I've tried opening up to my mother many times, she either closes up or uses it as a chance to throw more emotional abuse my way. I even tried talking to her while I was in the hospital, the closest she got was mentioning that her father had real bad migraines, but then she went back to complaining and poking fun at me. I honestly believe her parents were both emotionally abusive, but either she decided to pass on the abuse or she didn't have a good role model to compare the abuse to (my dad is an amazing person, so I've had another perspective, I just hope I don't end up like my mother). I'm definitely looking for work now, my boyfriend is helping a lot with building my resume and making a good impression. No wonder it's been so hard for me to find work, I had no idea how to do any of that right.
I'm actually not graduating, I'm dropping out a year short of finishing the three year program. This may be difficult for me to relate, since I tend to be bad at relating things. I'm going to the Art Institute of Seattle, and it's not a good school and a very frustrating place. Best way to describe it, it costs a LOT in loans, doesn't teach nearly enough, and is often out of date or outright wrong. Their standards are sky high, but the teaching rarely if ever supports that. I've sat in on the portfolio reviews of almost every graduation class since I started (people graduate every quarter) and I've rarely seen more than one person graduate (per quarter) who seemed ready to find a job. The only people who do well are either very talented or have a bachelors in fine arts before they came here. I'm also starting to think I don't even like the subject. I've been sneaking off to take better classes at another college, and... no interest. I want to learn the subject, yet I can't summon up the motivation to do the work.
I need a break, if anything. I want to spend six months working and out of school. I need to get out of school. I don't need credits, or another degree, I need to GET OUT. My motivation for school is long gone. I also want to get away from my mother at last.