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Author Topic: Things that made you RRRRRRAAAAGGGGEEEE today: Trust-o-nomics Edition  (Read 3708484 times)

Loud Whispers

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Well I guess I would die. I mean in all realism chances are I would die. There is no strategy that does not involve a lot of luck and not loosing my nerve, so I'm going to lock in 'Welp, I'm fucked!'
Against a cougar? Should be a tad more killable.
Break ya neck.

To be fair though, all cases can be solved by being covered in eagles and dogs trained to your virtuous cause 24/7.

Xantalos

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Well I guess I would die. I mean in all realism chances are I would die. There is no strategy that does not involve a lot of luck and not loosing my nerve, so I'm going to lock in 'Welp, I'm fucked!'
Against a cougar? Should be a tad more killable.
Break ya neck.

To be fair though, all cases can be solved by being covered in eagles and dogs trained to your virtuous cause 24/7.
Hmm ... so if it jumps at me like so, then ajkhtiaufaghdskifugauifgasudg

*Xantalos descends into mumbling*
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Quote from: BFEL
XANTALOS, THE KARATEBOMINATION
Quote from: Toaster
((The Xantalos Die: [1, 1, 1, 6, 6, 6]))

SalmonGod

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Don't know if it's true, but I've heard one story about a guy who was confronted by a bear while hiking in the mountains.  It stood up and roared at him.  He roared back at it, as loud as he could.  The bear left.

If that doesn't work (and you refuse to play dead, which is what you're supposed to do), shoving your knife down the bear's throat might not be the worst idea.  Stabbing it in the eye would be better, but I imagine you'd get one shot before you're knocked to the ground and being helplessly mauled.  Since the bear will likely be trying to bite you anyway, you would probably have a better chance of getting your hand down its throat, or the attempt might even confuse it.  Keep as firm a grip as possible on that knife and tear its throat up.  You'll fuck up your arm horribly, but the rest of you might not get mauled as badly as it would have otherwise before the bear starts desperately choking and trying to get away from this horrible poison.  Animals generally will not fight through vital wounds unless they're cornered or defending their offspring.

Disclaimer:  I could be horribly wrong.  This is my completely unprofessional reaction to Loud Whisper's idea.
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In the land of twilight, under the moon
We dance for the idiots
As the end will come so soon
In the land of twilight

Maybe people should love for the sake of loving, and not with all of these optimization conditions.

Loud Whispers

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To be fair it's not my idea, it's some other guy's idea.

It worked.

Xantalos

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Don't know if it's true, but I've heard one story about a guy who was confronted by a bear while hiking in the mountains.  It stood up and roared at him.  He roared back at it, as loud as he could.  The bear left.

If that doesn't work (and you refuse to play dead, which is what you're supposed to do), shoving your knife down the bear's throat might not be the worst idea.  Stabbing it in the eye would be better, but I imagine you'd get one shot before you're knocked to the ground and being helplessly mauled.  Since the bear will likely be trying to bite you anyway, you would probably have a better chance of getting your hand down its throat, or the attempt might even confuse it.  Keep as firm a grip as possible on that knife and tear its throat up.  You'll fuck up your arm horribly, but the rest of you might not get mauled as badly as it would have otherwise before the bear starts desperately choking and trying to get away from this horrible poison.  Animals generally will not fight through vital wounds unless they're cornered or defending their offspring.

Disclaimer:  I could be horribly wrong.  This is my completely unprofessional reaction to Loud Whisper's idea.
Note for cougarfighting that will probably never work: If you're pinned by the couger, it must be male for this to work.
1. Kick it in the nuts.
2. Get the hell out from under cougar.
3.Stabstabstab
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Sig! Onol
Quote from: BFEL
XANTALOS, THE KARATEBOMINATION
Quote from: Toaster
((The Xantalos Die: [1, 1, 1, 6, 6, 6]))

Loud Whispers

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Note for cougarfighting that will probably never work: If you're pinned by the couger, it must be male for this to work.
1. Kick it in the nuts.
2. Get the hell out from under cougar.
3.Stabstabstab

1. Dig a hole.
2. Cover hole with big rock.
3. Cry self into coma.

Xantalos

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And thus the thread was derailed with speculation on how to kill a cougar.
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Quote from: BFEL
XANTALOS, THE KARATEBOMINATION
Quote from: Toaster
((The Xantalos Die: [1, 1, 1, 6, 6, 6]))

Bdthemag

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Really, if anyone is ever confronted by a vicious animal and it's highly unlikely they'll survive, they may as well go out in style. Just think of what people would say when they heard that their friend died by running up to a bear, and punching it in the face. Hell, I doubt they'd be talking more about how fucking awesome that was than how sad they were that you died.
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Well, you do have a busy life, what with keeping tabs on wild, rough-and-tumble forum members while sorting out the drama between your twenty two inner lesbians.
Your drunk posts continue to baffle me.
Welcome to Reality.

Xantalos

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Really, if anyone is ever confronted by a vicious animal and it's highly unlikely they'll survive, they may as well go out in style. Just think of what people would say when they heard that their friend died by running up to a bear, and punching it in the face. Hell, I doubt they'd be talking more about how fucking awesome that was than how sad they were that you died.
This. Flying sidekick go!
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Sig! Onol
Quote from: BFEL
XANTALOS, THE KARATEBOMINATION
Quote from: Toaster
((The Xantalos Die: [1, 1, 1, 6, 6, 6]))

Frumple

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... did Batman ever bludgeon a bear to death with Robin? Also that... that might be euphemism? Gods, I don't know. I don't think I want to know.
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Ask not!
What your country can hump for you.
Ask!
What you can hump for your country.

Xantalos

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... did Batman ever bludgeon a bear to death with Robin? Also that... that might be euphemism? Gods, I don't know. I don't think I want to know.
Batman: beating grizzly bears to death with small birds since the 1940s.
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Sig! Onol
Quote from: BFEL
XANTALOS, THE KARATEBOMINATION
Quote from: Toaster
((The Xantalos Die: [1, 1, 1, 6, 6, 6]))

SalmonGod

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... did Batman ever bludgeon a bear to death with Robin? Also that... that might be euphemism? Gods, I don't know. I don't think I want to know.
Batman: beating grizzly bears to death with small birds since the 1940s.

Why not?  He boxed with Superman.
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In the land of twilight, under the moon
We dance for the idiots
As the end will come so soon
In the land of twilight

Maybe people should love for the sake of loving, and not with all of these optimization conditions.

Akura

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... did Batman ever bludgeon a bear to death with Robin? Also that... that might be euphemism? Gods, I don't know. I don't think I want to know.
Batman: beating grizzly bears to death with small birds since the 1940s.

Why not?  He boxed with Superman.
To a stalemate, no less.
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MonkeyHead

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Really, if anyone is ever confronted by a vicious animal and it's highly unlikely they'll survive, they may as well go out in style. Just think of what people would say when they heard that their friend died by running up to a bear, and punching it in the face. Hell, I doubt they'd be talking more about how fucking awesome that was than how sad they were that you died.

IIRC, punching a Bear in the face is actually a good idea - it has a massive number of nerve endings in its nose and a good old bop to them has been known to make them run away (that last bit is sketchy - I might actually mean "flip thier shit"). You can't outrun them, climbing a tree won't work, playing dead, small or angry tends not to work.

Sharks, now smacking them in the nose is a good idea, if you can manage it through water. Again, lots of nerve endings in that spot that wont respond in a positive manner to a bopping.
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Sirus

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I've heard that punching sharks in the gills can also have that effect. I guess it would be like punching a human in the throat.
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And lo! Sirus did drive his mighty party truck unto Vegas, and it was good.

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