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[Bdthemag]

Why is it that when a straight man is uncomfortable seeing something that he doesn't find sexually appealing, he's secretly compensating for something? It doesn't seem to apply the other way around.

[Max White]

Because if a straight man is uncomfortable with homosexuality then you can safely piss him off by calling him gay. If he tried the same to you in retaliation, well who cares? Might as well call you blond or left handed.

It is primarily a shock tactic best utilized by George Takei, good god he does that well.

[Bdthemag]

There's a difference between being uncomfortable with homosexuality, and being uncomfortable with lewd/pornographic images involving homosexual men. What if someone sent you porn (I understand at best the picture was just probably two guys rubbing up against each other) or some kind of explicit picture out of the blue, and it wasn't exactly something you'd get a kick out of?

I mean, a lot of straight guys are totally fine with homosexual people. It's just depending on where you live, you won't see a whole lot of those kind of relationships so it can still be uncomfortable to you, whether you approve of it or not.

[Knight of Fools]

As a 100% straight dude, if someone calls me gay, I fidget like a little school girl and coyly say, "Only for you, baby." Usually shuts them up pretty quick, and I've even made some friends out of doing it because they found it funny.


But yeah. I don't think it's fair to rage against someone that you sent a personal message to that contains something that may make them uncomfortable. If you don't know a person well enough to know that it will put them off then yeah, you probably should follow their advice. They may not be really offended, but it may have unsettled them.

Best to apologize, not do it again, and move on. It's not like he went off into an anti gay rant or anything. I mean, he's your friend, right?

[Bdthemag]

As a 100% straight dude, if someone calls me gay, I fidget like a little school girl and coyly say, "Only for you, baby." Usually shuts them up pretty quick, and I've even made some friends out of doing it because they found it funny.

This is completely and totally unrelated, but it reminds me of a time me and a friend were joking around with two random chicks we met in a hotel. We were talking for awhile, and I was talking about how us two were hanging out all weekend. One of them joked and asked if we were gay, and I smiled and said "Oh yeah, totally. We've been going steady for a year now." He went along with this perfectly. So for ten minutes, we got two random girls to think we were a gay couple. Although as soon as I couldn't help myself from laughing, we told them it we were joking around. Oddly enough, they weren't as interested in talking to us when they found out we weren't gay. We still bring it up and laugh about it today, probably one of the best jokes we've pulled since we sold it so well (I can fully predict the jokes and assumptions made in response to this.)

[Knight of Fools]

Oddly enough, they weren't as interested in talking to us when they found out we weren't gay.

This is probably the one thing I find wrong with the world, and is perfectly rage worthy.


But yeah. Sometimes I'm a little too comfortable with joking about being gay, and have to lay off so I don't make other people uncomfortable or make people think I'm really gay (Especially girls I'm attracted to). Makes things awkward when you go to the same church as most of your friends.

Of course, if women are more interested in gay men... hm...

[Scelly9]

Of course, if women are more interested in gay men... hm...

This is a thing. A fucking big thing that pisses me off.

[Bdthemag]

I guess a lot of women have a stereotypical view of gay men, where they assume every gay man is basically just a really girly guy, who they can talk to about stuff they're interested in. I had a gay friend who was so incredibly pissed off by this, he'd basically not tell any women he met he was gay.

[Euld]

I guess this situation hit quite a few buttons all at once.  Myself, I'd be fine if someone posted fanart of my favorite two heroines in a similar situation.  I'm extremely jaded... but I figured this friend was too.  His favorite character to draw is a fictional serial killer haunted by the soul of a satanic dead baby.  He's definitely not a virgin, and we both go to art school where we draw naked models on a fairly regular basis.  I wonder if he was more offended by the Spiderman/Deadpool romance than the homosexuality?  No idea.

What really got me is I have no idea where people's limits are, and when you hit them, they freak out, as if their limitations on what's appropriate are obvious to everyone around them.  When someone actually hits my limit (which is pretty impressive) I try to be polite as possible about it 'cause I know it's embarrassing for both people involved.

It could also be because I had a crush on him ages ago, which I was open to him about and he politely declined.  I think I struggled with letting go of it, 'cause we got along really well and had a lot in common.  Maybe he thinks I'm still trying to make sexual advances?  I don't mean to come across that way...

Either way I'm not apologizing, but I might just quietly fume for a few days to get over it.  I think most of my RAEG is irrational anyway.

[Xantalos]

Waitwaitwait, Spiderman/Deadpool? That explains everything.

[Knight of Fools]

It might be useful to get what the tone behind the words were, if you wanted to smooth things over. If that's all he said, that may have been his version of being as polite as possible without beating about the bush. Some guys can be pretty blunt, and we don't always have a good idea of how our text messages may convey a meaning we're not trying to present. Most of the dudes I know can't even convey subtlety in person.

Of course the same can be said about people in general, but in my experience testosterone makes you more oaf than diplomat.

[Max White]

There's a difference between being uncomfortable with homosexuality, and being uncomfortable with lewd/pornographic images involving homosexual men. What if someone sent you porn (I understand at best the picture was just probably two guys rubbing up against each other) or some kind of explicit picture out of the blue, and it wasn't exactly something you'd get a kick out of?

Historically, my reaction has been of  'Well ok, what ever.'
I mean I have been to some pretty raunchy gay bars. They had large screens with softcore porn. Did not really care.

Seriously, I will never understand why people are so scared of a sexuality that is not their own.

[Knight of Fools]

I think that's a bit unfair. You can't always choose what makes you uncomfortable or what turns you on, regardless of how you feel about letting people do their own thing. Just because you don't mind homosexuality doesn't mean you must be okay with watching portrayals of it.

I mean, most people aren't remotely comfortable about sharing porn with friends who share their sexuality, much less porn that portrays actions that they personally find uncomfortable in some way. I mean, yeah, if you go to a gay bar don't expect to be catered to just because you're straight, but if you're minding your own business and someone sends you a message that may push those same buttons? I think that's on the person sending the message, not the person receiving it and feeling uncomfortable.

It gets taken to a whole 'nother level when it's something explicit about a character or person you're emotionally invested in. If you saw a portrayal of someone you saw as a hero doing something that you felt was wrong on some level, even if you're not homophobic or anything, it pushes those same buttons a bit harder.


Not that I think Euld did anything worth being berated for. The picture didn't contain actual porn (From what I can tell), so it may have just made the guy uncomfortable on some level that Euld wasn't expecting. It sounds like a simple misunderstanding with both parties.


_{Also, the "I'm Stupid" Moment of the Day: Euld, I just glanced at your profile and realized you're a dude. Makes my last post come across as a bit silly. I feel like a dolt now.}

[kingfisher1112]

There's a difference between being uncomfortable with homosexuality, and being uncomfortable with lewd/pornographic images involving homosexual men. What if someone sent you porn (I understand at best the picture was just probably two guys rubbing up against each other) or some kind of explicit picture out of the blue, and it wasn't exactly something you'd get a kick out of?

Historically, my reaction has been of  'Well ok, what ever.'
I mean I have been to some pretty raunchy gay bars. They had large screens with softcore porn. Did not really care.

Seriously, I will never understand why people are so scared of a sexuality that is not their own.

Because, it's confronting. It's a rare thing. It's, well, how do I say this without pissing off everybody, abnormal. You could go your whole life without ever seeing homosexual conduct in public or otherwise. It's out of the blue, bam. You've gotten used to straight couples, but it's just really weird to see this new thing.

And dislike of homosexuals is not a "fear"

[Dutchling]

I've actually seen the pics and I wouldn't describe it as 'pornographic' (hilarious would be better ). It wouldn't be on Imgur's most viral if it was.

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