"Talk about your American heritage."
"I don't really consider myself an American so much as I consider myself a person. Patriotism is not a virtue; it divides people rather than unites them. That I should be proud that I was born south of the 49th parallel, rather than north of it- is an idea both absurd and dangerous."
"Well...thank you, Mr. Nilsen, for those inspiring words."
Campaign manager: *facepalm*
"It's been rumored that you believe in Marx's theory of history as class warfare. Care to comment on that?"
"With a few edits, yeah, basically."
"It's been rumored that you don't watch football."
"I don't even know how it's played. I like cricket, though. And baseball. But yeah, mostly cricket."
"You have described yourself as both a Christian and a socialist. Many Americans find this an untenable combination. Would you like to comment on that?"
"If Jesus Christ were walking around today as an inspirational speaker, we would probably label him a dangerous, unpatriotic leftist. That's fine, of course, but I don't think you can claim to subscribe to Christianity and also claim that the poor are lazy good-for-nothings, that we should have an active military that we use for purposes other than self-defense or the prevention of genocide, or that the free market must be a good idea."
"Many veterans of the Vietnam War are outraged at the things you've said."
"Let's call a spade a spade. We committed mass murder in Vietnam, and those soldiers who actively signed up to go, rather than being drafted, are war criminals."
Would I say those things? Yeah, I would, because I believe them. And sometimes, of course, I simply enjoy pointing out inconsistencies in other people's thinking, on both sides of the political spectrum...
"So, Congressman, you're from Alabama, right?"
"Yessir."
"Would you say that if the government takes property from somebody with no justification by force, it should give it back?"
"Yes sir, I would say that."
"An excellent principle. By the way, your constituency's been liquidated- it's the property of the Cherokee now."