Thanks. This is what I agree with. The thing that got me here, is that I know some examples of the former (and may have ended up one of those types of guys myself had my personal life not ended up totally bizarre in other ways), and I have seen plenty of evidence that guys who act like assholes are generally more attractive to the majority of women somehow. I also think there are some cultural factors that are typically ignored - for instance "nice guys" are often the types of people who have had lots of social problems unrelated to romance (bullying, for instance), which has a large effect on one's social behaviors and self esteem and makes placing the blame on them for being cowardly and other such notions more difficult for me to swallow.
I don't like "nice guys" because I am not a nice girl.
That doesn't mean I want to date an asshole. But I am never going to be a pretty girl with nice hair, clothes, and makeup, who makes sandwiches. I don't like the veneer of "niceness." It feels dishonest. I'm a jerk sometimes. I want to be called out on it. I want to be told what to do sometimes. I don't want some dude who is endlessly patient, because I'm not endlessly patient and I'd rather have the semblance of an equitable relationship.
Compliments on my brains (and nothing else; you can be objectified via intellect, too =/) stopped being sexy a while back, because they're usually part of putting me on a pedestal of Knowledge, just like many other women are put on pedestals of Demureness or Physical Beauty. I want to be treated like a person, me, rather than a vase.
The stereotypical "nice guy," i.e. the people who self-identify as such, seem to be incapable of that.
I understand about the bullying thing. I really do. I got my share. But all the same, any guy who treats me like a thing does not get the benefit of a bad past to stand on. Any guy who waits for three years and expects me to have gone for him instead of going with some other dude does not get much sympathy. I'll be sorry that he wasn't secure enough to ask, but... seriously, what was I supposed to do,
wait just in case he wants to ask me? It's not that
nice guys finish last. It's guys who never try and put the onus on me to magically know what they want, so that they won't have to open themselves up. I am not an instrument for wish-fulfillment, either.
Those cultural factors should not mean that I ever have to emotionally cripple myself again by putting up with stereotypical "nice guy" bullshit. I ate it once. I'm never eating it again.
Meh. Too many personal experiences here. I hope you can see past the feelings to what I really mean.