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[Avis-Mergulus]

I'm rather annoyed with people saying "Toady, you're way too late. Chop chop."

He'll get there when he gets there.

People still say that? I believe we've had a few threads where the OP was like "Toady, Y U so slow?" and everybody else was like "hey OP, we're the orifice installation service, did you order a new asshole?"

[nenjin]

@BF

I'd just like to add that, there are at least two sides to every tale. Doesn't mean they're even remotely equal, but, still.

FWIW, years later my parents turned out to seem more and less dysfunctional to my adult self. Every kid, even in the best households, comes into conflict with their parents, has a desire for more independence than they're allotted, ect.....

When you start living, acting and thinking independently, you might suddenly find you at least understand your mother's motivations more than you do now. I don't recall you saying but, did she raise you as a single mother?

[TD1]

Her status doesn't really matter that much. Yes, it's hard, but at the end of the day action, not status, is what ultimately defines a person.

[Tiruin]

Edit to my post:
Also tell her what you feel of her actions, BlackFlyme. She needs to know how you feel about them.
Given your response here...you're not pleased that it isn't helping.
Go tell her calmly.

[nenjin]

Her status doesn't really matter that much. Yes, it's hard, but at the end of the day action, not status, is what ultimately defines a person.

Were you raised by a single mother? I was. And it's not about status. It's about pressure and how that pressure gets expressed in family life. The thing about action is, no one is infallible. Everyone acts like a less than stellar human being from time to time. The question that should be asked is: why? Are there circumstances, reasons or catalysts that cause it to happen? Or are they just "terrible human beings." More often than not, it comes down to fear with parents. Fear of the future for their kid. No kid or young adult really understands what that feels like, because likely nothing more than the family pet relies on them.

The point isn't excusing it, the point is understanding it. I used to absolutely hate how my father and I interacted, until I was old enough to understand why as a man. Doesn't mean I eventually approved of how he sometimes handled things. But it allowed me to talk to him about it without anger, with real empathy, because I understood why he was that way.

[BlackFlyme]

I don't recall you saying but, did she raise you as a single mother?

It was split custody between her and my dad, but she slowly started lessening the time I had with him until it went from a direct 50/50 split in time to only seeing him every other weekend.

I did manage to get away for a bit and stay at my dad's when I worked, but I can't get to college from my dad's, so I can't go stay with him right now. Plus they don't really have space for me anyways. My mom would ask me to quit work every once in a while just so I would go back to living with her instead.

I guess she worries too much about me. Though I disagree with her ways of dealing with it.

[nenjin]

I don't recall you saying but, did she raise you as a single mother?

It was split custody between her and my dad, but she slowly started lessening the time I had with him until it went from a direct 50/50 split in time to only seeing him every other weekend.

I did manage to get away for a bit and stay at my dad's when I worked, but I can't get to college from my dad's, so I can't go stay with him right now. Plus they don't really have space for me anyways. My mom would ask me to quit work every once in a while just so I would go back to living with her instead.

I guess she worries too much about me. Though I disagree with her ways of dealing with it.

And she probably worries about being abandoned, eventually. So maybe she over forges the links to her children. My mom's strategy was accommodation, to a point, and eventually making threats I knew she wouldn't make good on. Conversely, I only saw my dad about 3 months out of the year, all at once, and at Christmas. And he, as he put it, "tried to compress a year's worth of parenting into 3 months" with understandably fucked up results.

You can't ever erase the doubts of someone who is committed to having them. But reassuring, instead of fighting your mom, might honestly loosen things up. If you really care about your mom, that'll come through when you go "hey, don't worry. I'll do ok, because you've helped me." That kind of thing. If that seems in contradiction to the advice I gave above, it's not. You've got to attack her fears from both sides of the spectrum, like making her feel she's been doing some good by you, but also showing her how she's running the risk of hurting you too. My mom was always pretty strong for her kids, but it didn't take much to crack the outer shell and show how stressed she was, and how vulnerable she felt. Being nice and understanding is usually what did it.

It's weird as you get older how you start finding ways to check the people your parents are, compensating in some ways. I didn't do it very well at all until I hit my 30s. My relationship with my dad at least was a post-teenage train wreck, until we had it out in a big moment of unleashing 20 years of tension between us. I wouldn't recommend going that (relative) route with your mom.

[BlackFlyme]

I should start bettering myself. I'm honestly nowhere near prepared for life outside the home.

I don't know where to start though. I'm no good with emotions, and there are a lot of things I'm resentful over.

[Tiruin]

Set a point to start with. I'd advise an approach.

Though also to follow nenjin. If you've a problem-voice it, then communicate to reach an understanding. There are so many people who mean well that...don't seem to mean well in their execution of the act.

*cheer cheer* You can do it!

[Mr. Strange]

My mom would ask me to quit work every once in a while just so I would go back to living with her instead.

All my no. Unless you were working in some fast food joint flipping burgers and going nowhere there's no reason why she should ever ask something like that.

I should start bettering myself. I'm honestly nowhere near prepared for life outside the home.

I don't know where to start though. I'm no good with emotions, and there are a lot of things I'm resentful over.

I'd suggest you get a job you like doing. It doesn't have to pay well, or be "cool" and respected, just do what you want for a while, part-time, full-time, doesn't matter. It'll help you build up your confidence and your social skills when you are doing something you like. At least it worked for me.

I'll stop giving advise to people now, nothing good never come out of it.

[BlackFlyme]

I had a factory job. I'm not sure if it is still available to me, since things have been slow lately. I tried working convenience once, but it was not fun.

Though gaining some actual social skills would be nice. I can't even maintain eye-contact to save my life. And the 'robot' label I've had since grade school is wearing a little thin.

[TD1]

So, nothing that involves the public? Depends on where your skills lie. An office job? Fisherman? Could be anything. But I wish you the best of luck; I'm fortunate in regards to parents, I just wish everyone else could be too.

[Sinistar]

I decided some time ago that I would not rage about this subject.

But again it has come to a point where I would like to smack some high-ranking officials that are responsible for the way YouTube is changing.

And as if implementing art-school dropout/graduate level of bad, obnoxious design choices isn't enough, even the sole implementation of said choices is horrible.

One of these days, I swear...some heads are gonna roll.

Now excuse me, I have to go bang my head against the wall, the numbing pain afterwards is a real pleasure compared to act of just thinking about this youtube-related shenanigans.

arghwblbgrsdfg

[MaximumZero]

The wonders of technology:
Try printing off CV. Printer cable is missing.
Try using our wireless printer. The way of getting it to work is needlessly complex, and so I'm unable to do it (it's not that I'm misunderstanding it- the actual way of turning it on, connecting it to the wifi, then connecting it to the computer via wifi is just retardedly complicated.) seeing as the person who knows how to do it isn't at home.

Wireless printing is easy, dudebro. Turn wireless on on printer control deck. Select wi-fi network. Input password. Hit print on device. Collect paper. If anything weird comes up, like IP weirdness, I'd be happy to walk you through it.

[MaximumZero]

Go into your wifi settings and lock the printer to one channel?