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[Reudh]

Went for an early morning ride o' the bike this morning early in the morning. This is largely how it went for me.

The Australian Magpie swoops at the Cyclist with his beak, but the attack is deflected by the cyclist's xPolystyrene and Plastic Helmetx.
The Australian Magpie scratches at the Cyclist with its talon, but the attack glances away!
The Australian Magpie swoops at the Cyclist with his beak, but the attack is deflected by the Cyclist's leather belt!

x999

[Korbac]

GoombaGeek, that was AMAZING. XD

Reudh, did he manage to tear the skin? 

[Reudh]

Nope, not in the half hour it pursued me. My sister on a different occasion didn't fare so well and had to have that fancyshmancygluestuff put on her scalp after it was disinfected because magpie beaks carry tetanus.

[Sirus]

Nope, not in the half hour it pursued me. My sister on a different occasion didn't fare so well and had to have that fancyshmancygluestuff put on her scalp after it was disinfected because magpie beaks carry tetanus.

D:

[penguinofhonor]

Was your helmet particularly shiny?

[MetalSlimeHunt]

My RA has directed Worst Person on Earth to get a temporary key from the university before tonight, and has implied to me that he shall be very unhappy if he puts it off. Worst Person on Earth will have to pay about $40 to have our lock changed afterwards.

I haven't seen him all day, but I imagine he's unhappy.

[Jack_Bread]

My friend tried to break my arm as a joke.
He told me if I picked up his cat, he was going to punch me twice, because I like teasing his cats.
I nudged her, then my sister said that I pushed his cat. Then he said, "Oh, you pushed? That means I break your arm."
Then I try to push him away as he came up to me, but he got his grip on my arm and twisted it behind my back.
After having my arm painfully behind my back for a moment, he let go and said "Eh, good enough."
What the fuck. My sister didn't think that he'd go that far, too.

[Reudh]

Was your helmet particularly shiny?

No shinier than any other helmets.

My friend tried to break my arm as a joke.
He told me if I picked up his cat, he was going to punch me twice, because I like teasing his cats.
I nudged her, then my sister said that I pushed his cat. Then he said, "Oh, you pushed? That means I break your arm."
Then I try to push him away as he came up to me, but he got his grip on my arm and twisted it behind my back.
After having my arm painfully behind my back for a moment, he let go and said "Eh, good enough."
What the fuck. My sister didn't think that he'd go that far, too.

Break his arm right back. He sounds like a dickhead.

[Sirus]

My friend tried to break my arm as a joke.
He told me if I picked up his cat, he was going to punch me twice, because I like teasing his cats.
I nudged her, then my sister said that I pushed his cat. Then he said, "Oh, you pushed? That means I break your arm."
Then I try to push him away as he came up to me, but he got his grip on my arm and twisted it behind my back.
After having my arm painfully behind my back for a moment, he let go and said "Eh, good enough."
What the fuck. My sister didn't think that he'd go that far, too.

What the hell. I think we have two Scumbag Steves in this thread now D:

Where are all the Good Guy Gregs?

[MaximumZero]

There's a nerve cluster right in the middle of the shin, about 1/8 offset to the inside of the leg. Kick it. Hard.

[GoombaGeek]

There's a nerve cluster right in the middle of the shin, about 1/8 offset to the inside of the leg. Kick it. Hard.

or just go for the balls

EDIT: unless I have misjudged someone's gender >:I

[nenjin]

Who feels vindicated at the thread title? Awwwww yeah. Scumbag Steve and Asshole Amy are the every jerk of us all.

[Wrex]

Go for the throat, or the solar plexus. The testicles aren't instantly debiliating. Having the wind driven out of you by a good elbow is.

[kaijyuu]

Isn't crushing the esophagus a good way to kill someone? :X

[MaximumZero]

Yes. Yes, it is. If you're looking to stop someone instantly, but not hurt them too badly, use pressure points. It's not nice, but it won't kill them, either.