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[penguinofhonor]

Whatever animal is making this annoying noise outside my window better be glad I don't hurt animals.

[Descan]

I know what's talkin' about. My cable box doesn't have any buttons on it at all (not even a power button), and manipulating the TV channels only changes the TV channels, not the box. You just end up going off cable, and a nice white snowy pattern emerges.

[penguinofhonor]

I went outside to investigate and the source of the noise moved. I'm assuming that it's an invisible cat in heat.

[MaximumZero]

Someone in my apartment keeps on trying to feed the TV remote to the recliner with his ass, and I mean that quite literally. Just another reason why I don't want to live on this planet anymore.

I think I'd just take to changing the channel manually. Just sayin'. 

You can't do that with Comcast.

Reason Comcast sucks #849: Inability to get around your roommates' attempts to manipulate the remote with their anus.

you can tell your roommate to find a new toy plz

Knuckles work really well for that request. Just saying.

[miauw62]

Someone in my apartment keeps on trying to feed the TV remote to the recliner with his ass, and I mean that quite literally. Just another reason why I don't want to live on this planet anymore.

I think I'd just take to changing the channel manually. Just sayin'. 

You can't do that with Comcast.

Reason Comcast sucks #849: Inability to get around your roommates' attempts to manipulate the remote with their anus.

you can tell your roommate to find a new toy plz

Knuckles work really well for that request. Just saying.

Bee fisting? I'm a terrible person.

[MaximumZero]

Someone in my apartment keeps on trying to feed the TV remote to the recliner with his ass, and I mean that quite literally. Just another reason why I don't want to live on this planet anymore.

I think I'd just take to changing the channel manually. Just sayin'. 

You can't do that with Comcast.

Reason Comcast sucks #849: Inability to get around your roommates' attempts to manipulate the remote with their anus.

you can tell your roommate to find a new toy plz

Knuckles work really well for that request. Just saying.

Bee fisting? I'm a terrible person.

No, no, no. Also no. Tell them that your friend, Mr. Fist, would like to have a conversation with their face if they keep ass-grabbing the remote. Making Mr. Fist into a hand puppet is optional, but encouraged.

[Skold]

Someone in my apartment keeps on trying to feed the TV remote to the recliner with his ass, and I mean that quite literally. Just another reason why I don't want to live on this planet anymore.

I think I'd just take to changing the channel manually. Just sayin'. 

You can't do that with Comcast.

Reason Comcast sucks #849: Inability to get around your roommates' attempts to manipulate the remote with their anus.

you can tell your roommate to find a new toy plz

Knuckles work really well for that request. Just saying.

Bee fisting? I'm a terrible person.

No, no, no. Also no. Tell them that your friend, Mr. Fist, would like to have a conversation with their face if they keep ass-grabbing the remote. Making Mr. Fist into a hand puppet is optional, but encouraged.

I'm a pacifist so that isn't an option.

[Guardian G.I.]

My laptop's hard drive disk is failing. Damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it...

[MaximumZero]

Someone in my apartment keeps on trying to feed the TV remote to the recliner with his ass, and I mean that quite literally. Just another reason why I don't want to live on this planet anymore.

I think I'd just take to changing the channel manually. Just sayin'. 

You can't do that with Comcast.

Reason Comcast sucks #849: Inability to get around your roommates' attempts to manipulate the remote with their anus.

you can tell your roommate to find a new toy plz

Knuckles work really well for that request. Just saying.

Bee fisting? I'm a terrible person.

No, no, no. Also no. Tell them that your friend, Mr. Fist, would like to have a conversation with their face if they keep ass-grabbing the remote. Making Mr. Fist into a hand puppet is optional, but encouraged.

I'm a pacifist so that isn't an option.

I would be happy to be your Mr. Fist, but I have a feeling you wouldn't like that option, either. No one lets me punch anyone anymore!

[Skold]

Someone in my apartment keeps on trying to feed the TV remote to the recliner with his ass, and I mean that quite literally. Just another reason why I don't want to live on this planet anymore.

I think I'd just take to changing the channel manually. Just sayin'. 

You can't do that with Comcast.

Reason Comcast sucks #849: Inability to get around your roommates' attempts to manipulate the remote with their anus.

you can tell your roommate to find a new toy plz

Knuckles work really well for that request. Just saying.

Bee fisting? I'm a terrible person.

No, no, no. Also no. Tell them that your friend, Mr. Fist, would like to have a conversation with their face if they keep ass-grabbing the remote. Making Mr. Fist into a hand puppet is optional, but encouraged.

I'm a pacifist so that isn't an option.

I would be happy to be your Mr. Fist, but I have a feeling you wouldn't like that option, either. No one lets me punch anyone anymore!

Right about now I would rather someone be my Yoko Ono and follow me whereever I go. This may mean that I am in the mood to listen to some music by the Barenaked Ladies. That band has been a favorite of mine since I was very young. Right now I could use some cheering up.

[Aerie]

I break out in a fit of pre-emptive rage whenever I see the following email:

[The Darkling Wolf]

My condolences for the brain cells you will inevitably facepalm to death upon reading the reply.

[MaximumZero]

That's why I do my best not to sign into Yahoo. I mean, every time I sign in, I leave smartass comments, and then they get dumbass replies, and I want to punch someone, but they haven't invented modem-compatible fists yet.

[Aklyon]

My laptop's hard drive disk is failing. Damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it...

Stop swearing at us and go save your stuff!

[nenjin]

Good lord, clients. Make up your fucking minds already. Having changed stuff back and forth at least twice in the last three weeks, you'd THINK, by now, they've decided what they want.