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[alway]

Submitting a job application for IBM, I accidentally submitted my Intel resume. Opening line of the Resume:

Objective:
To acquire a programming internship at Intel during the summer of 2012.

No way to change it with their submission system... D:

[fqllve]

That really sucks.

I guess all you can do is email an admin, hopefully they won't hold it against you. Certainly better than the alternative.

[Ehndras]

Submitting a job application for IBM, I accidentally submitted my Intel resume. Opening line of the Resume:

Objective:
To acquire a programming internship at Intel during the summer of 2012.

No way to change it with their submission system... D:

I am so, so sorry, but this made me burst out laughing at... *checks watch* 2:19 AM.

[RedKing]

Get somebody at work demanding I help them copy a CD. I figure, no biggie, we do this all the time with CDs of surveillance audio/video, jailhouse recordings, that sort of thing. Ten minutes into trying to walk her through it (and having to explain multiple times the difference between a CD and a DVD, and the difference between audio and video >_<)...I discover that it's not a data disc with surveillance recordings on it...it's a commercial music CD.

"Ma'am, are you trying to get me fired?"
Attitude about how it was taking too long completely vanished once I stated that it was illegal and began implying that I was going to need to report this with her supervisor. "Oh, okay, no problem then. Thanks!" *click*

Almost makes me want to vote for Ron Paul, with the hope that he'd lay off ALL the government employees so we could start fresh. There's entirely too many of these sort clogging up the Federal payrolls, with decades of tenure.

[nenjin]

My own lack of ability at ping pong.

Ok, scratch that. I know how to play Ping Pong, and I'm not half bad.

But when you're playing with professionals, half-bad doesn't cut it. I feel like I have exactly zero paddle control when I'm trying to learn forehand like they're teaching me. So 90% of my returns suck and the dude playing on my side basically has to suffer through 2 points every time I get served to. Doubles probably isn't the best place to learn to control my forehand, but still. GRAH. I hate feeling like a graceless turd around people who are quite skilled at what they're doing.

[jc6036]

My own lack of ability at ping pong.

Ok, scratch that. I know how to play Ping Pong, and I'm not half bad.

But when you're playing with professionals, half-bad doesn't cut it. I feel like I have exactly zero paddle control when I'm trying to learn forehand like they're teaching me. So 90% of my returns suck and the dude playing on my side basically has to suffer through 2 points every time I get served to. Doubles probably isn't the best place to learn to control my forehand, but still. GRAH. I hate feeling like a graceless turd around people who are quite skilled at what they're doing.

You've moved into the table tennis realm, what seperates the men from the boys.  You'll know you're playing table tennis instead of ping pong when you wake up in the morning sore.

[Scelly9]

also, the fastest I got my internet to was 700KB/s

You lucky. On a bad day the max I get is 30KB/s

[RedKing]

LIVESTREAM, Y U NO MIX AUDIO RIGHT?

[Valid_Dark]

My own lack of ability at ping pong.

Ok, scratch that. I know how to play Ping Pong, and I'm not half bad.

But when you're playing with professionals, half-bad doesn't cut it. I feel like I have exactly zero paddle control when I'm trying to learn forehand like they're teaching me. So 90% of my returns suck and the dude playing on my side basically has to suffer through 2 points every time I get served to. Doubles probably isn't the best place to learn to control my forehand, but still. GRAH. I hate feeling like a graceless turd around people who are quite skilled at what they're doing.

My backhand is also much much better than my forehand.  To compensate sometimes I'll jump 3 feet to my right and use my backhand instead of risking it with my forehand.

[SalmonGod]

My backhand is also much much better than my forehand.

My right arm's a lot stronger than my left arm.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

[nenjin]

You'll know you're playing table tennis instead of ping pong when you wake up in the morning sore.

Already through that period of it, thankfully. Got blisters on the insides of both my feet from it hehe.

I don't have excellent coordination, so learning to even get on a good line with forehand or backhand is tough. I'm steadily unlearning years of bad habits (read as: sticking my paddle flat out in front of me instead of actually swinging to contact the ball) from friendly ping pong during the holidays. On the plus side, playing at a table in a single car garage over the years taught me to work in very small spaces. So I have some decent soft touch tricks I can pull....in between the uber slams these guys dish out on cue.

What I really need is some time at the table while I'm not uh...on the clock.

[Darvi]

I hate my internet connection and everything and -body involved in making it so shitty.

[Akura]

I might have been out of line a bit about those anti-Christian comments. It's just really hard not to be completely pissed off when the entirety of a subgroup of a group that I interact with in any/every way on a constant basis is that subgroup that's almost entirely douchebags.

Anyway, ignoring that, yesterday, my boss was giving a sermon about the apostle Paul's trip to Athens. Turns out, he doesn't know his ancient Greek Mythology(odd, considering he has a doctorate that I've never seen in Theology), since he identified Athena, patron("matron" would be more approprate?) of Athens as "NOT the goddess of wisdom, but the goddess of lust and beauty". Protip: That was Aphrodite, although I think Athena had a lesbian thing going on with Nike(to be fair, Greek Mythology is full of smut). It's kinda hard to listen to a guy who not only doesn't have his facts straight, but also sometimes puts blatant lies into his sermons.

And then, the boss had me putting grommets into a banner, which I had to do quickly since the board of directors was coming for an inspection, doing it half-way, having to take the ones I put in out and almost completely start over again since he wanted me to grommet together two banners(so it was double-sided) when it was about 5 minutes from the time they were supposed to come. It takes me about 5-10 minutes just to do one grommet, out of four total, not counting taking them out which taks longer since the only thing I had was a dangerous-to-use pair of wire crimps.

Before that, the new warehouse manager - the old one, the one who got a little "handy" with me a few weeks ago, was fired/retired, but that's a whole 'nother issue that I don't have the whole story on. The new guy, however, is pretty good for the job - had a razor blade that I've been trying to fix. The problem is that it doesn't slide in or out any more. Apparently, the bit that holds the blade in(the blade also fell out at one point), was bent out of shape, so I hammered back roughly into shape. It worked(sorta), and then I noticed that the blade was dull. And the only other knife in the warehouse I can find is some stupid safety knife; the first thing I managed to cut with it while figuring out the safety mechanism was the cuticle of my finger. Go figure >_<.

The first time I saw GRTY on a receipt, I asked my sensei, "They're charging us for using their gravity!? What the hell, man?" He cracked up laughing.

Don't give them the idea to do that. They just might .

[Skyrunner]

I hate my internet connection and everything and -body involved in making it so shitty.

Me too. Dem Comcast peoples...

Always, every night, about 8:30 to 10:00. No internetz for me.

[ToonyMan]

dinner raeg

This. Fucking THIS. I ordered a pizza once from this seriously over-priced (but very delicious) family-owned Pizza place here in town.
Total is like $22 something. I give the (completely stoned-off-his-ass-delivery boy) 2 $20s. And he just says thanks and starts walking away. There was no misunderstanding, he looked straight at my scissored $20s and thought he was going to walk off with $18 in change and I wouldn't notice.
It's the only time I've ever shouted What The Fuck to a total stranger. Dude looked like a kicked dog as he made my change. I delivered pie for 6 months, and delivered my ass off. Not that there's some sort of delivery boy code, but I wanted to bitch slap this guy for that. Gratuity is called fucking gratuity for a reason.

Well...that is pretty gratuitous.

Can we share social ineptitude stories?  We ordered a pizza and I had to be the one that paid the guy.  He's here so I go and pays for the $8 or whatever that it costed.  I was only given a $20 bill of course.  After giving me everything he looks at me like (so what's the change gonna be?).  I'm already freaking out at this point as the inside of my head starts going (TAKE IT TAKE IT AND LEAVE) and I tell him it's fine whatever.  He thanks me (it was so sincere man) and leaves.  Then I had to explain why I gave this guy a tip larger than the order itself.