Just watched Here Comes Honey Boo Boo.
Highlights:
-The 12 year old daughter eats cheetos off the tacky old carpet.
-"My uncle is gay so he's a poodle"
-Bobbing for (raw) pig's feet
-Mud pool belly flop contest.
-"Redneck Games", a celebration of the cultural diversity of the Deep South
-"I hope y'all are gettin that flesh-eatin' disease!" from Alana to some people swimming in a river
-"My mama weighs the most because she's the fattest"
-"I'm proud of my fatness, some people have like 500 chins, I only have 2 or 3"
-"Look at that woman, she's fatter than I am and she's wearing a bikini. She's not wearing it, the bikini is literally eating her"
-A Confederate flag every other scene
-"If you fart 12 to 15 times a day you're healthy. My kids are healthy"
-The intro is literally them waving at you and a fart noise. The 12-year old (who also ate the cheetos off the floor) says "Mama!"
-The little kid (Honey Boo Boo, her real name is Alana) gets mad for not winning a pageant. So her parents buy her a pet pig.
-Pumpkin: "Whachu eatin dat fat cake for? I thought you were on a diet?" Alana: "Gimme dat fat cake! You're on a diet!"
-Pumpkin: "My mama thinks I need etiquette classes. I don't need no etiquette classes, no manners, nuthin. What you see is what you get."
-Pumpkin sees a bug in her soup bowl and starts picking at it. I'm also pretty damn sure she picked her nose right before that.
-Pumpkin: "I'll stop passin' gass when I'm dead.
-Alana: "I didn't learn nuthin from the etiquette class, because it wasn't fun.
-Pumpkin: "You mean when you gotta take a poo poo or somethin'?"
-Pumpkin: "I mean, I fart when I'm sitting like this."
-They go to an auction to buy food for cheap. Spoiler: all they buy is junk food. Even when they all agreed to go on a diet.
-Dad: "Is that part of the diet?" Mom: "No, it's for you." Dad: "Alright."
-Mom: "When are you going to start on your diet?" Jessica: "Tomorrow!", while guzzling down a bag of pork rinds.
-Alana: “Chickadee’s stomach is bigger than mine ‘cause she swallowed Kaitlyn.” .
-Alana: "Mama, how do they know it's a girl?"
-Mom: "Alana, do you know where babies come from?" Alana: "Oh yeah, when a mommy and a daddy love each other very much, a baby pops out."
-Mom: "I know the food is close to expiring or it fell out of the back of the truck, but psshaw."
-Ultrasound tech: "We know it's a girl because it has girl parts." Alana: "Where's her biscuit at?" Mom: "We call it a biscuit because you know, when you have a biscuit and it's cooked right, like at a Hardee's or something, it looks like a biscuit."
-Alana, in Glitzy the pig's "bed": "Smells like shit."
-Alana: "Uncle Poodle is gay. He has a little fruit in his tank."
-Alana: "That pig can be gay if he wants. We can’t tell it what to do”. The pig is a male but Alana says she'll dress him up like a girl.Also in the preview she thinks the pig talks to her.
-The house is literally filled with towers of paper towels. I think she's an Extreme Couponer.
-Mom: “All that vajiggle jaggle is not beautimous.”
-Pumpkin: "It ain't gonna be gay!", referring to the pig Glitzy.
-Mom: "Jiha- uh... Jah... Giada... Jadooha Hooda or whatever." I don't even.
-I missed the first 15 minutes or so, but a quick search filled me in.. “The redneck games are similar to the Olympics but with a lot of missing teeth and buttcracks showing.”
And, while not from Here Comes Honey Boo Boo itself, these two gems are from Toddlers and Tiaras, in the very first 5 minutes no less:
-"I'm a reeeedneeeeeck Honey Boo Boo y'all!"
-After covering her face in mud, "This is how we do facials down country-fried, y'all!"
We've hit the gold mine, folks. It can't get better than this.
pleasekillmeohgodGirl, you ain't all that and a pack of crackers. You'd better redneck-o-nize...
This show makes
amazing .gifs though. It's like a car accident. You can't look away.
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Topic: Things that made you RRRRRRAAAAGGGGEEEE today: Trust-o-nomics Edition (Read 3778365 times)