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[MaximumZero]

fucking masturbating while you think I can't hear you three feet away will regularly keep me from getting any REM sleep at all.

Take a crotchshot at him. I'd recommend a solid crushing kick since he's presumably laying down half conscious from the drunken stupor....bonus sadistic points if you nail him while he's in the middle of it.

If I had a roommate stupid enough to do that I'd teach that effer some self-restraint the hard way.

He masturbates while you're in the room? Uh. Wow. I won't directly condone dumping a bucket of cold water on him whenever he does it, however amusing that would be.

Welp, now you've found the perfect time to spray him with Sriracha/habanero oil/mace/whatever else would burn like a motherfucking house fire on your 'nads.

[MaximumZero]

-snip- Sorry 'bout the doublepost, guys.

[kaijyuu]

-snip- Sorry 'bout the doublepost, guys.

RAAAAAAAAAAAGEEEEEE- no really it's fine

[MaximumZero]

-snip- Sorry 'bout the doublepost, guys.

RAAAAAAAAAAAGEEEEEE- no really it's fine

What, you gonna facepunch me? I bet you'd do other things to my face.

[kaijyuu]

Dude, even if I succeeded in hitting you, it'd be like being hit by a 4 year old.

Wait, your 4 year old's badass. A normal 4 year old.

[Tellemurius]

Hmm kai so if i can get that register right, i could take you out with one hand.

[MaximumZero]

Kai is a stick figure.

[Tellemurius]

i draw stick figures

[kaijyuu]

Hmm kai so if i can get that register right, i could take you out with one hand.

Likely, yes

[nenjin]

If he's jerking off in the same room as you, you could make the argument to your RA that he's officially crossed the line of acceptable dorm behavior. People having zero respect for your personal space and having sex in your presence in college isn't exactly uncommon....but whacking it around someone else is distinctly different.

Personally, I wouldn't have even tried to ignore it. I would have just shouted out right there, without even looking at him "WHAT THE FUCK MAN!"

[MetalSlimeHunt]

I was too shocked and disgusted to react. If he does it again I'm definitely yelling at him.

I think he's addicted to pornography on top of everything. And by addicted, I mean that I've caught him more than once not doing anything, just....watching. On his phone, on his computer, it's honestly kind of disturbing.

[MaximumZero]

If he's jerking off in the same room as you, you could make the argument to your RA that he's officially crossed the line of acceptable dorm behavior. People having zero respect for your personal space and having sex in your presence in college isn't exactly uncommon....but whacking it around someone else is distinctly different.

Personally, I wouldn't have even tried to ignore it. I would have just shouted out right there, without even looking at him "WHAT THE FUCK MAN!"

Roomie is already so far over the line that there should have been changes made a long, long time ago. I'd have beaten his ass with a baseball bat a month ago, possibly more. MSH is a pillar of self control.

[FearfulJesuit]

Has your RA been ignoring your pleas? Cause this guy should have had a little chat from the Powers that Be some time ago...

[MetalSlimeHunt]

RA doesn't ignore me, but he's very busy and I only bother him with the very egregious things.

[nenjin]

I'd say this qualifies. Get into your best "this is the last straw" mindset. And if your RA tries to brush it off, just make it a point to say: "How would you like it if some dude was jerking off not three feet away from your bed while you're sleeping?" If he still brushes it off, go over his head to the next admin up. This isn't one of those "Okkk I guess I'll just go somewhere else for a couple hours...." things.