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[nenjin]

I love it when drivers see an object coming towards them at a high rate of speed and go "Hey, let me pull out in front of them to see if they can stop in time."

I'm used to people doing BS "go ahead and hit me" games like that. But this lady had her fucking kids in the back of the car. Yes, you win Top Mother of The Year Award, you fucking dipshit. Either you're a terrible driver, a terrible mother, or more likely both at the same time.

[IronTomato]

My brother is a douche of such intense magnitude that words cannot describe it.

I was playing Mortal Kombat.

He was walking in and out of the room making extremely annoying noises and calling me gay, usually at the same time, in mildly creative ways. Just like always.

I screamed at him numerous times to stop. Just like always.

He did not stop. Or even visibly consider it. Just like always.

After about 10 minutes of this, I began to put the controller away, and tried to go downstairs, which he yelled at me for just like always.

What did he say? He said that he doesn't want me to go storming downstairs like always (Holy hypocritical, batman!) and get him in trouble.

I then angrily explained to him that he was pissing me off intentionally and for no reason without stopping, even though I told him to stop many, many times. He listened for longer than he usually does when I do that.

He grabs me and continues to yell at me, and due to being genuinely enraged I slugged him several times in the side and back. He punched me in the side of the head, it simply went numb for a second. It was then that I realized that the rest of my body was also numb, and it was shaking, because I was angry to a higher degree than I had ever been. That's saying a lot, since I'm a patient person.

Someone tell me what to do, because I don't know anymore. Mum and dad know that he does this, and they punish him for it, but he just keeps it up like it's some joke. I have no doubt that he's driven me insane in some way, since he does this several times a day every day (And has been doing it for years) except for when people are watching.

Also, he's my supposed twin.

[Frumple]

HP's bloatware bullshit can shove itself right up its own arse.

... as can windows 8 as a general proposition.

Still. Classic shell on the thing, HP's crap ripped out. Computer's using something like a third the ram and is actually responding somewhat reasonably. Thank Zeus I don't actually have to use the damned thing.

[MaximumZero]

My brother is a douche of such intense magnitude that words cannot describe it.

I was playing Mortal Kombat.

He was walking in and out of the room making extremely annoying noises and calling me gay, usually at the same time, in mildly creative ways. Just like always.

I screamed at him numerous times to stop. Just like always.

He did not stop. Or even visibly consider it. Just like always.

After about 10 minutes of this, I began to put the controller away, and tried to go downstairs, which he yelled at me for just like always.

What did he say? He said that he doesn't want me to go storming downstairs like always (Holy hypocritical, batman!) and get him in trouble.

I then angrily explained to him that he was pissing me off intentionally and for no reason without stopping, even though I told him to stop many, many times. He listened for longer than he usually does when I do that.

He grabs me and continues to yell at me, and due to being genuinely enraged I slugged him several times in the side and back. He punched me in the side of the head, it simply went numb for a second. It was then that I realized that the rest of my body was also numb, and it was shaking, because I was angry to a higher degree than I had ever been. That's saying a lot, since I'm a patient person.

Someone tell me what to do, because I don't know anymore. Mum and dad know that he does this, and they punish him for it, but he just keeps it up like it's some joke. I have no doubt that he's driven me insane in some way, since he does this several times a day every day (And has been doing it for years) except for when people are watching.

Also, he's my supposed twin.

Next time he grabs you, wrap your arms around his head and hold on for dear life, then lift your knee straight into his crotch repeatedly until he throws up. There's no such thing as a fair fight.

Failing that, ignore him, he's just looking for attention and doesn't know how to do so properly.

[Descan]

Have him committed. He sounds nuts.

Or rather, pull an elaborate scheme so he'll THINK you're having him committed.

Then punch him in the nuts.

[nenjin]

*snip*

That's typical brother shit. One is usually the aggressor, and one is the victim. Basically, you need to learn to ignore him when he does anything non-physical. Trust me, I know how hard that is, I have an older brother.

If he does stuff like walk right up to your ear in shout in it.....

Seriously. Just punch him in the balls and go back to your business. Your anger and frustration is what feeds him. Sack tapping him and being completely calm about it is something he won't know how to react to, initially. Later he'll get enraged and come after you, but, that's brothers for you. What you're trying to accomplish is showing him that he can't reach you emotionally. Pissing you off is a game to him, he's having fun emotionally manipulating someone. It's called being an asshole.

On the plus side, I got my brother back by mercilessly ransacking the shit out of his room because I felt like it (and had years of payback to do) and by managing to be hipper and cooler than him growing up.

I don't really expect you to take this to heart, I certainly didn't growing up and my brother continued to be a pain in my ass until I started getting psychotically violent with him. That sent the same message, in an unhealthy way. You need to get over the fact he's capable of violating your personal space; family has that power where most other people don't (or it's a crime for them to do so.) That's just life, not everything about it is sacrosanct and that's a fact your brother uses against you. Appreciate how petty he's being for his own personal amusement, and refuse to feed that pathetic cycle of self-indulgence. When you can do it for real, as in, stop giving a fuck about his pettiness, he'll find he's wasting energy and getting no laughs out of it.

Clearly though, the right answer involves violence of some kind against his genitals.

[IronTomato]

Next time he grabs you, wrap your arms around his head and hold on for dear life, then lift your knee straight into his crotch repeatedly until he throws up. There's no such thing as a fair fight.

Failing that, ignore him, he's just looking for attention and doesn't know how to do so properly.

Have him committed. He sounds nuts.

Or rather, pull an elaborate scheme so he'll THINK you're having him committed.

Then punch him in the nuts.

*snip*

That's typical brother shit. One is usually the aggressor, and one is the victim. Basically, you need to learn to ignore him when he does anything non-physical. Trust me, I know how hard that is, I have an older brother.

If he does stuff like walk right up to your ear in shout in it.....

Seriously. Just punch him in the balls and go back to your business. Your anger and frustration is what feeds him. Sack tapping him and being completely calm about it is something he won't know how to react to, initially. Later he'll get enraged and come after you, but, that's brothers for you. What you're trying to accomplish is showing him that he can't reach you emotionally. Pissing you off is a game to him, he's having fun emotionally manipulating someone. It's called being an asshole.

On the plus side, I got him back by mercilessly ransacking the shit out of his room because I felt like it (and had years of payback to do) and by managing to be hipper and cooler than him growing up.

I don't really expect you to take this to heart, I certainly didn't growing up and my brother continued to be a pain in my ass until I started getting psychotically violent with him. That sent the same message, in an unhealthy way. You need to get over the fact he's capable of violating your personal space; family has that power where most other people don't (or it's a crime for them to do so.) That's just life, not everything about it is sacrosanct and that's a fact your brother uses against you. Appreciate how petty he's being for his own personal amusement, and refuse to feed that pathetic cycle of self-indulgence. When you can do it for real, as in, stop giving a fuck about his pettiness, he'll find he's wasting energy and getting no laughs out of it.

Clearly though, the right answer involves violence of some kind against his genitals.

ENOUGH NUTPUNCH SUGGESTIONS, I don't like hurting people. Or anything, besides plants (because homegrown veggies). The only reason I tried to hurt him was because I exploded.

I've tried ignoring him, but after 14 years it doesn't seem to work too well. He just sings and does random things that he knows makes me mad, and continues to do so indefinitely.

I know how hard that is, I have an older brother.

I'm not sure if this is what you meant, but He's 1 minute older than me. We were born on the same day, same year.

EDIT: He's tried punching me in the region, but I honest to god didn't feel a thing. I don't know if it was for the same reason as when I felt nothing this time, but if it matters, or if the same thing will happen to him, yep.

BIGGEREDIT: We've had fights that were smaller than this, and I got in more trouble than he did, because mum says that I started a fistfight, and when I tried to finish explaining the whole story, she just interrupted me. I told her she wasn't listening, but she insisted she was. Both of us said nothing to them about it this time, kind of an unspoken code, because they've threatened to put me on medication if it happens again (And probably him too).

[Neonivek]

Ohh my are people's emotions and feelings complicated. For example

He was annoying you intentionally... But I doubt he wanted you to get really mad. Yet he knew he was making you mad.

Hurray!

Anyhow, my solution? Try to find activities you can do without his interference. Just don't give him the chance to annoy you.

[Sirus]

I love it when drivers see an object coming towards them at a high rate of speed and go "Hey, let me pull out in front of them to see if they can stop in time."

I'm used to people doing BS "go ahead and hit me" games like that. But this lady had her fucking kids in the back of the car. Yes, you win Top Mother of The Year Award, you fucking dipshit. Either you're a terrible driver, a terrible mother, or more likely both at the same time.

You know how big trucks have those "wide turns" stickers? I hate it when people ignore those and try to cut me off on the inside curve. Congratulations dipshit, you could have been run over and killed, all to save a second of time.
>:X

[IronTomato]

Try to find activities you can do without his interference.

He has legs, I haven't been able to do that in quite a long time... I'll think about it some more, though.

[Neonivek]

Try to find activities you can do without his interference.

He has legs, I haven't been able to do that in quite a long time... I'll think about it some more, though.

Legs, not teleportation.

You can go out for example. You could ask for a lock for your room under the pretense that you wouldn't get in so many fights (assuming you don't share a room)

I will say that no matter what happens... he won't stop. Mostly because his issues cannot be resolved.

As well your parents won't do anything because they are clearly stepping back.

[nenjin]

I'm not sure if this is what you meant, but He's 1 minute older than me. We were born on the same day, same year.

What I mean is, if you think a sibling that's your age is bad, try being a younger brother.

He just sings and does random things that he knows makes me mad, and continues to do so indefinitely.

He does them because it annoys you. If you're annoyed, he will do it. And that's a fact. Since nothing you can do or say will make him stop, the only other solution is.....get past your annoyance. You have to master it to get him to fuck off. There is no situation where you get to stay annoyed by his behavior and he won't do it, because the two are intrinsically linked.

He's tried punching me in the region, but I honest to god didn't feel a thing. I don't know if it was for the same reason as when I felt nothing this time, but if it matters, or if the same thing will happen to him, yep.

He didn't do it right. It's not the kind of pain you can ignore, anymore than you can ignore someone gouging your eyes out.

[ggamer]

Start fucking with him. The only way to get back at people calling you gay is to prove them right as exxageratedly as possible

Just imagine

"Sup' gay ass bitch"

"OH BROTHER, YOUR MEAN WORDS CANNOT HARM MY LOVE FOR YOU"

"What"

"TAKE ME AWAY FROM THIS AWFUL PLACE WHERE I CAN BE CLOSE TO YOU"

"What"

"YOU HEARD ME BITCH, YOU ARE TAKING ME OUT TO DINNER RIGHT NOW"

If he's a good brother he'll play along. If he's a false-brother he'll react violently. Jumping in his arms is recommended, but not necessary.

[IronTomato]

That's... Actually a really good idea.

[MetalSlimeHunt]

No, it's really not. The way to get back at him is to retaliate, whether you like it or not.