apt to create this kind of drek.) It's Equine Jerky at this point, it's so thoroughly pulped, shredded, stringy and dessicated. I can't even see this as a game really, just a collection of mechanics and themes that everyone has played 10x over and isn't fresh here.
« Last Edit: June 28, 2014, 04:24:52 pm by nenjin »
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Cautivo del Milagro seamos, Penitente.
Quote from: Viktor Frankl
When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.
Quote from: Sindain
Its kinda silly to complain that a friendly NPC isn't a well designed boss fight.
Quote from: Eric Blank
How will I cheese now assholes?
Quote from: MrRoboto75
Always spaghetti, never forghetti

Aklyon

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It does give people a reason to use Reckoning as a subtitle though. That doesn't happen often :P
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It's known as the Oppai-Kaiju effect. The islands of Japan generate a sort anti-gravity field, which allows breasts to behave as if in microgravity. It's also what allows Godzilla and friends to become 50 stories tall, and lets ninjas run up the side of a skyscraper.

TD1

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Hey, I like to think their is still inspirational succour to be obtained from the tit of fantasy!

We just need to craft that into a game.

Some sort of cheese churner?
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nenjin

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There's plenty to be had from fantasy yet, if developers:

1. Didn't keep trying to make the games they've already played
2. Didn't keep trying to be the next Tolkien
3. Didn't keep trying to make the most cost effective (programming-wise) mechanics, where exactly zero things emerge from it.
4. Spent more than 2 weeks designing the actual gameplay features, and their reasons for being.
5. Invested more creativity into their ideas than the last, shitty mass-produced fantasy novel they read and went "I can do that!"
« Last Edit: June 28, 2014, 04:13:11 pm by nenjin »
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Cautivo del Milagro seamos, Penitente.
Quote from: Viktor Frankl
When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.
Quote from: Sindain
Its kinda silly to complain that a friendly NPC isn't a well designed boss fight.
Quote from: Eric Blank
How will I cheese now assholes?
Quote from: MrRoboto75
Always spaghetti, never forghetti

Sonlirain

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Whelp... time to play the devils advocate because i kinda liked it.

Quote
And OF COURSE the three archetypes are Fighter Thief and Magic User.
Well those are baselines fr every class ever. Look at WoW or D&D and their multitude of classes and you can always place them somewhere on the Stealth, Might, Magic triangle.

Quote
OF COURSE the tutorial is going to make you try out all of these roles first.
Well duh that's what tutorials are for better than nagging you about every single new thing with popups 2 hours into the game.

Quote
OF COURSE the entire system is built so you can be all three at once.
Wouldn't say that. There are nice bonuses for focused character destinies and later down the line each destiny gets a unique skill/boost that makes them better at what they do.

Quote
OF COURSE all the meta-mechanics for leveling are going to focus on 1 thing per archetype, so you have 50 levels of incremental improvements on something fucking boring thing like Mana Regen to look forward to.
Dunno my warrior character quite regularly got new skills and moves but i agree that the tree is padded with boring stuff like longsword, greatsword, hammer mastery that only add a some extra damage to your  attacks with a certain weapon.
Quote
OF COURSE you're going to be hit by a tidal wave of gibberish names within the first 10 minutes, of places you don't know or care about because AUTHORIAL INTENT.
Well they were building a large world and background for it. Names didn't strike me as totally gibberish... altho i don't really remember any of them with the exeption of Fomorous Hughes.

Quote
OF COURSE the tutorial level takes places in the middle of an attack, and the entire goddamn screen is shaking like the level is being hit by artillery, so that by the end in can conveniently collapse on itself, because DRAMA and NO GOING BACK.
Why would you want to return to the tutorial area anyway? Its like saying Fallout is bad bacauuse you can't cross the bridge to arroyo after you found the GECK.

Quote
OF FUCKING COURSE MAGIC IS COMPRISED OF FIRE, LIGHTNING AND ICE AND NOTHING FUCKING ELSE.
It would be just as cookie cutter if they added earth shadow and light because WoW did them first and adding even more just for the sake of originality would just clutter the statsheets.

Quote
It's even got the fantasy equivalent of bullet time. FUCKING BULLET TIME. It's a major element of their combat model.
And since when having bullet time became a bad thing? I found the option of beating the snot out of a group of enemies once in a while somewhat relaxing.

Quote
I feel like I'm playing WoW, right down to the stupidly long ears on my elven character. It's hitting every cliche there is, from dialog trees to character who scream at you that THERE IS NO TIME, but then proceed to talk about everything under the moon if you so wish.
Odd because i didn't notice the elf ears being that long or pointy. At least not when compared to Night Elves from WoW.

Quote
I'm not surprised this thing didn't take the market by storm. There is nothing new or exceptionally well done I've seen so far, from the rambling storyline that starts with your character waking up, to the star-crossed hero of destiny garbage story to stereotypical NPCs with stupid jobs (I'm a FATEWEAVER BRAH! I DON'T ACTUALLY WEAVE FATE, BUT ISN'T MY JOB TITLE COOL BRAH? Now....Tarot Cards! Because MYSTICISM BRAH!")

It sold rather well but didn't even had a chance to repay all the loans the studio took to finish it. Currently the game belongs to Rhode Island. Also the society of prophets and tarot futuretellers decided that Fatepeeper was not serious enough for those dark times and singlemindedly decided to use the title of fateweaver.

Quote
Yeech. I'm glad to know my instincts about what I like and don't like are still sharp and I didn't make a $11+ mistake, but I feel stupid after buying this game. In playing it I started to feel genuinely bad for all developers who are still trying to make "the RPG", and all the contrivances and tropes they require. The horse is fucking dead, gentlemen and lady developers (who don't seem as apt to create this kind of drek.) It's Equine Jerky at this point, it's so thoroughly pulped, shredded, stringy and dessicated. I can't even see this as a game really, just a collection of mechanics and themes that everyone has played 10x over and isn't fresh here.

"Everything that can be invented has been invented." Charles H. Duell
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nenjin

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« Last Edit: June 28, 2014, 07:17:49 pm by nenjin »
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Cautivo del Milagro seamos, Penitente.
Quote from: Viktor Frankl
When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.
Quote from: Sindain
Its kinda silly to complain that a friendly NPC isn't a well designed boss fight.
Quote from: Eric Blank
How will I cheese now assholes?
Quote from: MrRoboto75
Always spaghetti, never forghetti

EnigmaticHat

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Back when it was first getting previews, I took one look at Kingdoms of Alamur and said "that looks generic, not buying it."  Still haven't.
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You misspelled seance.  Are possessing Draignean?  Are you actually a ghost in the shell? You have to tell us if you are, that's the rule
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